Being His Crown

It's Friday and we are happy about it!  Today's FHM Being His Crown is really a review.  We have covered a lot of topics and I don't want us to miss the opportunity to dig deep and understand our husbands and ourselves.  Angie and I are really wanting to know if these post are helping, encouraging and or challenging you ladies.  We are certainly being stretched everytime we post something because we either have to be practicing these truths or learning how to apply them along with you.  Any way just leave a comment letting us know you are reading even if you are not consistently posting.  Thanks we need encouragement too!  :)

Let's Review.....

The Beginning....

The heart of this ministry comes from Proverbs 12:4a "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband" and Proverbs 31:29 "Many have done excellently but you surpass them all". This whole effort is to help women embrace their identity in Christ and specifically concerning your husband.

The Assignment...

Ask your husband these 10 questions. Be your husbands crown not comparing yourself to other women.

1. What type of support do you need from me? Example does he need you to compliment, build his esteem, speak out more often, or brutal honestly.
2. What small or big thing could you do to make his day?
3. How often does he really want to have sex? You have to ask this question. I know most of you think his answer will be everyday all the time. However you many be surprised at the real answer.
4. How does he feel about the food you cook? It is too healthy for him, not healthy enough, is there something he would like to have every now and then?
5. Is the house clean enough? Does it matter to him if there are dishes in the sink overnight?
6. How about your appearance? Would he like you to wear makeup, high heels, flats, more or less jewelry?
7. Does he feel like you respect him, in public and private.
8. Does he feel like you trust him?
9. What is his favorite outfit of yours?
10. Does he need you to be more or less open and vulnerable?

The Flawed Crown....
How are we working through the flaws in our lives as we are "BEing his Crown"?

The Physical Crown....
Your image of you. Physically. How does that affect your relationship with your husband?

You can click on the title of any of the previous post to review the full story.  If you remember the post and just have not had an opportunity to respond now is the time sister!  We desire to grow in our relationship with our husbands and in Christ, your words may be what someone else needs to encourage them along their journey.  Let us know you are there by leaving a comment and encouraging another sister along the way! 

Being his Crown

Last week there was homework!  Make a comment on this site or on BlogFrog to share insight from the homework assignment!  Today's Being his Crown (FHM) will be hosted at homemaker chronicles. Click here to read what is on Angie's mind.  Don't forget to join in on the discussion at Blog Frog. 

Chores and Charts PRAISE THE LORD!

Saturday the 6th of February my family and I spend the day with all the Halehole's.  We had a fabulous time and exchanged some great family ideas.  Mrs. Halehole allowed me to borrow two books (Managers of Their Homes & Managers of Their Chores by Steven and Teri Maxwell).  These books have changed my world (for the better)!  I am so thankful to God and the Maxwell's and to Mrs. Halehole for getting this information into my hands! 

I am now the proud momma of three morning chore chart packs, and a color coded kitchen chore chart.  We still have lots of charting and chores to establish, but I am very excited by what I have seen so far.

We have kept rooms squared away for days.  Dinner clean up took all of 10 minutes.  I don't think you understand what I am saying.  IT TOOK 10 Minutes to clean an entire kitchen for a family of five.  That my friends is SUCCESS!

I did not understand the importance of having my children participate in household chores until recently.  So word to the wise get these little people moving!  Not only for you but truly for them and their future spouse!

Thanks friends!

Being His Crown (Friday's Homemaker Moments)

The topic...Learning YOUR husband, so he can wear HIS CROWN (YOU) well!

It's Friday and I am holdin' it down for the "Being his Crown" FHM this week! I am thrilled to share this particular topic with you ladies. In my 12 years of marriage to Phil, I have realized that the type of woman my husband needs is very specific. It has taken years and years to fully understand (did I say fully? I meant gain a little understanding of) his needs as a man, husband, father, friend and co-laborer in the gospel of Christ.

