Woman On the Vine

An Evening of Elegance: Black and White Gala

2011-08-30T11:33:00.000-05:00

You are invited to City of Hope Outreach's first annual fundraising event. An Evening of Elegance: A Black & White Gala on September 10, 2011 at 7:00PM at the Conway Country Club. Come expecting to be whisked away with elegance. The Arkansas Symphony Orchestra's Quapaw Quartet will be playing, Heather Crawford of KATV news will be the M.C. of the evening, there will be hoer dour es, cash bar, silent auction to include (birth package, laptop, Downtown Conway Gifts, Fire Light website design, Cajun Bros furniture piece, art work from the children in the community and much more. Lori Cullum an art instructor here in Conway will be painting a live expression of the whole evening that will later be live auctioned. You will also hear words from the founders of City of Hope Outreach as well as meet the board and staff.

You don't want to miss this event. Wear your best black or white cocktail attire and come ready to meet and mingle.

Tickets are still on sale for $60.00 from now until door. Email Daspri at gala@cityhopeoutreach.com for more information.

A huge thank you to all our sponsors.

Mannco Fertilizer
Crain Team
Hendricks Remolding Service
Church at Oakwood
First Baptist Church
New Life Church
Crossman Printing
Smith Ford Automotive
Dr. Tilley
Toothacres

Join the Next 40 HOUR Immersion April 1-3, 2011

2011-02-28T17:46:00.000-06:00

40 HOUR IMMERSION

Paul in Philippians 2, states that our service to one another and others is directly tied to Jesus Christ incarnation. Paul states that Christ, who is God, came in human form and humbled himself to the point of death on the cross. God considered the interest of others and humbled himself and we as believers should have this same mind.

The purpose of the Oakwood Immersion is to provide Christians an incarnational opportunity to: display Jesus Christ in urban areas, gain a better understanding of people who live in a difficult socio-economic status and finally learn and grow in their Christian faith.

Participants will arrive at Oakwood on a Friday evening and will immerse themselves in the community for the duration of the weekend. Participants will have the opportunity to learn about the community, develop relationships with the residents and participate in a community revitalization project. We want this to be a time where Christians examine the existing conditions of people and communities in their own city and realize that God is more than able to bring hope to those in need.

NEXT 40hr IMMERSIONS:

Friday April 1-Sunday April 3, 2011
Friday September 23-Sunday September 25, 2011

If you or your group are interested in participating in an Immersion, complete the packet with your fee of $20* (payable to City of Hope Outreach) and return to:

The City of Hope Outreach
PO BOX 11474
Conway, Arkansas 72034

Read Brent Nelson's Reflections from Immersion in January 2011

Immersion is an experience unlike any other in the world. Through it you can obtain a deep since of what poverty really feels like. After the weekend ends, the world never looks quite the same.

Information about poverty and its effects on people can be found nearly everywhere. People talk about them everyday. Usually these facts come with a request for money so you to can help change the lives of so many. But facts are facts and nothing more. A fact has no use for money and when you hear a fact it may make your heart heavy but not necessarily pull at your wallet. When someone tells you a fact you may consider what should happen to change. When you read a fact that's all it ever amounts to in your mind, a fact about the world.

Immersion is not a fact. “Immersion” means, the condition of being engaged wholly or deeply and that statement could almost sum up the entire experience. You do not hear or learn or read facts, you live through them. You feel the weight of what these facts mean. You learn the true impact of every fact you've ever heard when someone told you about poverty.

These facts hurt. As you learn about what it truly means to live in poverty, you learn about yourself. Pride, the part of you that made you a little too busy to help out or made money just to tight to give, breaks and falls away to humbleness. Selfish arrogance gives way to selfless giving. Judgments and presuppositions become kindness and understanding as you really begin to feel the struggle that comes along with poverty.

Immersion puts you in this place so you can really learn what the life consists of. Forty hours, by comparison, amounts to a tiny glimpse through a foggy window of what impoverished life holds, but this glimpse changes lives and minds in a profound way. No one finishes Immersion the same person as when they started. It changes things.

If you haven't experienced Immersion, you ought to. It could be forty of the most pivotal hours in your life and the only way you'll ever know is to go.

My daughter's Golden Birthday is TODAY!

