FHM Being His Crown "Blessed to be His Crown"

This FHM “Being His Crown” is all about the blessing of being his crown. We have talked over and over about how important it is that we embrace the true beauty and blessing we are to our husbands. Today I am compelled to share how I am blessed to be the crown worn by my husband. You might call this a bragging session but you shouldn’t! You should call this true rejoicing in the Lord for His provision and wonderful grace displayed in my husband, which should in turn cause you to look at the wonderful blessing your husband is to you. Really consider the fact that your husband could be married to any woman in the world but you are the chosen one! Take a moment to recall that girlfriend of yours who told you about a problem she was experiencing in her marriage. The first thought in your head was, “Oh my…I am thankful not to be married to that man!” The truth is we all have struggles but not every woman is equipped to deal with every struggle. So the struggles you experience in your marriage will be specific to what the Lord is working out in your life. (Okay so I obviously went off on a tangent somewhere. We are back on track now).


Wednesday I experienced one of the worst parenting days of my life. I am aware that it won’t be the last. Anyway, my husband and I rotate morning wake up with the kids. Wednesday was my morning. The kids were in a crazy place and had been for sometime. They seem to have crazy attitudes and all kinds of other issues right now. Needless to say there was a whole lot of chaos that morning. My husband called me into the bedroom and asked me what was wrong. So, I just poured my heart out. I explained to him how the kids are rude to one another, disrespectful and on and on. I went on to say I was diligently searching for what the scripture has to say about respect and authority. I told him that I was worried that they are learning all their ugly behavior from me. I blame myself for their attitudes and whatever else was wrong. He then said, “I will take care of it. We will meet tonight at dinner and address this problem.” He comforted and reassured me that I was not to blame for their behavior. After that I just wept on his chest for about twenty minutes. The kids were still around talking and asking questions, commanding attention etc. My King put an end to all of it! We got the school children off to school and the homeschooled child on to schooling.

Then one of the most amazing things took place. My husband and I made love in such a way that brought healing to my soul. Okay, I do realize I am writing this is on my very public blog, but the Song of Solomon is also very public scripture! Back to the moment, as our bodies intertwined so did our hearts. God used my husband as a protector, provider, prophet, healer, lover and king. My tears were swallowed by his strength. Phil heard and responded to the depths of my pain. Understand that this was not done in his strength. He was able to love and bring healing because of what Christ has done for him. He was in tune with my need by God’s grace.

That evening we sat at the dinner table ate about 3/4th of the meal and then my husband began to speak. He explained that there was going to be a new order in our house. He also took full responsibility for the problem of harsh tone in our house. He explained where it began and how it will end. Christ is our focus and we love because he loved. The hammer was laid down and it was awesome. But he did not leave us with a hammer alone. He then explained how we need to speak to one another in light of the gospel. We need to look for the evidences of grace in the lives of our family members. He spoke as a prophet and protector which brought healing to our whole family. He even purchase a mini, mini container of ice cream for every family member. He explained how Jesus often spoke to the disciples around a meal. Therefore we get to partake of this correction and redirection with joy. That night got to share how we see God working in each of our lives. Before we even think of giving correction we need to see evidence of God’s grace in the life of the other individual. It was clear that he had taken in what I said and then sought Christ for clear direction and just laid it out in the most loving and direct way possible.

I am a very blessed woman! I am privileged to be worn on the head of this man. I love the way he loves me, attends to me, directs me in light of scripture, seeks the Father, looks well to the ways of his household and totally and completely has my back. Translation he would be willing to give of his very life for me. That is the kind of man I have. I am worn on his head in this life forever! Praise the Living God for His gift of love towards me through my husband.

What do you have to share about the man who wears you on his head? You don’t have to share a super long story like I did or you can. I would love to hear how blessed you are to be worn by your man!

FHM Being His Crown....Blast from the Past How did you Compare?

Last week Angie posted a chart to score how a woman in 2010 compared to a woman in 1930's.  So, how many of you asked your husband to score you?  Well, I did!  It was super fun and very eye opening!  My raw score was 9 which makes me an official failure as a wife in the 1930's.  Praise the Lord that His ordains the seasons and times in which we live.  Phil's comment after taking the test was, "I am going to divorce my wife according to Jewish Law and find another one because she will NOT allow me to sleep late on Sunday!"  Please that was a joke.  :)

Here is the old chart.

Let's make our own chart for 2010!