In times past I struggled with comparing myself to others (especially Christian women). You know how we (Christian women) try to act like everything is perfect in our world because of Jesus all the while hurting and in need of one or two sisters to just say, "I hear you, I understand or you can make it through." Okay I feel like I am digressing!

My point is you are your husband's crown not mine. So the things that I do should be specific to my husbands needs. Have you ever done this?

Talked to a friend and they said, "I wake up at 5:00am have a quiet time with the Lord for one hour. After that I make a full breakfast for my husband and kids. Then as my husband leaves for work the kids and I stand at the door waving as he pulls out of the driveway because that is what he likes. It makes him feel important and significant." So, after this conversation you go home and wake up the next morning at 5:00am and attempt to recreate this woman’s morning. But the response from your husband is much different. Your husband does not like big breakfasts. As a result he overlooks your meal, gives quick kisses to everyone, hops in his car and drives off looking back at the whole family like you have all LOST your mind. Then you walk away feeling like the biggest unloved, unwanted LOSER!

Has that ever happened to you? Well, I have experienced something along those lines. I can recall thinking those are good things I should do them. I thought my husband would really respond favorably to this, only to find that he is in no way interested. This type of comparing hurts marriage. We need to take time to understand our own husband. I don't need to understand your man you don't need to understand mine. There is nothing wrong with the exchange of ideas and practical things, but at the end of the day we need to see what it is that pleases our OWN husband.

Our goal with FHM Being His Crown is that you would embrace the crown that you are for your husband. However, you can't fully do that if you don't know what kind of jewels he likes to wear. Remember, you are already a crown for your husband, but today we are going to decorate that crown just the way your man likes it.

You have an assignment....
Ask your husband these 10 questions.

1. What type of support do you need from me? Example does he need you to compliment, build his esteem, speak out more often, or brutal honestly.

2. What small or big thing could you do to make his day?

3. How often does he really want to have sex? You have to ask this question. I know most of you think his answer will be everyday all the time. However you many be surprised at the real answer.

4. How does he feel about the food you cook? It is too healthy for him, not healthy enough, is there something he would like to have every now and then?

5. Is the house clean enough? Does it matter to him if there are dishes in the sink overnight?

6. How about your appearance? Would he like you to wear makeup, high heels, flats, more or less jewelry?

7. Does he feel like you respect him, in public and private?

8. Does he feel like you trust him?

9. What is his favorite outfit of yours?

10. Does he need you to be more or less open and vulnerable?


What are your thoughts on this topic? Comment or share on your space using the MckLinky below. Or visit us in the Blog Frog Forum under Homemaker Chronicles.







 

The cure for arguing in kids!

People I have found the cure for arguing if you have more than one child.

Here is the stage...

We just returned from the gym. The kids were looking forward the next activity. It was water week at the gym and we did not know it so the kids did not wear swim suits thus they did not want to get wet. All that to say, they went to the gym to sit on their butts while I experienced burning pain and sweat. :) Anyway, we were home and the girls were fighting and Nicollus was stirring to pick a fight of some sort. I was basically not going to have it.

So I sent Nicollus to mow the yard, and the girls to wash my van. LOVELY Problem solved. They needed something to keep their hearts and hands busy. Nicollus came in drenched in his own sweat. I also received a text from the neighbor who wants to hire Nicollus to mow her yard as well! SWEET!

The girls were very focused and worked well together while washing the car. The reason for arguing is often boredom and the solution is directed activity. While I do realize the importance of a child's ability to self entertain and manage their own behavior at a particular age...it is also important for us to "get in front of" negative behaviors. That means don't wait until your children are failing apart to do something with them...PREPARE for them. We need to be PRO ACTIVE with our children and not reactive. While I was certainly reactive in the situation above. I have since learned to "get in front of" potential negative behaviors.

Summer Time

Just wanted to write about how we are thoroughly enjoying the summer. We go to the gym, hang out with friends, clean house, clean yard (well not yet), swim, serve and minister....it's totally awesome!

