Memorial Day!

Memorial Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the last Monday of May. Formerly known as Decoration Day, it commemorates U.S. men and women who died while in the military service. First enacted to honor Union soldiers of the American Civil War (it is celebrated near the day of reunification after the Civil War), it was expanded after World War I.

Here is a video and song for you to be still and reflect on your freedom today!  You have heard it time and time again FREEDOM IS NOT FREE!  Salvation is not free!  Christ PAID for your salvation! 

Please remember MEN AND WOMEN ARE PAYING FOR YOUR FREEDOM EVERYDAY!

I want to say thank you to the men and women that serve this country!

I want to say thank you for the wives and husbands who scarifice every day for our freedom. 

Thank you for enduring long nights away from home.  The repeat tours overseas.  The years you miss of the lives of those you love the most.  The moms thank you for being strong!  Thank you for building community around women and men that are waiting at home.  Thank you for praying.  Thank you for being strong when your spouse is not the same upon their return home.  Thank you for loving them.  Thank you for writing letters and sending care packages.  Thank you for your leadership! 

THANK YOU FOR BEING WILLING TO GIVE YOUR LIFE FOR SOMETHING GREATER THAN YOURSELF! 

THANK YOU MILITARY FAMILY FOR ALWAYS SUPPORTING EVEN IN THE MOST DIFFICULT SITUATIONS.

PRAISE THE LORD FOR MEN AND WOMEN WHO LOST THEIR LIFE IN BATTLE.  IT IS BECAUSE OF THEIR SCARIFICE THAT WE CAN BE FREE TODAY!

TO OUR SOLDIERS AND THEIR FAMILY I SAY THANK YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS!

 

Please comment on this post and thank or remember a soldier by writing their name and if you would like add a special note about them.


To my husband (former) Captain Phillip Fletcher.....Thank you for every hard scarifice!  Thank you for the love you have for your family and those who serve alongside you.  Thank you for being strong enough to stand for something greater than yourself.  Thank you for being disciplined! I love you for being the man you are.  I thank God for what you and I both learned and experienced as a military family.  ARMY STRONG HOOAH!
 

Funny Family Moments in the Fletcher House!

So Phil and I wanted to know what our children think about dating.  This conversation began by our children asking the question, "At what age will we be able to go to the movies with just our friends?"  Our answer was pretty simple.  We will not create a standard age for our children to do anything really.  It will depend on their independent level of responsibility, friends, obedience, the movie they want to see etc.  Basically it will be to our discretion and on a child by child basis!  That conversation lead into another.  The topic of dating.  Phil and I don't think we have come to a complete conclusion on the topic.  We have heard so much and simply are not sure which way to go with it.  We have talked about courting, arranged marriage, dating, banning all forms of contact between the opposite gender outside of parental relationship and on and on.  Phil has talked about polishing weapons and intimidating all males and I have threatened to ban all "chicken heads" from our house.  But what is a realistic expectation?  This is still a matter of prayer and praise the Lord that we still have time to wait and hear from the Lord.

In the meantime, Phil and I both know each one of our children have formed their own opinions about dating, courting and the rest.  So here are the results.

Our 11 year old boy says.....
Well the problem with dating is if people have sex, make out, or kiss.  So if you don't have sex, or make out or kiss people should be able to date at 10 years old.  Our question to him was, "Son, what would a person do with a boyfriend or girlfriend at the age of 10 years old?"  his response was they could hold hands outside of school. 

Then we have our youngest an 8 year old girl says.....
I think we should date at the age of 18!  She was very excited about her answer.  We are not sure if that is her true belief or if she just wanted to answer the question according to what we think would be a good answer.  She went on to explain that 18 was a good age because you should be going to college and have the high school stuff out of the way and your maturity is in place to date.