What should the standard be?  What should you get a merit or a demerit for?  This a list that my husband and I came up with.  Test yourself in the same manner as the old chart subtracting the demertis from the merits.  If it has a (D) next to it, well that is a demerit.  If it has a (M) next to it, it is a merit.  Every question is worth 1 point unless otherwise noted with a number in ( ). Then it subtract the merits from th demerits and get your raw score.  Use the original chart interpretations of your scores.  Have fun!  I will share with you my 2010 woman interpretations at the end.

1. Slow to eagerly participate in sex (D)(5)


2. Able to watch and understand sports without questions (M)

3. Able to make food from scratch (M)

4. Calls her mother or father to complain about husband (D)

5. Wears granny panties because they are comfortable (D)

6. Talks to people on Face book more than you (D)(5)

7. Can be found texting or on the computer longer than tending to the family (D)

8. Has a higher paying job than you (D)

9. Seeks to be like Mother Eve, and dominates her husband (D)(5)

10. Female friends over your house all the time(D)

11. Able to redesign the house on a budget(M)

12. Leaves notes about how wonderful you are(M)

13. Actually makes dinner for the family (M)

14. Is welcoming to guest (M)

15. Always seeking “ME TIME” (D)(5)

16. Keeps the cabinets filled with food you enjoy (M)

17. Is a great entertainer(M)

18. Creates a home atmosphere that is pleasant to come home to (M) (10)

19. Has other women that she faithfully disciples(M)

20. Has a special talent or gift that is complementary to yours.(M) (5)

21. Drops the kids off to school in pajamas(D)

22. Thinks of creative things to do with family (M)

23. Is rude, loud and opinionated about everything (D)

24.  Hides while changing clothes (D)
 
 
I took my own test and failed again! This time however I scored a 15 I am moving up the charts.  I did discover that the test is designed to make you fail.  You can only score a maximum of 25 points and that leaves you as a poor housewife to say the least.  So ladies don't be discouraged you are still "being his Crown".  I hope you enjoyed this little experiment.
 
~Nicolle~

Friday's Homemaker Moments

In lieu of our regular discussion about how we are currently being our husband’s crown, this week I would like to take a look back to a former era for a little comparing. I think we’re all aware, on some level, of the changes that have come about in women’s roles here in the U.S. and I found this great little checklist on line that will solidify our predictions. This “Woman’s Chart” was unearthed by some psychologists and is an actual document used by marriage counselors in the late 1930’s. To me it really speaks volumes about how different the role of a house wife really is today.

Now I realize that not everyone is a housewife, but I would love to see what all of our husbands have to say about our performances. So the assignment this week is to give your husband the “Wife’s Chart” and see how you measure up! You can post your scores in the comments or point out a specific area that you find interesting/ridiculous/unattainable.

Next week we’ll be discussing more about the differences between the 1930’s wife and the 2010 wife. I mean, I think I’m pretty much June Cleaver reincarnate, but it never hurts to take a good hard look at reality. Know what I mean?

Take a look!

~Angie

Homemaker Chronicles

Being His Crown FHM

Today let's take it back to the beginning back to basics.  I want to talk about being his crown in physical form.  I know we have gone over this in times past but I certainly think it is worth reviewing.  Let's talk about Adam and Eve!  In Genesis 2:22-25 Adam is put to sleep and this creature appears before him.  The vision of her causes Adam to burst into song.  I could imagine him saying FINALLY look at this....WO   MAN!  Then in verse 25 the scripture highlights that they were naked and unashamed.  I am going to take that information and go from there.

PHYSICAL FORM.....Naked and Unashamed!

Do we have shame in our nakedness before our spouse?  Please know I realize this was the state of man and woman before the fall.  I do however believe we can be naked and unashamed with our husband today because of the redemptive work of Christ.  I have often wondered what Eve's physical form looked like.  Maybe that is the body I should seek after.  Then, truth hits me hard.  Eve was Adam's mark of all things beautiful.  We have become that same mark of excellent beauty for our own husband.  This is a message to not short change yourself or your husband by being shameful or timid because you don't like your look.  I have now come to believe that magazines, books and images in general are not only concerns for men (who are visually simulated), but us too!  We look at these things and instantly compare.  We compare ourselves to images that are sometimes not real.  We now know there is great technology that will allow a woman to be sculpted in a photograph to look totally different than she does in reality.  Now, let's remove the excuse of airbrushing technology.  Say a woman looks fabulous in every physical way.  What does that have to do with you and your husband?  Nothing!  It doesn't matter what other women look like! The physical form of another should not be your standard of beauty.  As we do this "dance" of comparison we deny our husbands the crown they long for in us.  I would even say the issue of comparison is as big a problem as porn.  Why, because it distorts reality.  The reality is you may have booty do (where your belly sticks out further than your booty do), flabby arms, saggy bottom, huge calves, skinny legs, moles, freckles, crazy hair, hair in your chin and on and on.  Friend I want to encourage you as I have to for myself!  YOUR PHYSICAL FORM IS PERFECT FOR YOUR HUSBAND AS IS!  