I have to say this would not be such a wonderful summer if I were still nursing! Why you ask? This is why....
We can fold three loads of laundry, put them away, unload the dishwasher and reload it, sweep the kitchen floor, wipe the table and counters, vacuum the floors and clean a bathroom in 30 to 45 minutes all by working together! I love it! I am not sure what took me so long to see I have help in the house all the time!

Just a word of encouragement ladies.............

EMPLOY YOUR CHILDREN TO WORK ALONGSIDE YOU! You will both benefit greatly in the long run. Don't make the mistake of thinking, "I could do it better by myself." In the end you and the kids will suffer from not being able to spend much time together..... because you have to do it all. Hint hint...you can't do it ALL! Let me rephrase that.... you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. In Christ, strength is wisdom and for home maintenance wisdom would say allow your children to help!

Homemaker Moments

This homemaker moment is different from the others in the sense that my focus is not on how I was able to fulfill my role but how other mothers are fulfilling their role and beyond!

This week I experienced a very long birth. This month alone I assisted with three births two of them were scheduled for other months. Anyway, all that to say I am so grateful to God for allowing women to be all they need to be in their home and still have enough to bless someone else.

Here is my shout out! To HaleHole3, thanks for bringing cooked lasagna, and strawberry cake to my house, after a midweek birth. To the J.W., thanks for picking up my kids and hanging with them after school for a few hours. To Servingthesaints, thanks for teaching my kids to make strawberry preserves and praying for me during a difficult labor. Finally to my Homemaker Chronicle, thanks for holding it down in prayer, dinners, and sanity contacts!

I would be remiss if I did not give it up to the super duper woman, Impressions that Last! This is my mother who lives next door and is always there. Thanks for taking care of my family from the "sun up to sun down Saturday birth". I couldn't stop laughing as my mother reported, "your family has been at my house all day they don't know what to do without you." I left the house for this birth at 6:00am and returned at 10:00p.m or so. As I was driving home and talking to my mother, thinking they had gone home by now (surely)....No they were still next door at her house hanging, eating her food, watching her television, and whatever else they needed. This was not the first and won't be the last time I am certain of that fact!So again thank you momma!

Homemakers all over the world this goes out to you! You spend many days and nights building your home, your husband, and your children. Most times this includes a to do list that is out of this world. Yet, some how it all gets done, or at least the most important of those things gets done. I love you sister in the Lord and I know without a doubt that our Father in Heaven loves you even more than I ever could! Continue to walk in the grace afforded to you by our GREAT GOD AND KING! Serve well and strive for excellence in all you say and do, making sure that above all else He is satisfied with your act of service to HIM!

HOMEMAKER MOMENT!

It has been weeks since I have posted a homemaker moment. So with great joy and excitement I am searching for a moment to share with you. oh I remember a very cool moment! Here goes....

It was one Sunday night we were just hang out in our bedroom with the kids. I had a talk with my daughter about puberty earlier that day. It was awesome, she was very receptive to the conversation. I have to set this up in order for you to understand the family dynamic. In instructing my daughter about the days ahead (specifically menstrual cycle) we needed create a training drill. This was learned by all the drills and field time from the military. Holla, if you know what I am talking about (military wives). I gave her a pad and showed her how to use it. We actually put it on and let her wear it around and I would later teach her how to discard. Discarding is a very important step, please instruct your girl carefully!

Now to the family conversation.

Have you ever wondered what your children are actually learning from you? Well, I have. That night we asked them what they see in us.

My question was from three specific marriages whose would you like yours to be like and why? Our son was the first to answer. He said, "Yours because there is lots of affection." Then my oldest daughter chimed in with the same response. Our youngest daughter said, "Yours because I see lots of respect." Can you say WOW! I was relieved, thankful, blessed and amazed! I mean you want your children to get the message you are instilling, but you don't really know if they are getting it. So it was awesome to hear them articulate in their own words.

