Friday, May 29, 2009



So many things to share where do I begin....
How did I fulfill my role as wife, mother, and worshipper of the True and Living God?

As wife I took time to look outside myself an view a disagreement with my husband from an outsiders perspective. I spend a lot of time counselling, mentoring, and walking other women through struggles and joys in their life. What I have found is that an outside perspective is usually much clearer and more accurate because it is not based out of emotion or personal baggage. So that is what I applied to my own life. I was able to understand why I felt the way I did, but I needed to evaluate the way my husband was feeling and why. As women we often take the "he doesn't understand, or he doesn't care about me" route. When more than likely he understands what he needs to and he cares above what we think. I know for my husband in particular he looks at the BIG, LLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGG term picture. While I am pretty much the small (I want it now), and quickly picture. As a result I (with the power of the Holy Spirit) have and are choosing peace, and patience. I praise God for that....evidence of the work of Christ in my heart, mind, and soul.

As a mother I have decided to STOP NURSING MY CHILDREN! I have a 10, 8, and 7 year old. I cook all the food (most days), I clean all the rooms (most days), I wash all the laundry (most days), I clean my own car...van actually, and on occasion I do the yard work. Now as I read scripture there was a King who was 8! As I look at other countries kids are holding it down in labor. When I went to Tanzania, Africa there were children younger then mine carrying the five gallon bucket of water on their head. Now why are they able to do this and not mine? Oh, it is because of expectation. These children are expected to help in their fact they have to. While I work to the bone and allow my children all kinds of freedom and privilege. This week I have STOPPED NURSING MY CHILDREN! Have you seen a woman breastfeeding a 4, 5, or even 6 year old? Trust me it happens and is completely ridiculous. There is some twisted fulfillment the mother gets out of that because there is not real need for the children to breastfeed at those ages. So it is with me. What twisted fulfillment am I getting out of nursing my children in regards to laboring around the home? Maybe the thought of I am really doing this, or some appreciation from them or others that I am freeing you and I will be SUPER CHRISTIAN MOMMA....who takes care of home, husband, and children. The thought of my husband and children not have to lift a finger around my house. Those thoughts are sinful, prideful, and arrogant. The reality is I do need them to help. Not just for me but to help them capable functioning adults, and children who are respectful and grateful, and know how to take care of things. I gave assignments, instructions, and I stepped back to watch. We also added this....You how when Jesus was on the cross and He cried out "It is finished", well that is a statement of a servant returning to the master that the job is complete. We talked about that and I explained that they need to follow Christ example and let me know when the job is done.

As a worshipper of the Most High God I really spent time seeking the Lord and being thankful for Christ on the cross! Christ was mangled for me! Christ took on my sin! Christ is in all ways wonderful. Words fail to express how thankful I am to God who revealed Himself through Jesus Christ. I Love HIM!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Homemaker Moments

This homemaker moment is different from the others in the sense that my focus is not on how I was able to fulfill my role but how other mothers are fulfilling their role and beyond!

This week I experienced a very long birth. This month alone I assisted with three births two of them were scheduled for other months. Anyway, all that to say I am so grateful to God for allowing women to be all they need to be in their home and still have enough to bless someone else.

Here is my shout out! To HaleHole3, thanks for bringing cooked lasagna, and strawberry cake to my house, after a midweek birth. To the J.W., thanks for picking up my kids and hanging with them after school for a few hours. To Servingthesaints, thanks for teaching my kids to make strawberry preserves and praying for me during a difficult labor. Finally to my Homemaker Chronicle, thanks for holding it down in prayer, dinners, and sanity contacts!

I would be remiss if I did not give it up to the super duper woman, Impressions that Last! This is my mother who lives next door and is always there. Thanks for taking care of my family from the "sun up to sun down Saturday birth". I couldn't stop laughing as my mother reported, "your family has been at my house all day they don't know what to do without you." I left the house for this birth at 6:00am and returned at 10:00p.m or so. As I was driving home and talking to my mother, thinking they had gone home by now (surely)....No they were still next door at her house hanging, eating her food, watching her television, and whatever else they needed. This was not the first and won't be the last time I am certain of that fact!So again thank you momma!

Homemakers all over the world this goes out to you! You spend many days and nights building your home, your husband, and your children. Most times this includes a to do list that is out of this world. Yet, some how it all gets done, or at least the most important of those things gets done. I love you sister in the Lord and I know without a doubt that our Father in Heaven loves you even more than I ever could! Continue to walk in the grace afforded to you by our GREAT GOD AND KING! Serve well and strive for excellence in all you say and do, making sure that above all else He is satisfied with your act of service to HIM!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Almost there!