We are ashamed because of the sin of comparison and dissatisfaction. The bible would call that coveting, murmuring, complaining and discontentment!  Ladies lets seek to be FREE! 

I won't pretend that some of us could be healthier.  Yes, if you feel unhealthy then do something about it.  But don't make everyone around you suffer because you are unhealthy and are not doing anything about it.  If you are the woman that is seeking and actively working on being healthier, great! Take it one day at a time and embrace the physical form you have now as you make the transition to a healthier you!

To the woman who says it is not me but my husband who is not satisfied:

Whether your husband fully understands this truth or not, it is none the less the truth.  If your husband is asking you to gain/lose weight, gain/lose breast, gain/lose butt, gain/lose muscle or whatever, your goal should be to pray that the Lord would help your husband to see the pure beauty (physical form and character) that you are.  Pray that God would cause his eyes only to be for you in every way. In the mean time give yourself unashamed before him.  That will change things in this area for both of you.

Assignment:

1. Stand naked before your husband three times this week!

2. Let him see you change your clothes.

3. Pray for his heart to seek you as his standard of beauty and none other.  

4. Pray for your heart to see yourself as a beautiful offering for your husband in every way!  

Being His Crown (FHM)

Yesterday I recieved a message from Nicole in my inbox.  It was a blessing to me.  I have been saying that I have all these thoughts that I can't seem to complete, then the Lord brings someone along who is in the same place as me and helps me along.  So I have posted the words below for you to read and enjoy.  I will comment about it then you can read it. 

The Lord is amazing in this regard as well.  Angie and I are working together on this Being his Crown series. Well, we hadn't even discussed a topic for today.  I sent her the message that was sent to me.  Then, I checked out her blog and her Being his Crown about this very topic.  I think this is where the Lord is desiring his daughters to be this day!  So enjoy.

Wives and Mothers need to take, make, create and or carve out time for themselves to just be!  I have found this school year that my life has drastically altered.  In that process I seldom take a break for just me!  Whether it be for me to just read the word, or pray, or take a walk around the neighborhood alone.  I like many women have felt that I could not do that because so many things and people need me.  To take a break would indicate leaving something undone.  I love my children and in the same breath I need time away from them.  This is something that pre-school and homeschooling moms need to really consider.  Your job is 24/7 and not many people will tell you to take a break...it is not often an option.  Here is what I realized though, if I don't take the break I will be less than the wife and mother I desire to be.  It is in me to love my husband, it is in me to nurture my children, but when I have nothing of me to give that is when it all goes bad. I go to the rock that is higher than I.

So I encourage each one of you to read this article and take the rest that you need in order to function in the beauty and joy of wife and mother.   

Taking "Mom Time" is not selfish... it's a part of your job!

"I feel guilty when I blow it with my kids and I feel guilty when I take time for myself. I just can't win!" lamented my friend sitting across from me at a local coffee shop. It was a mommy meltdown at its very best.

I reassured her. I've been there. We've all been there. We know we need to take some time to refill our emotional tank, but we feel guilty doing so because it often means doing something away from the family. But then the guilt keeps us from taking care of ourselves and we end up with no reserves when we're disciplining our kids and we blow it. It's a common cycle that most moms experience.

I ran that cycle for years until one day it hit me: taking care of myself is part of my job description as a mom! It's my responsibility. Nobody is going to do it for me. I have to learn to do it myself. Before I'm on empty. Before I'm at the end of my rope. Proactively...not reactively.

With Mother's Day around the corner, I'd like to make a suggestion. Let's each give ourselves a Mother's Day gift. This would be a life-giving gift to us and to our family. Let's commit to putting something in our schedule that fills us up: exercise, scrapbooking, one night out a week with a girlfriend, an hour at the library, a walk, prayer, reading the Bible, sitting on the porch with a cup of tea...whatever activity would fill your emotional fuel tank!

Yes, it will take some effort. Sometimes it will even feel like a hassle. But it's worth it! And it is needed on a regular basis. You and I can't give to our families out of emptiness...we need to give to our families out of the overflow of our heart! The only way a heart can overflow is if it's filled to the brim.

Jesus pulled away from the crowds to refuel. We can follow His example and do the same.

Keeping hearts at home,

Jill Savage

Wife of Mark

Mom to Anne, Evan, Erica, Kolya, and Austin (and Grandma in about 3 weeks!)