"We ask what nice or mean things do you hear dad say about mom, and vice versa?" Our son, first responder once again, states "Dad is always saying that I have the hottest wife and that moms a fox and stuff." The youngest states, "Dad calls you his queen." Of course that was what both girls identified with. Najee' is striving to overthrow me by calling herself a queen or at least one in training. Nichelle, however fully understands that she doesn't get the title queen until we find the king God created her for. What does mom say nice about dad? The room went silent! :0 Nichelle goes into how mom is always doing something nice, like cooking, cleaning, helping with homework, grocery shopping, going to the school, giving birth with people and taking care of everyone.

It was funny how she hit the nail right on the head. In regards to my family I am all about getting the job done. Clearly that has shown up as well. I have been seeking the Lord about opening my mouth with praise more often towards my husband and my children. I don't desire them to be only workers.

Anyway, then we start talking about what they would like to be and or do as adults. Nicollus says, "I want to preach the gospel in a mobile home like dad." Then all of a sudden my daughter walks out of our bathroom and announces that she took off her pad and put on a new one! Phil looks at me and I look at him. Then he says, "You forgot a few details!" In that moment I realize she is using material that I will actually need! "Hold up little sister! First you don't announce your business, second you don't get to keep putting on new pads because I will need them." I responded. With a look of sorrow she says, "okay". However that was just after she put her finger over her mouth and said, "shhhhhhh" to everyone in the room as a sign of privacy.

If that was not funny enough, we continue talking. Nicollus starts preaching a sermon about how the man has to work to provide for his family. The wife and children get to enjoy the benefits of the mans labor. Then it goes on and on. I am praying now for the mobile park my son leads...they are in for some long winded sermons!

All that to say, by the grace of God we are doing our job as parents. I can't boast in anything but Christ. He is working all these things in us as well as our children. I know the homemaker moments are to "brag on yourself" but in this case I really can't. It is by God's grace ALONE that all this is taking place. I am sure we all understand that as we post our homemaker moments but I thought I'd make that statement in the event someone thought this was my or Phil's wonderful parenting.

I hope this encourages you as moms and even dads to seek the wisdom of God in all things. Remember those little people that live in your home are watching and absorbing everything. Pray they absorb Christ in the end!

Another Homemaker Moment!

This homemaker moment is less about what a great job I have done and more about how wonderful my husband is. On Wednesday I received a phone call from a laboring client. Now, Wednesday evenings is our official date night. Not much ever interrupts that time! Back to the phone call on Wednesday night! I thought seriously...your not due until March! I know, I know I can't predict or plan such things.

Phil and I continued with our date (kind of). I was on the phone with the woman in labor, my doula partner, and the Birth Works Director (Nurse Midwife). WHAT A DATE NIGHT!? My husband was clearly bothered by the whole situation. He understood my obligation, but again this has not happened on one of our date nights EVER!

Long story short. We wrapped our date up pretty quickly, picked up our kids from AWANA, and off I was to be with the laboring momma. It turned out to be a false alarm but good we went to the hospital the baby's heart rate was high and the momma was dehydrated. So at around 1:30A.M I arrived home from a thirty minute drive from the hospital.

As I walked in the door, much to my surprise all the laundry was neatly folded and organized by person and or location. The dishes were clean and put away and my whole house was sound asleep. That was a homemaker moment!

My moment is to simply say thank you to my husband (PUBLICLY)! The time spent cleaning and organizing the house during a difficult situation was greatly appreciated! I will build my home by using the word thank you more often!

I learned this from the experience. Our service to one another speaks to the glory of God. In my husbands service to me I was able to see how Christ serves and loves His bride even when her attention is divided. Christ will pursue His bride even when other things (even good things) distract her. That pursuit will always bring her back to Him! Thank you Lord for making yourself known to me in this way through my husband!

I Love You....My King


Queen

HOMEMAKER MOMENTS!

