Friday, April 2, 2010

FHM Being His Crown Series!

The post you find below was written by my husband Phil.  I thought it was so amazing that I had to post it on my blog for the FHM "being his CROWN series".  The post below confirms the truth that you are the crown for your husband.  Without giving too much away: I want to encourage us as women to take physical pleasure in our own husbands.  Sex is not a duty you are required to fulfill, but rather a pleasurable gift from God that brings healing and health to both you and your husband.  So enjoy your man!  Allow yourself to be free and refreshed with sexual awakening with your husband. 

"Marriage that is intoxicating and exhilarating

Solomon, even with his many faults had great wisdom. In Proverbs 5:19, he speaks to his son and instructs him concerning his wife to…

Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love (ESV)

Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
be exhilarated always with her love (NASB)

3 observations

1. Sex is between husband and wife
The sexual relationship described by Solomon is shown as a fountain or cistern that is refreshing to the couple. This relationship was ordained by God and put in place at the creation of Adam and Eve. Within this context we can gain an understanding for the profound beauty of a man and woman sexually enjoying one another in the sight of God and reflecting what God did at the beginning where out of one flesh, God made woman. A husband and wife coming together is a sweet ripple in the waters of life that glorifies God. Out of that truth, husbands should rejoice in the knowledge that God provided them a sweet fountain called their wife, in which they can find refreshment and satisfaction.

2. Her body is your delight and satisfaction
The Scriptures point out the woman’s breast. Men it does not matter if your wife is an A cup, double D or experienced a mastectomy, God commands us to find pleasure in the breast of our wives. It is not a stretch either to say that God is commanding us to find pleasure in her neck, thighs, calves, and yes, the most private portion of her entire body. You are to have complete delight in the body of your wife. You are to be so satisfied in the body of your wife that the very thought of her should cause you to pick up your phones, get off of your computer and take hold what is most satisfying to your own body.

In the versions of ESV, KJV and NASB the phrase “at all times,” is used. Now the point is not that you are going to have sexual intercourse 24/7 but the emphasis is on the satisfaction and delight that is to be found in your wife. At all times she is to be your satisfaction and delight. At all times, the mind, body and soul of your helpmeet should lead you to find a complete joy in her alone.

3. Her love is highly influential
Finally, your wife’s love is to be highly influential. I included above, two different versions that explain how impactful the love of your wife is to have upon you. My favorite is the “intoxication,” version. How interesting it is that we are commanded not to be influenced by alcohol but be filled with the Spirit (Eph 5:18) and here we find that the love of our wife is to have a greater influence on us than wine. There is a sanctifying work that is present when we as men allow the love our wives to minister to us. So what is the application? Well instead of turning to the literal bottle for “healing,” turn to your wife who will pray for you and will be God’s tool to bring about your delight in her and ultimately Him.

Now if you are not comfortable with referring to your wife’s love as being intoxicating, how about being in a state of “exhilaration,” because of the love of your wife? This is a mood changer. This is the mood you get during March Madness or watching the Sprint Cup or the Super Bowl. God has given us wives which cause us to be in a state of elation, high spirits and happiness. This is huge because this causes us to graciously look beyond the “physical faults” of our wives and be exhilarated. I say physical faults because Solomon points out “breast and delight.” That means we cannot knock our women because she doesn’t look like Halle Berry, Jenna Jameson or some chick on the cover of Muscle Fitness. We have to be exhilarated in the woman that God created and gave to us. Remember, Adam was knocked out cold when God made Eve. He woke up and was so exhilarated to have a wife, he sang!

An Intoxicating and Exhilarating Gospel

Men remember that Jesus Christ found great delight and satisfaction in his wife, the Church, by dying and rising for her. He saw her sins, her physical deformities and cast his great love on the Church. Now there is a great pleasure between Christ and His Church that is intoxicating to some and exhilarating to others. This is the cause for us to love our wives because we have drunk from the river of Living Water and his influential love will overflow into our marriages. So ultimately your intoxication and exhilaration is because your name is written in heaven and because of that elation, your wife will be the blessed recipient of joy.

So take a moment men, refresh yourselves with the fountain of the Gospel and then find that wife of yours."


Anonymous said...

The reality in marriage for many is far from the imagery described here, beautiful as it is in its description,and many woman think that sex is dirty and just a necessary duty in order to have children.How i wish that wasnt so.

Nicolle said...

Anonymous I hear you but I think we as women need to take the time to seek the scriptures for our reality. I am not saying it is easy nor am I communicating that I have never looked at sex with the dirty thoughts or even the duty thoughts. We have to be real, but I think we need to seek to walk out the imagery of scripture because that is the beauty of the gift itself. Duties are things that need to be done, often there is no pleasure in duty. I just think we need to come at sex with our husbands from a different angle!

We have got to stop believing the lies of this culture and see what Christ says. I am totally preaching to myself and anyone else who needs this type of encouragement. Let go of our fears and be free to live and love as God has ordained!

I think that is enough of a tangent for now! :)

Thanks for commenting Anonymous!

Holly said...

Thanks Phil....I'll have to see if I can get Tim to read this! Somehow I don't think it will be a prob ;)...

PWOC is doing Intimate Issues this semester and while I'm not in the class I love the book because it encourages us as wives to look at sex from a Godly perspective. I know the times I have prayed over and during our lovemaking it's made a big difference! Whoo hoo! :)I do think though it's all to easy for men in our culture to be easily distracted by the "perfect" women (airbrushed) on tv or magazines or even those women who have lots of agumentation done and then transfer that image to their wives. Thanks for the gentle rebuke and reminder for them Phil!


Holly said...

ps... sorry about the but at the end of my comment, weird computer.

A wise woman told me once that sometimes you just have to give yourself to your husband even if you don't feel like it (duty per se). In those times putting on prettys, perfume and prayer helps tremendously -- as in Lord give me a desire for my husband!