Click here for more on how to take the break you need to function with excellence as a wife and mother.

FHM Being His Crown Series!

The post you find below was written by my husband Phil.  I thought it was so amazing that I had to post it on my blog for the FHM "being his CROWN series".  The post below confirms the truth that you are the crown for your husband.  Without giving too much away: I want to encourage us as women to take physical pleasure in our own husbands.  Sex is not a duty you are required to fulfill, but rather a pleasurable gift from God that brings healing and health to both you and your husband.  So enjoy your man!  Allow yourself to be free and refreshed with sexual awakening with your husband. 

"Marriage that is intoxicating and exhilarating

Solomon, even with his many faults had great wisdom. In Proverbs 5:19, he speaks to his son and instructs him concerning his wife to…

Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;

be intoxicated always in her love (ESV)

Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;

be exhilarated always with her love (NASB)

3 observations

1. Sex is between husband and wife

The sexual relationship described by Solomon is shown as a fountain or cistern that is refreshing to the couple. This relationship was ordained by God and put in place at the creation of Adam and Eve. Within this context we can gain an understanding for the profound beauty of a man and woman sexually enjoying one another in the sight of God and reflecting what God did at the beginning where out of one flesh, God made woman. A husband and wife coming together is a sweet ripple in the waters of life that glorifies God. Out of that truth, husbands should rejoice in the knowledge that God provided them a sweet fountain called their wife, in which they can find refreshment and satisfaction.

2. Her body is your delight and satisfaction

The Scriptures point out the woman’s breast. Men it does not matter if your wife is an A cup, double D or experienced a mastectomy, God commands us to find pleasure in the breast of our wives. It is not a stretch either to say that God is commanding us to find pleasure in her neck, thighs, calves, and yes, the most private portion of her entire body. You are to have complete delight in the body of your wife. You are to be so satisfied in the body of your wife that the very thought of her should cause you to pick up your phones, get off of your computer and take hold what is most satisfying to your own body.

In the versions of ESV, KJV and NASB the phrase “at all times,” is used. Now the point is not that you are going to have sexual intercourse 24/7 but the emphasis is on the satisfaction and delight that is to be found in your wife. At all times she is to be your satisfaction and delight. At all times, the mind, body and soul of your helpmeet should lead you to find a complete joy in her alone.

3. Her love is highly influential

Finally, your wife’s love is to be highly influential. I included above, two different versions that explain how impactful the love of your wife is to have upon you. My favorite is the “intoxication,” version. How interesting it is that we are commanded not to be influenced by alcohol but be filled with the Spirit (Eph 5:18) and here we find that the love of our wife is to have a greater influence on us than wine. There is a sanctifying work that is present when we as men allow the love our wives to minister to us. So what is the application? Well instead of turning to the literal bottle for “healing,” turn to your wife who will pray for you and will be God’s tool to bring about your delight in her and ultimately Him.

Now if you are not comfortable with referring to your wife’s love as being intoxicating, how about being in a state of “exhilaration,” because of the love of your wife? This is a mood changer. This is the mood you get during March Madness or watching the Sprint Cup or the Super Bowl. God has given us wives which cause us to be in a state of elation, high spirits and happiness. This is huge because this causes us to graciously look beyond the “physical faults” of our wives and be exhilarated. I say physical faults because Solomon points out “breast and delight.” That means we cannot knock our women because she doesn’t look like Halle Berry, Jenna Jameson or some chick on the cover of Muscle Fitness. We have to be exhilarated in the woman that God created and gave to us. Remember, Adam was knocked out cold when God made Eve. He woke up and was so exhilarated to have a wife, he sang!

An Intoxicating and Exhilarating Gospel

Men remember that Jesus Christ found great delight and satisfaction in his wife, the Church, by dying and rising for her. He saw her sins, her physical deformities and cast his great love on the Church. Now there is a great pleasure between Christ and His Church that is intoxicating to some and exhilarating to others. This is the cause for us to love our wives because we have drunk from the river of Living Water and his influential love will overflow into our marriages. So ultimately your intoxication and exhilaration is because your name is written in heaven and because of that elation, your wife will be the blessed recipient of joy.

So take a moment men, refresh yourselves with the fountain of the Gospel and then find that wife of yours."

Being His Crown

It's Friday and we are happy about it!  Today's FHM Being His Crown is really a review.  We have covered a lot of topics and I don't want us to miss the opportunity to dig deep and understand our husbands and ourselves.  Angie and I are really wanting to know if these post are helping, encouraging and or challenging you ladies.  We are certainly being stretched everytime we post something because we either have to be practicing these truths or learning how to apply them along with you.  Any way just leave a comment letting us know you are reading even if you are not consistently posting.  Thanks we need encouragement too!  :)

Let's Review.....

