A Special Note for Parents

Okay so I have been teaching my children to help in managing the home this summer and that has helped us to enjoy many other pleasures. Here is one of my first huge mistakes.

I told my daughters to get all their underclothes together (underwear, socks, t-shirts and wash one load of clothes with those items. They needed to make sure they washed it, dried them, folded them and finally put them away.

I told Nicollus to gather all the towels from everyone laundry basket throughout the house and wash one load of towels. Well, later when I went to check the wash after the girls had moved their things, I saw the load my son did.

The washing machine was full full full full of all the towel from every laundry basket in the house! When I told him what to do I did not mean for him to wash every towel in one load. I just wanted him to be responsible to wash one load of towels from the pile he gathered.

I opened the washing machine and his load of towels was complete however they were soaking wet and full. You how laundry looks after the rinse cycle? They are completely rung out. These were completely soaking wet because they could not get rung out. I ran the spin cycle two more times to drain the water.

My heart broke looking at the washing machine attempt to high spin 100lbs of wet towels! Anyway all is well. The washing machine is still working. The clothes are clean. I understand I must be more detailed when I give instructions. My son understands that you can't put all the dirty towels in one wash. Funny Fletcher story from this week!

The cure for arguing in kids!

People I have found the cure for arguing if you have more than one child.

Here is the stage...

We just returned from the gym. The kids were looking forward the next activity. It was water week at the gym and we did not know it so the kids did not wear swim suits thus they did not want to get wet. All that to say, they went to the gym to sit on their butts while I experienced burning pain and sweat. :) Anyway, we were home and the girls were fighting and Nicollus was stirring to pick a fight of some sort. I was basically not going to have it.

So I sent Nicollus to mow the yard, and the girls to wash my van. LOVELY Problem solved. They needed something to keep their hearts and hands busy. Nicollus came in drenched in his own sweat. I also received a text from the neighbor who wants to hire Nicollus to mow her yard as well! SWEET!

The girls were very focused and worked well together while washing the car. The reason for arguing is often boredom and the solution is directed activity. While I do realize the importance of a child's ability to self entertain and manage their own behavior at a particular age...it is also important for us to "get in front of" negative behaviors. That means don't wait until your children are failing apart to do something with them...PREPARE for them. We need to be PRO ACTIVE with our children and not reactive. While I was certainly reactive in the situation above. I have since learned to "get in front of" potential negative behaviors.

FAMILY CAMP 2009

Finally, I have something to say and time to write about it! This weekend we went to Covington Tennessee to visit my husbands family. We had a wonderful time together. It was wonderful to see three generations all together. I'll post pictures at the end so keep reading. Anyway as we were driving down we began to think on family activities from last year. It was at this very same time last year we went to Voddie Bachaham's family camp. So we pulled out the blackberry did a google search and found....they are doing another one! This year it will be in St Louis, last year it was in Corpus Christi, TX. We were so excited to know that we have not missed it. Dates are July 31-Aug3. Click the title to get all the information.

So here is my family camp promotion.....

We loved it! We loved it! We Loved It! Why because there were so many families who understood the importance of family. We as believers are called to change the world by the lives we live. The first step in doing so is our family. Husbands must be strong leaders of their homes. By strong I mean making every effort to lead in the word of God. "Going to Church" should not be the first and only time your family is instructed in the word of God. Fellowship with other believers should support what is already happening in your home. When you serve others your family should serve with you. If your not in that season of life then slow down and work on your family and in due time the Lord will allow to go out and change the world for His glory and His fame!

Family Camp is exactly what it says. We camp as a family. We don't send the kids away to kiddie camp while the adults get a break and others teach the kids. It is our responsibility to train and disciple our own children. Imagine if all believers had that same mindset. Our world would look different...the Hebrew children certainly understood the law. Why did that happen because of this verse right here.....Hear O Israel: The Lord our God the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command to you shall be unpon your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. Deuteronomy 6:4-7. Let's be found teaching our families the way of the Lord...not handing that great job to someone else.

Go to family camp 2009 and learn how to do this yourself!


Najee' teaching Nicollus to pose like the kids in WalMart magazines.

Nicollus doing his Walmart pose!

Three generations of Fletcher men! Phillip Nicollus, Phillip Demond, and Phillip Lee Fletcher



Attempt number 1!

Attempt number 2!

Nicolle and Phil finally getting our photo together!