2011-01-09T08:47:00.000-06:00

Nichelle my youngest daughter is 9 today. This a super special birthday in our house because she is 9 on the 9th of January. So we call that your golden birthday. It only happens once in a lifetime so there you go. We celebrated her birthday with a slumber party camping theme. We invited nine girls over our house. We had a bonfire in our front yard for the first hour. They played games out front with my husband and we all roasted marshmallows and made smores that was super fun. Then we journeyed indoors to have a dance party. The video is up on YouTube and facebook (I whip my hair) so much fun. Of course cake, ice cream, presents a few more games and then (mommas mind) wind down movie. They watched a movie and then wanted to dance party again! Oh, my word! So we had a dance party with the Wii games. That was fun. Then about 1am I thought people you must go to sleep. So I gave them THE SPEECH! That goes a little something like this, "You girls need to go to sleep right now, if you don't I will call Mr. Fletcher out here and he is going to yell at you all!" The truth was my husband was already sleep, but I promise that works every single time. I don't know why, Phil has never yelled at anyone who has slept over but they obey. They went to sleep at about 2am officially. They woke up the next morning and had muffins, fruit and OJ. They made beads in the morning and hung out until their parents arrived. It was a great day for her!

Today we will celebrate even more by giving her our family gifts at 9am! Then a special dinner of her choosing this evening. We will finish the day by retelling the story of her birth!

Here are some lovely pictures of my 9 year old!

Happy Birthday Nichelle!

Happy New Year!

2011-01-03T21:31:00.000-06:00

As we embark on this new year, I am sitting and asking myself what do I seek to accomplish with the voice I have developed as the Woman on the Vine? Honestly, I am not sure. Do I just share my heart? Do I share what is happening in the ministry? Do I focus on women's issues? The list of questions goes on and on. However there is one topic I am passionate about yet have spent little time blogging about. That topic would be birth and God's design of the human body. As you may already know I am a doula. A doula is a professional labor support coach.

Everyday I learn more and more about how wonderfully God designed the human body. While the average person stops at the point of being in awe of the human, I immediately feel worshipful to the Creator! We may dig into the fears that we as women and people have about birth and why that is.

Again, I don't know. We will discover together what is important to share in the coming days and months. If you have a topic you would like to see discussed then leave a comment and let's talk about it.

Nicolle

A comment from someone who visited our church

2010-12-14T23:40:00.000-06:00

"attended an outdoor church service this morning. YES... it was cold, mostly due to the wind. I met a lot of nice, new friends. the last time I attended a sunday morning service... it was held in a large, beautiful, heated sanctuary. I tell you this: the wind this morning was warmer than the artificial, glossed-over, fancy congregation that embodies the ornate building." -A visitor to the Church at Oakwood.

Thanksgiving Banquet Review!

2010-12-12T23:29:00.000-06:00

The Sunday before Thanksgiving found the community of Oakwood alive with people, food, and a spirit of love and acceptance. City of Hope Outreach planned and organized a lunch for people inside and outside Oakwood.

There were many people impressed with effort from City of Hope and its volunteers. Gina, who once lived in Oakwood, said, “I really appreciate the work Phillip and CoHO are doing here.” Several people discussed how simply odd it seemed that a group would just give away so much food.

Before the meal began, the area was swarmed by volunteers from churches and ministries from the Conway area. “I volunteer here because I really enjoy making a difference and serving people and this is a great place to do so,” explained a volunteer from UCA’s Chi Alpha. He continued, “I plan to volunteer here again.” These volunteers served food in a buffet style line and also took it to people eating at tables.

Phillip Fletcher, the director of City of Hope Outreach, spoke about the presence of food in throughout the bible. From the passover feast to the last supper and finally the final marriage supper. He related these events to the lunch in Oakwood, saying that both would find believers of all backgrounds, regardless of social class, ethnicity or wealth. After delivering a powerful message, Phillip asked for blessing for the food and everyone ate.

As people began finishing their food, Nicolle Fletcher, announced and began reading people’s card board testimonies, their personal stories of conversion featuring a description of themselves before salvation on one side and after salvation on the other. Everyone clapped and cheered as signs we’re flipped delivering messages of, “Victim” to, “Victorious” and, “Addicted” to, “freed.”

