Friday, February 5, 2010

Being His Crown (Friday's Homemaker Moments)

The topic...Learning YOUR husband, so he can wear HIS CROWN (YOU) well!

It's Friday and I am holdin' it down for the "Being his Crown" FHM this week! I am thrilled to share this particular topic with you ladies. In my 12 years of marriage to Phil, I have realized that the type of woman my husband needs is very specific. It has taken years and years to fully understand (did I say fully? I meant gain a little understanding of) his needs as a man, husband, father, friend and co-laborer in the gospel of Christ.

In times past I struggled with comparing myself to others (especially Christian women). You know how we (Christian women) try to act like everything is perfect in our world because of Jesus all the while hurting and in need of one or two sisters to just say, "I hear you, I understand or you can make it through." Okay I feel like I am digressing!

My point is you are your husband's crown not mine. So the things that I do should be specific to my husbands needs. Have you ever done this?

Talked to a friend and they said, "I wake up at 5:00am have a quiet time with the Lord for one hour. After that I make a full breakfast for my husband and kids. Then as my husband leaves for work the kids and I stand at the door waving as he pulls out of the driveway because that is what he likes. It makes him feel important and significant." So, after this conversation you go home and wake up the next morning at 5:00am and attempt to recreate this woman’s morning. But the response from your husband is much different. Your husband does not like big breakfasts. As a result he overlooks your meal, gives quick kisses to everyone, hops in his car and drives off looking back at the whole family like you have all LOST your mind. Then you walk away feeling like the biggest unloved, unwanted LOSER!

Has that ever happened to you? Well, I have experienced something along those lines. I can recall thinking those are good things I should do them. I thought my husband would really respond favorably to this, only to find that he is in no way interested. This type of comparing hurts marriage. We need to take time to understand our own husband. I don't need to understand your man you don't need to understand mine. There is nothing wrong with the exchange of ideas and practical things, but at the end of the day we need to see what it is that pleases our OWN husband.

Our goal with FHM Being His Crown is that you would embrace the crown that you are for your husband. However, you can't fully do that if you don't know what kind of jewels he likes to wear. Remember, you are already a crown for your husband, but today we are going to decorate that crown just the way your man likes it.

You have an assignment....
Ask your husband these 10 questions.

1. What type of support do you need from me? Example does he need you to compliment, build his esteem, speak out more often, or brutal honestly.

2. What small or big thing could you do to make his day?

3. How often does he really want to have sex? You have to ask this question. I know most of you think his answer will be everyday all the time. However you many be surprised at the real answer.

4. How does he feel about the food you cook? It is too healthy for him, not healthy enough, is there something he would like to have every now and then?

5. Is the house clean enough? Does it matter to him if there are dishes in the sink overnight?

6. How about your appearance? Would he like you to wear makeup, high heels, flats, more or less jewelry?

7. Does he feel like you respect him, in public and private?

8. Does he feel like you trust him?

9. What is his favorite outfit of yours?

10. Does he need you to be more or less open and vulnerable?

What are your thoughts on this topic? Comment or share on your space using the MckLinky below. Or visit us in the Blog Frog Forum under Homemaker Chronicles.



Holly said...

Ok so I know this isn't really relevant but how do you make the picture link thingy work in a post? I got it for the sidebar....

Looking forward to these... now if I can just keep up with my blog!

Amy said...

I really enjoyed reading this Nicolle. I like the application questions. It is nice to know that I am made specifically for Stephen and I don't have to be anyone other than myself for him. I've just come to realize this from your and Angie's blogs.

Nicolle said...

Holly I saw that you got your picture link in your post and the side bar. I am glad you are enjoying them. Keep talking and join us for more discussion on the blogfrog.

Nicolle said...

Amy I am thankful that the Lord is using us to help. Jesus only knows how many women it took to help me gain a small amount of understanding!