Thursday, November 6, 2008

Personal Journey

To love someone who won't love you...

This man should have loved me.
This man should have viewed me as the joy of his life.
This man should have taken me for long walks in the park.
This man should have protected me from the man that raped me.
This man should have acknowledged that I belonged to him.
This man should have taught me to look both ways before I cross the street.

Where this man failed....

This woman will succeed.
This woman will love that man, even if he won't love back.
This woman will live a life to display the love of God to that man.
This woman will forgive that man.
This woman will die to herself and honor that man.
This woman will pray for that man.
This woman will speak of the ONE MAN who can save that man.

This is my journey. It is not a secret that I did not have a relationship with my birth father. However the Lord is using me to develop a relationship with the goal of sharing Christ with him. This has been a struggle. Somethings have changed in him but mostly in me. God purposed and planned my live. The one who I have been the most hurt and rejected by is the very one who needs me (well He who dwells in me) more than ever. So I purpose to look beyond my hurt and see the need. The need is for the Savior! My birth father needs Christ and I will succeed in presenting the gospel to him, in love with a pure and sincere heart. I no longer desire for God to get him..but that God would grant him repentance and receive him as the child he was unable to receive me as.

5 comments:

Kathy said...

Wow! I like your attitude. PTL !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Steven Owen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cheryl S. said...

Nicolle,

Beautiful post. There are many women out there who carry hurts from a relationship with their father.

It amazing how the more we understand the heavenly Father's character, the more we can forgive our earthly fathers. The more we understand what we have been forgiven of, the more we can forgive others. The more we accept Grace, the more we want others to find it.

God bless you on this journey with your father.

Steven Owen said...

Nicolle, I wanted not just say Amen!!!!!!! But glory to God who is our Father in heaven as He has adopted us. And He never disappoints.
Steven

angela aka mrs. maverick said...

wow, nicolle,
this post was deep. oh my sister, my heart ached for you when i read this. i have a similar story but it was my mother who hurt me when she abandoned me emotionally. because of Christ i have forgiven her and felt abundant compassion for her. i shared the love of God with her and prayed with her to receive Christ before she died. God healed my hurts and i will pray along with you that He continue to sustain you through this journey.

blessings & peace 2 u.
angela