Just wanted to give an update on my doula business. I am proud to report that by God's grace I have assisted 5 women in giving birth since February. I count it a privilege and an honor to help these women achieve their birthing goals. This morning was my longest labor yet. This momma was a 2x C-section, who strongly desired to have a vaginal birth. We went to the hospital prepared to refuse C-section if there was no damage to momma or baby. No doctor in our area would approve her doing a vbac (vaginal birth after cesearan)after two cesearans, so this was an intense situation. Then to top it off we were at a hospital whose cesearan rate is 60% way above the allowed national average. Through the prayers of many believers, and almost 24 hours of labor this momma had her vbac. All is well with momma and baby! Praise the Lord for He had done marvelous things.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Your steps are still ordered by God!

Okay so is God ordering our steps or what? On Tuesday of this week I dropped off the kids at school. Well as I about the drive away "Mr. Hustler's girl" honked at me. Let's call her X for the purpose of the blog. Anyway I thought she was just going to say hi. She pulled over and we talked in the school parking lot for at least an hour. Then we went to my house and talked for about another 40 minutes. Then she was hungry and wanted to take me to McDonald's and have breakfast and talk some more! Just saying hi turned into a 3 hour ministry opportunity. God is awesome. He is faithful in all things. I am grateful that the Lord orders our steps in His perfect will not according to us but according to our schedule.

The Lord graced me to share the gospel and about imputed righteousness. That we are all sinners and by the grace of God in Christ Jesus he ordains some to walking in righteousness given them by Jesus Christ! It was fun and fabulous! n She was totally open with me and by open I mean OPEN! So again I am very grateful that the Lord would see fit to grace me to carry his word to another. Please pray for X.

Saturday, May 9, 2009


Friday night Phil and I were going on a date to see a movie. This was a time we were both looking forward to. It was "our time", and we both needed it. Let's set the stage. Phil came home from work hung with the kids for a while. While playing with the kids he asked me which movie theatre were we going to? I wasn't very sure, so he asked me to look it up. While he was in the shower I told him I remember which theater, because I saw it earlier that day. So we travelled to movie theater that I remembered seeing the sign at. Okay it was the wrong one. There are only two theaters in Conway so it wasn't a big deal to go to the next one.

Remember how I said your steps are ordered. Well, as we were on our way to the other theater we saw a man walking. This man looked just like a man who lived in the trailer park about a year ago. His name is Rusty and he was married to a woman named Julie. They had a child while living in the trailer park, we had a showering of gifts for the baby. This couple was one of the first we actually invested in at Oakwood. To give a little more history, I would often go to their home and help with the baby and Phil would spend lots of time with Rusty. Then one day they just moved out of the state. They had talked about it but did not give notice or anything. We were surprised and of course sad because we did not feel the work was complete. Now you are up to speed.

We see this guy who looks just like Rusty. Phil looks at me and says do you want me to call him and see? I said yes. Then Phil cautions me, if I call him we need to commit to whatever happens after that. Reminding me of the fact that we are on a date and I can't complain if we move in a totally different direction. I thought for a second and I was really happy to see if this was him and meet his need. Phil yells out from the car. He responds. It was Rusty! So we turn around and pick him up. He looks us over and calls Phil's name. He then gets in the car. He was on his way to his mother's house. He had just arrived in Conway about 10 minutes ago. He had been travelling for two weeks from Louisiana (by bus, foot, and car etc..). So I began to ask him about his life and where is Julie. He then proceeds to tell us they are divorced. She tried to microwave the baby!?!?! He tried to kill her?!?!?! They lost custody of the baby girl and she is with a good family in Arizona. He goes on to tell us how the Lord has been good to him even though he did not deserve it at all. He told us the God finally delivered him from drugs and alcohol. Now I want you to clearly understand these were the words coming from his mouth...not us! There was a look of sheer horror on my face mixed with an odd delight. God was working in his life amidst ALL KINDS OF CRAZY!

We then arrive at his mother's trailer. Yes I said trailer! We found a whole new trailer park that we had not even known existed. Rusty explained that this park is full of displaced Katrina victims. This park is different in some ways from Oakwood in that there are tons more people. It seemed like every trailer had two or three cars in front and families living in groups. Rusty's mother had three young boys in her trailer. After we dropped Rusty off and exchanged phone numbers, we took a trip around the park. Many of the people were living in campers, trailers, or whatever. It was certainly the Lord who lead us in this direction. Rusty was excited to reconnect and we are too.

So we were able to take care of Rusty, locate more "souls" to hear the gospel of Christ, and get to the movies on time. All in all we had a wonderful time!

Again our steps are ordered by GOD! This is the second person the Lord has brought back that we may continue to serve. I am very excited about what the Lord is doing and going to complete.

Friday, May 8, 2009


It has been weeks since I have posted a homemaker moment. So with great joy and excitement I am searching for a moment to share with you. oh I remember a very cool moment! Here goes....