It's Friday...time for the homemaker moments. Ladies don't forget to share your moments with others. I find it very encouraging to read how the Lord is working in your life to build your home. Lots of ideas come from these moments. You can click on title to go to Angie's blog the originator of Homemaker Moments!

Here are my moments...
This week was rough because I had to work through some really hard things with my children. Okay moms let be honest. You know how, we understand that our children are foolish, sinful, and will do things wrong in our mind. But in our heart we feel they can do no wrong? There was a situation an old one but I just found out about it. My kid was the rotten child. And I found out in front of another adult. Oh, how my heart sank to the ground! My child foolish...couldn't be...but it was! I was thankful that my child told the truth even with the knowlegde of consiquences. We have taught our children that we don't expect them to be perfect and we know from the starting block they will get it wrong. That is fine, but we encourage them to run to Jesus! Repent, Believe, and turn from sin then fall at the feet of Jesus. So here it was...the rubber hitting the road. Can I in this frustrating and disappointing moment display what we have taught?

Praise God! He gave me the strength to be firm, discipline, instruct, forgive, and love. I took that child to Christ. It was awesome at the end. Note, I said at the end, because getting to the end was really rough. My child said to me Christ is the only thing good in me. I thought okay you are on to something! Then I went on to share that you are correct. At the same time those who the Holy Spirit of God dwells in are made righteous and good. Child, you will error and fall short of God's glory daily. He knows that and choose you anyway. It is He who is perfect and He dwells in you, so rejoice and receive the forgiveness of God. Don't bind yourself with a bondage that was not given to you by God. This is how I talk to my kids. If they don't understand they will tell me but more often then not they get it. So the short version is that there was peace and restoration. My pride was crushed and that was a good thing.

On another note...
My daughters started a business with a friend. The daughter of Angie (homemaker chronicle lady). They are so excited and I am too. We have talked about all kinds of wonderful things. This was an awesome intro to home school for me. With this one concept we are able to cover math, economics, design, writing, advertising...the list goes on. We will showcase their work on the blog soon. They have decided to give 5% of their profit to help child in need of educational supplies. They came up with their own percentages and organization to give to. I thought it was wonderful. They are being responsible with finances. They report to one another their income and calculate the % and proper distribution. We have really spent quality time getting this off the ground. So get ready to order from Glamour Glare Jewels by NRN Jewelers. There work is awesome!

Finally...
My husband I are working on hard core open honest communication. Oh buddy! It is hard but we have greatly benefited from it. You know when you and your husband are discussing an issue and you both conclude the conversation but it isn't truly finished. We are going beyond that point. I mean really seeing the heart of matters..whether it be pride, selfishness, or misunderstnading. God is loving us through this process and again we are better for it!

Praise the Lord for His work in my home this week!

The Heart of My Son!

Angie's Page http://www.homemakerchronicles.com/blog/


I am so thankful to be able to share this homemaker moment. I had the opportunity to hear the heart of my son. He was accused of physically hurting another child. As soon as my child's name was mentioned in relation to hurting another child Dad when off! I have found myself doing the exact same thing on other occasions. Mainly because we don't expect our children (son in particular) to respond in seemingly harsh ways.

Long story short, after all was said and done I went in to talk to our son. I simply told him to tell me what happened. He really did not get a chance to do that before. So reluctantly he did. After explaining I understood why it happened. Then I said what else is going on. He slowly poured his heart out. I am so thankful! It was wonderful to actually listen to his heart and understand where he is. We need to make more room for times like these.

As parents we are often "the mouth" and seldom "the ear". I would encourage all to listen to the heart of your child. To actually close your mouth and open your ear. You may hear Christ speak in your ear through the mouth of your child!

HOMEMAKER MOMENTS

IT'S FRIDAY!

Homemaker Moments DAY!

It is odd but this week I have not felt wise or homemakery (might not be a word). I would imagine there was something said or done to build up my home...but nothing that just pops out at me. So i will attempt to share with you a few things that i hope you will find encouraging and homemaker ish!