The Beginning....

The heart of this ministry comes from Proverbs 12:4a "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband" and Proverbs 31:29 "Many have done excellently but you surpass them all". This whole effort is to help women embrace their identity in Christ and specifically concerning your husband.

The Assignment...

Ask your husband these 10 questions. Be your husbands crown not comparing yourself to other women.

1. What type of support do you need from me? Example does he need you to compliment, build his esteem, speak out more often, or brutal honestly.
2. What small or big thing could you do to make his day?
3. How often does he really want to have sex? You have to ask this question. I know most of you think his answer will be everyday all the time. However you many be surprised at the real answer.
4. How does he feel about the food you cook? It is too healthy for him, not healthy enough, is there something he would like to have every now and then?
5. Is the house clean enough? Does it matter to him if there are dishes in the sink overnight?
6. How about your appearance? Would he like you to wear makeup, high heels, flats, more or less jewelry?
7. Does he feel like you respect him, in public and private.
8. Does he feel like you trust him?
9. What is his favorite outfit of yours?
10. Does he need you to be more or less open and vulnerable?

The Flawed Crown....
How are we working through the flaws in our lives as we are "BEing his Crown"?

The Physical Crown....
Your image of you. Physically. How does that affect your relationship with your husband?

You can click on the title of any of the previous post to review the full story.  If you remember the post and just have not had an opportunity to respond now is the time sister!  We desire to grow in our relationship with our husbands and in Christ, your words may be what someone else needs to encourage them along their journey.  Let us know you are there by leaving a comment and encouraging another sister along the way! 

Being his Crown (Friday's Homemaker Moments)

Okay there is a change of plans.  Homemakers computer has an attitude so you get to talk to me today!  Are you happy?!  Well, anyway as I began to think this morning about the direction of this weeks "Being his Crown" I stumbled across this thought: .  I thought man that is pretty interesting.  We all have flaws but how are we able to still be a lovely beautiful crown atop our husbands head with a big o' flaw? 

Here is my thoughts some of us reading right now were previously married, some had many sex partners, some were told sex was bad and once it become good in marriage you were unable to come to grips with that reality beause your were told bad bad all your life.  Some of us have body image issues, others have guarded hearts because someone has hurt us emotionally, some of us are never satisfied, some of us refuse to submit because we think our husband is stupid, or just not as smart as we are.  Some of us carry poison in the form of a tongue and take every opportunity to spread it, some of us crush the very spirit of our husband with our attitudes, some of us are unwilling to love without perfect conditions, some of us abuse others out of a wounded heart, and some are trying so hard to again the approval of that one person all the while ignoring or dealing harshly with the ones whom God has sent that do approve.

That list felt long.  Well, it is long and could actually be longer.  But ladies that is what I am talking about, the flawed crown.  How are we working through the flaws in our lives as we are "BEing his Crown"?  You are still his crown dear sister, but let's face it we are not the perfect unstained crowns of glory! 

So my answer is a daily renewing.  I love my husband with all that I am but I admit to being flawed. I protect myself because I have been hurt,  it is hard for me to allow myself to be nurtured by him because he too is imperfect.  I had to come to grips with being raped and then allowing my body to be used by dudes in order that I would recieve "love".  All of that to then find I was never loved at all!  Remember, we are talking about a beautiful lovely flawed crown.  So how do I look in the mirror and present to my husband and ultimately the world this crowned beauty?  In Christ Alone!  I am not trying to be preachy but maybe I am.  I just want to offer hope to the woman who says Vine Woman or Homemaker Chronicle you seem to have it all together, but I am flawed.  No love we are all flawed!  Here is the amazing gift that I have recieved in Christ.  

All of my flaws, I MEAN ALL, Past, Present and Future flaws/sins have been addressed by Jesus Christ on the cross of Calvary.  The Vine Woman with the endless list of flaws is looked upon by God as a spotless, beaming light of radiance adorned atop of her husbands head!  Praise the Lord for such a wonderful gift in Christ.  The spiritual REALITY is that my crown is unstained, my daily concern is that I would walk in the natural this spiritual reality! To repeat that answer again it is a daily renewing in Christ.  I am constantly reminding myself of who God says I am because of Jesus Christ.  

Jude 1:24-25 says "Now to Him who is able to keep me from falling and present me faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, to the only wise God our Savior, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever. AMEN!

It is Christ who sustains my unspoted crown atop my husband's head! 

So link up and leave a comment.  How are you dealing with "The FLAW in your Crown"?