It was one Sunday night we were just hang out in our bedroom with the kids. I had a talk with my daughter about puberty earlier that day. It was awesome, she was very receptive to the conversation. I have to set this up in order for you to understand the family dynamic. In instructing my daughter about the days ahead (specifically menstrual cycle) we needed create a training drill. This was learned by all the drills and field time from the military. Holla, if you know what I am talking about (military wives). I gave her a pad and showed her how to use it. We actually put it on and let her wear it around and I would later teach her how to discard. Discarding is a very important step, please instruct your girl carefully!

Now to the family conversation.

Have you ever wondered what your children are actually learning from you? Well, I have. That night we asked them what they see in us.

My question was from three specific marriages whose would you like yours to be like and why? Our son was the first to answer. He said, "Yours because there is lots of affection." Then my oldest daughter chimed in with the same response. Our youngest daughter said, "Yours because I see lots of respect." Can you say WOW! I was relieved, thankful, blessed and amazed! I mean you want your children to get the message you are instilling, but you don't really know if they are getting it. So it was awesome to hear them articulate in their own words.

"We ask what nice or mean things do you hear dad say about mom, and vice versa?" Our son, first responder once again, states "Dad is always saying that I have the hottest wife and that moms a fox and stuff." The youngest states, "Dad calls you his queen." Of course that was what both girls identified with. Najee' is striving to overthrow me by calling herself a queen or at least one in training. Nichelle, however fully understands that she doesn't get the title queen until we find the king God created her for. What does mom say nice about dad? The room went silent! :0 Nichelle goes into how mom is always doing something nice, like cooking, cleaning, helping with homework, grocery shopping, going to the school, giving birth with people and taking care of everyone.

It was funny how she hit the nail right on the head. In regards to my family I am all about getting the job done. Clearly that has shown up as well. I have been seeking the Lord about opening my mouth with praise more often towards my husband and my children. I don't desire them to be only workers.

Anyway, then we start talking about what they would like to be and or do as adults. Nicollus says, "I want to preach the gospel in a mobile home like dad." Then all of a sudden my daughter walks out of our bathroom and announces that she took off her pad and put on a new one! Phil looks at me and I look at him. Then he says, "You forgot a few details!" In that moment I realize she is using material that I will actually need! "Hold up little sister! First you don't announce your business, second you don't get to keep putting on new pads because I will need them." I responded. With a look of sorrow she says, "okay". However that was just after she put her finger over her mouth and said, "shhhhhhh" to everyone in the room as a sign of privacy.

If that was not funny enough, we continue talking. Nicollus starts preaching a sermon about how the man has to work to provide for his family. The wife and children get to enjoy the benefits of the mans labor. Then it goes on and on. I am praying now for the mobile park my son leads...they are in for some long winded sermons!

All that to say, by the grace of God we are doing our job as parents. I can't boast in anything but Christ. He is working all these things in us as well as our children. I know the homemaker moments are to "brag on yourself" but in this case I really can't. It is by God's grace ALONE that all this is taking place. I am sure we all understand that as we post our homemaker moments but I thought I'd make that statement in the event someone thought this was my or Phil's wonderful parenting.

I hope this encourages you as moms and even dads to seek the wisdom of God in all things. Remember those little people that live in your home are watching and absorbing everything. Pray they absorb Christ in the end!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Question and Answer Series

There are many things we run into ministering in the City of Hope. So this is an opportunity for us to discuss somethings that we deal with. Much of this comes from people in "Christiandom" always arguing church form and function, theology and the like. However you are not going to have those conversations when your feet are on the ground runnin!

This question was the very first late night call I received....What would you say to this?
This woman and her children had been faithfully coming to the worship service we held in the park on Sunday afternoon. She claimed to be a christian. And this was the phone call. My husband whom I love asked me to have sex in front of him with another guy who lives in the trailer park. I did. In fact I have done that several times. But now he is calling me a hoe and a slut. I only did it because he liked it and took pleasure from it. I really did not think anything was wrong with it, because he liked it so much. I think he was really drunk this time and he hit me and walked out. He is also questioning if the children are his. I don't know what to do. Can you help me?

What would you do and or say?

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


Hey all! Last night we had dinner with Mr. Hustler, his momma boo, and his two children. It was a wonderful time. We listened and learned. We taught and educated! We encouraged in Christ and opened our home. The kids all played together very well. I was concerned about the dinner (as shallow as that seems). This a family who normally eats soul food. I don't cook soul food very often. My plan was for my mother to cook it but she was unavailable. So we had normal Fletcher food which they all enjoyed. The silly things we get stuck on?

We talked a lot about the depth of hurt each one has felt and is presently feeling. Boy oh, boy was it deep. Would you pray for salvation and deliverance for this family. That God would radically transform their lives into His image! Mr. Hustler is very intelligent and would be a mighty warrior for the Kingdom of Christ! Again please pray.

Also the other family that actually asked for us to counsel them. Has moved away! I talked to them on Friday of last week and they had moved out of the park to some city far away. I am happy to report they received what they were really looking for. I pray that the Lord would bring another to proclaim the good news of Christ to them right where they are.