Finally our middle child a 9 year old girl says....
You have to date at the age of 16 years old.  Because you need at least 3-4 years to get to know a person before you marry them.  I will be married at 20.  She went on to say that she and her friend watched a show called, "Say yes to the dress" and she was 49 getting married for the first time.  Oh, my she was way too old to be getting married for the first time.  Who wants to be that old and getting married.  I mean you can't even have children then.  You body is starting to breakdown.  No, way man.  I want a boyfriend at 16 for my birthday gift! 

Okay people what do we say to these things!  I will admit a whole lot of laughter took place after that conversation.  However I thought it was good to hear what they think about these topic without spoon feeding them our thoughts and beliefs.  We certainly took the time to shape some of what was said, but even more so I had to examine my thoughts on a few things.

What is the appropriate age to allow your children to develop relationships with the opposite gender.  In some ways I feel like the rules are the same as the movie rules.  Phil had to look long and hard about Najee's thoughts and her 16th birthday request.  LOL But seriously!  Naj is my home schooled child, who has really learned this year about being a wife and mother.  So naturally her desire would be towards marriage and motherhood.  We are also currently in a sea of young people getting married at the age of 18-24 years old.  Even I got married at 21 years old.  I can see where that thought process came from.

I don't know.  What do you think?  What are you teaching your children about dating, courting and the opposite gender?  What is your philosophy about this topic with your kids?  Do you look at your dating experience and think it is something they should follow or is your experience something you want your children to avoid?  Let's chat about that.  I want to hear from you.

 

A Poem from my daughter Nichelle

Enjoy this lovely story by my daughter!  Please forgive all the family photos you will understand why I said that after you view it.  I just could not imagine using another person for the character references. 

Wednesday in the Word! Respect part 2

Last week I asked you to find scripture to help me on the road to understanding biblical respect.  I found a few and I will share them.  Then it is your turn.  There were some great comments last week, but I am still looking for scripture to back up our beliefs about respect.

I will begin by giving a pretty basic and secular definition:

1. To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.

2. To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit.
3. To relate or refer to; concern.

n.
1. A feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard; esteem. See Synonyms at regard.
2. The state of being regarded with honor or esteem.
3. Willingness to show consideration or appreciation.
4. respects Polite expressions of consideration or deference: pay one's respects.
5. A particular aspect, feature, or detail: In many respects this is an important decision.

Based on this definition I believe we can look at Proverbs 1:8-9.  Hear, my son your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.  The scripture is calling children to have a deferential regard for the instruction that parents give. It is highlighted as adornment around their head and neck.

Romans 13:1-7 talks about respect to authorities.  It also highlights that authorities are not bad but good.  Authority seems bad to you when you go against it.  I will add here that men and women in power have a tendency to abuse that place and lord over people.  Which goes against the very purpose of authorities.

That brings me to my final point.  Then I would love to hear from you.  We see perfect love, respect and authority in the relationship of the Father and Christ.  Christ was in perfect submission to the Father. (John 6:35-40) It was the Father's will that Christ yielded to in everything.  Christ pointed to the Father in all things.  Then the Father turns around and points to the Son.  (John 1:33-34) What an awesome picture of love, respect and authority.  I see the scripture telling us we need all three working in concert.

What does that mean practically? To the mom and dad you have to carry your authority from a place of love and not power.  We have talked over and over about this in our home.  It is love and not power.  What do we naturally do and or think of those who use their power over you?  If you examine your heart, you will know without a shadow of a doubt that the forcefully powerful lose every time.  Let's take a second look at Christ.  Over and over He could have exercised His power but every time he displayed love.  Guess what that does?  It draws the loved person closer.  Their respect and love increases as a result.

Last week I was DONE!  Do you hear me DONE!  However my husband really walked our family through the truth of love, respect and authority.  When there is love, grace, patience, long suffering, gentleness and clearly defined expectations there will be respect.  You don't even have to fight for it.  There will be a natural out pour of respect.  I think last week I was ready to fight for respect.  I do mean fight! However, from the scriptures I see that love is how respect is gained.