Summer Time

Just wanted to write about how we are thoroughly enjoying the summer. We go to the gym, hang out with friends, clean house, clean yard (well not yet), swim, serve and minister....it's totally awesome!

I have to say this would not be such a wonderful summer if I were still nursing! Why you ask? This is why....
We can fold three loads of laundry, put them away, unload the dishwasher and reload it, sweep the kitchen floor, wipe the table and counters, vacuum the floors and clean a bathroom in 30 to 45 minutes all by working together! I love it! I am not sure what took me so long to see I have help in the house all the time!

Just a word of encouragement ladies.............

EMPLOY YOUR CHILDREN TO WORK ALONGSIDE YOU! You will both benefit greatly in the long run. Don't make the mistake of thinking, "I could do it better by myself." In the end you and the kids will suffer from not being able to spend much time together..... because you have to do it all. Hint hint...you can't do it ALL! Let me rephrase that.... you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. In Christ, strength is wisdom and for home maintenance wisdom would say allow your children to help!

HOMEMAKER MOMENTS!!!!

visit: http://www.homemakerchronicles.com


So many things to share where do I begin....
How did I fulfill my role as wife, mother, and worshipper of the True and Living God?

As wife I took time to look outside myself an view a disagreement with my husband from an outsiders perspective. I spend a lot of time counselling, mentoring, and walking other women through struggles and joys in their life. What I have found is that an outside perspective is usually much clearer and more accurate because it is not based out of emotion or personal baggage. So that is what I applied to my own life. I was able to understand why I felt the way I did, but I needed to evaluate the way my husband was feeling and why. As women we often take the "he doesn't understand, or he doesn't care about me" route. When more than likely he understands what he needs to and he cares above what we think. I know for my husband in particular he looks at the BIG, LLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGG term picture. While I am pretty much the small (I want it now), and quickly picture. As a result I (with the power of the Holy Spirit) have and are choosing peace, and patience. I praise God for that....evidence of the work of Christ in my heart, mind, and soul.

As a mother I have decided to STOP NURSING MY CHILDREN! I have a 10, 8, and 7 year old. I cook all the food (most days), I clean all the rooms (most days), I wash all the laundry (most days), I clean my own car...van actually, and on occasion I do the yard work. Now as I read scripture there was a King who was 8! As I look at other countries kids are holding it down in labor. When I went to Tanzania, Africa there were children younger then mine carrying the five gallon bucket of water on their head. Now why are they able to do this and not mine? Oh, it is because of expectation. These children are expected to help in their home...in fact they have to. While I work to the bone and allow my children all kinds of freedom and privilege. This week I have STOPPED NURSING MY CHILDREN! Have you seen a woman breastfeeding a 4, 5, or even 6 year old? Trust me it happens and is completely ridiculous. There is some twisted fulfillment the mother gets out of that because there is not real need for the children to breastfeed at those ages. So it is with me. What twisted fulfillment am I getting out of nursing my children in regards to laboring around the home? Maybe the thought of I am really doing this, or some appreciation from them or others that I am freeing you and I will be SUPER CHRISTIAN MOMMA....who takes care of home, husband, and children. The thought of my husband and children not have to lift a finger around my house. Those thoughts are sinful, prideful, and arrogant. The reality is I do need them to help. Not just for me but to help them capable functioning adults, and children who are respectful and grateful, and know how to take care of things. I gave assignments, instructions, and I stepped back to watch. We also added this....You how when Jesus was on the cross and He cried out "It is finished", well that is a statement of a servant returning to the master that the job is complete. We talked about that and I explained that they need to follow Christ example and let me know when the job is done.

As a worshipper of the Most High God I really spent time seeking the Lord and being thankful for Christ on the cross! Christ was mangled for me! Christ took on my sin! Christ is in all ways wonderful. Words fail to express how thankful I am to God who revealed Himself through Jesus Christ. I Love HIM!

WALKING THROUGH OPEN DOORS AND THANKFUL FOR THE CLOSED DOOR!

Hey all! Last night we had dinner with Mr. Hustler, his momma boo, and his two children. It was a wonderful time. We listened and learned. We taught and educated! We encouraged in Christ and opened our home. The kids all played together very well. I was concerned about the dinner (as shallow as that seems). This a family who normally eats soul food. I don't cook soul food very often. My plan was for my mother to cook it but she was unavailable. So we had normal Fletcher food which they all enjoyed. The silly things we get stuck on?