I will follow Angie's lead and share a story about my son. Yesterday was a normal day but when I make dinner if my kids don't have a specific task they will crowd me in the kitchen and sneak samples of the food I'm cooking...they learned that horrible behavior from their DADDY! Anyway the girls were working as a team on homework so they could finish playing dolls (that were all over the living room floor) and Nicollus was just hanging. So I thought what a wonderful time to have him join me in making dinner. We made a awesome salad with all kinds of vegetables. He would cut a few things and I would cut something else. He really enjoyed making dinner and it was simple. Some cut up chicken with lettuce, veggies and of course strawberries with balsamic vinegar GREAT! Dinner was wonderful and all the compliments when to Nicollus and I. We were a great team.



Okay I can remember one more thing. We are striving to make our home fragranced with a sweet aroma of praise and worship unto God. What that means is we take every opportunity to speak of Christ and how in our everyday lives we see the work of GOD!

Okay so Tuesday night Phil said let just do some singing tonight with the kids. He asked me to find a scripture to read and so I did.

Well during singing time, it was awesome our kids were singing with joy and excitement, but here is the funny part. One of the kids were snuggled under my arm but the other two were hanging upside down, clapping, jumping it looked like a circus. They were casually enjoying the singing to the Lord. I took great delight in that. We have taught our children to be free and express their hearts to the Living God! So that was awesome.


So that was my couple of homemakers moments this week!

HOMEMAKER MOMENT!

My Homemaker Moment! I love what Angie is doing on her blog to encourage women to examine their life and see how the Lord is using us as wives and mothers in a huge way for His Glory. What an awesome and exciting adventure. So I have chosen to take the ride. Every Friday we are encouraged to post something that took place during that week that was a fulfillment of our God given roles as wife, mother, woman, and or believer! So here are my few stories, I couldn’t just do one! 

The first was on Monday night. A few women gathered at my home for pray (specifically for our husbands (Wifes in Touch)). During the prayer time Phil (my husband) was home hanging out and entertaining our children. After the prayer time the women come out to find Phil making bracelets for the girls. It was a wonderful site, mostly because my husband is NOT a big fan of the artsy craftsy world. So that night at bed time as I tucked in the girls, “I asked them what they thought about daddy making those bracelets?” I saw both of the girls eyes light up, “It was really cool that dad would make bracelets because he doesn’t really do that kind of stuff!” So no beans about it we all understand how amazing it was for dad to do that. Here was the fulfilling of the role. I shared with the girls about their Heavenly Father. “It was wonderful, cool, and amazing to see dad make those bracelets for you because he loves you and cares for you. But did you know that your Heavenly Father is a million times more wonderful, cool and amazing then dad. The love of your Heavenly Father is greater than all the love dad could ever think or imagine. That love, is the coolest love ever and none can compare!” They were so excited and truly grasped the concept of a love greater than the amazing natural dad…God the Father! SO how was my role fulfilled? In Titus 2:4 love their children, 1 Corinthians 8:6 yet there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, though whom are all things and through whom we exist, Deut. 6:7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise. That was my opportunity to bring Glory to Christ and teaching my daughters the truth that dad will fail as much as he loves you, Your Heavenly Father is better! It also releases Phil from unreasonable expectations from our daughters.

The second was Tuesday night. I was able to give something to my husband that he truly delights in and doesn’t come very often. This was role fulfilling because God’s word teaches us to love our husbands again Titus 2:4 love their husband.
The third was on Tuesday as well. I was scheduled to teach a women’s bible study but my husband was going to be running late. If you don’t already know we next door to my parents. Phil and I had planned for his late schedule by having the kids go next door until he arrived. However one of my girls was really struggling with me leaving and wanting me to wait until dad came home. So I weighed it out and chose to stay home because it was more loving and more impactful for me to stay home then to teach women who know the bible more about it. Phil came home in enough time and I was still able to teach and my daughter saw love in action.