We talked a lot about the depth of hurt each one has felt and is presently feeling. Boy oh, boy was it deep. Would you pray for salvation and deliverance for this family. That God would radically transform their lives into His image! Mr. Hustler is very intelligent and would be a mighty warrior for the Kingdom of Christ! Again please pray.


Also the other family that actually asked for us to counsel them. Has moved away! I talked to them on Friday of last week and they had moved out of the park to some city far away. I am happy to report they received what they were really looking for. I pray that the Lord would bring another to proclaim the good news of Christ to them right where they are.

Blessings!

HOMEMAKER MOMENTS!

It's Friday...time for the homemaker moments. Ladies don't forget to share your moments with others. I find it very encouraging to read how the Lord is working in your life to build your home. Lots of ideas come from these moments. You can click on title to go to Angie's blog the originator of Homemaker Moments!

Here are my moments...
This week was rough because I had to work through some really hard things with my children. Okay moms let be honest. You know how, we understand that our children are foolish, sinful, and will do things wrong in our mind. But in our heart we feel they can do no wrong? There was a situation an old one but I just found out about it. My kid was the rotten child. And I found out in front of another adult. Oh, how my heart sank to the ground! My child foolish...couldn't be...but it was! I was thankful that my child told the truth even with the knowlegde of consiquences. We have taught our children that we don't expect them to be perfect and we know from the starting block they will get it wrong. That is fine, but we encourage them to run to Jesus! Repent, Believe, and turn from sin then fall at the feet of Jesus. So here it was...the rubber hitting the road. Can I in this frustrating and disappointing moment display what we have taught?

Praise God! He gave me the strength to be firm, discipline, instruct, forgive, and love. I took that child to Christ. It was awesome at the end. Note, I said at the end, because getting to the end was really rough. My child said to me Christ is the only thing good in me. I thought okay you are on to something! Then I went on to share that you are correct. At the same time those who the Holy Spirit of God dwells in are made righteous and good. Child, you will error and fall short of God's glory daily. He knows that and choose you anyway. It is He who is perfect and He dwells in you, so rejoice and receive the forgiveness of God. Don't bind yourself with a bondage that was not given to you by God. This is how I talk to my kids. If they don't understand they will tell me but more often then not they get it. So the short version is that there was peace and restoration. My pride was crushed and that was a good thing.

On another note...
My daughters started a business with a friend. The daughter of Angie (homemaker chronicle lady). They are so excited and I am too. We have talked about all kinds of wonderful things. This was an awesome intro to home school for me. With this one concept we are able to cover math, economics, design, writing, advertising...the list goes on. We will showcase their work on the blog soon. They have decided to give 5% of their profit to help child in need of educational supplies. They came up with their own percentages and organization to give to. I thought it was wonderful. They are being responsible with finances. They report to one another their income and calculate the % and proper distribution. We have really spent quality time getting this off the ground. So get ready to order from Glamour Glare Jewels by NRN Jewelers. There work is awesome!

Finally...
My husband I are working on hard core open honest communication. Oh buddy! It is hard but we have greatly benefited from it. You know when you and your husband are discussing an issue and you both conclude the conversation but it isn't truly finished. We are going beyond that point. I mean really seeing the heart of matters..whether it be pride, selfishness, or misunderstnading. God is loving us through this process and again we are better for it!

Praise the Lord for His work in my home this week!

The Heart of My Son!

Angie's Page http://www.homemakerchronicles.com/blog/


I am so thankful to be able to share this homemaker moment. I had the opportunity to hear the heart of my son. He was accused of physically hurting another child. As soon as my child's name was mentioned in relation to hurting another child Dad when off! I have found myself doing the exact same thing on other occasions. Mainly because we don't expect our children (son in particular) to respond in seemingly harsh ways.

Long story short, after all was said and done I went in to talk to our son. I simply told him to tell me what happened. He really did not get a chance to do that before. So reluctantly he did. After explaining I understood why it happened. Then I said what else is going on. He slowly poured his heart out. I am so thankful! It was wonderful to actually listen to his heart and understand where he is. We need to make more room for times like these.

As parents we are often "the mouth" and seldom "the ear". I would encourage all to listen to the heart of your child. To actually close your mouth and open your ear. You may hear Christ speak in your ear through the mouth of your child!