The event came to a close with Phillip speaking again, this time on hope. He delivered a message laying out the need for God by all people, regardless of wealth, ethnicity or social class. Phillip closed in prayer and volunteers cleaned up, distributing all the leftover food they could.

Written by Brent Nelson

Moments in the Word PART 2

2010-12-05T22:53:00.000-06:00

Dear Friend,

If you were satisfied with the Heaven described in the last post, I would strongly encourage you to CHECK your salvation!

If you can find satisfaction in anything at the end of this life other than CHRIST you are LOST! The Heaven described in the last post is HELL! I know you are saying, "Seriously how could one describe hell with all the natural pleasure that were noted in that description?" Simply put, it was void of Christ!

What was lost in the Garden of Eden after Adam and Eve sinned? They lost God! Not that God could not find His way to them but their sin caused a separation between man and God. In that separation they were punished. They had life without God/Christ. Christ was in the beginning with God and in deed was God (that was a sidebar). Christianity without Christ is just a bunch of "good morals" that will lead you to Hell.

Heaven is about CHRIST! Let's paint a new picture...

If you walk into the gates of Heaven and hear the words, "Well, done my good and faithful servant." Then you walk into what seems like a throne room and the only thing there is God the Father and Christ on His right hand.

Would you be satisfied?

Is Christ enough for you?

Sincerely,
Nicolle

Moments in the Word

2010-11-29T23:17:00.000-06:00

Would you describe Heaven?
What does it look like?
What does it feel like?
Who is there?
What color are the streets?
What does your room look like?
How many jewels on your crown?
What questions do you have?
What are you most thrilled about?
Is it that your spouse is there with you?
Maybe your father, mother or grandparent?

What are you most looking forward to in Heaven?

My friends I want you to take this time and ask yourself these questions, then answer them. You don't have to do it here, but I do want you to take this time and think on what is being asked. I hear people all the time say when I get to Heaven I'm going to ask God this or that. Have you ever heard or said this, "I can't wait to get to Heaven to see my (family or friend)"?

Let's think a little harder....

What if Heaven was this.....

You with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted and experienced. There were no human conflict or any natural disasters.
Could you be satisfied with Heaven if it were just like this?

To be continued.......

Titus Twosday!

2010-11-02T14:30:00.006-05:00

This Titus Twosday is all about discipleship. As I read through Titus it is clear to me that we need to be (being) discipled while discipling. I as a 34 year old married woman with three children, I need to have disciples. According to Titus 2, I need to be training younger women to love their husband and children, to be self controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands that the word of God may not be reviled. The command to train the younger from this text is directed to married women with children.

So to the MARRIED Woman with children...FIND, Create and carve out time to train younger women in this role. We can not neglect the God given right and role to speak direction into the lives of younger women. People we are always discipling whether it is intentional or not. I am encouraging you today to make it intentional that the word of God may not be reviled.

Monday's Ministry Moments

2010-11-01T05:00:00.001-05:00

This weekend was amazing, we listening to a missionary from Romanian share about the work they are doing, held a Nehemiah Project with Chi Alpha of UCA to decorate the inside of the Hope Community Center, held the World Banquet and a Community Lunch. That was a whole lot to type. :)

On Friday we got the room set up for the World Banquet. During the set up for the World Banquet I personally learned how important it is to work together. There was a song released years ago called "I need you to survive" by Hezekiah Walker this truth was made real in my heart as my sister in Christ. Daspri took a huge load off my shoulders by carrying a huge load for this event. She took the day off work to help me. While I do know that her service to me was really her service to the Lord but we see Christ through one another. I saw Christ in her this weekend. I want to say thank you to her for all the hard work. I would also fall short if I did not thank all the hands and feet that were there on Friday for set up and Saturday for breakdown. The many staff, volunteers, friends, and family that just offered a helping hand in whatever means necessary. THANK YOU!

Later that night we listened to a Romanian Missionary share his story and what they are doing there. It was crazy as Phil and I sat and listened to him. It was as if I were listening to Phil or myself speak about the City of Hope Outreach. That time with him confirmed our mission here in Conway. The spirit of the Lord is with us and is doing this type of work in the earth. We are apart of Kingdom expansion and I am so very grateful!

Saturday came very quickly after the late night on Friday. Men and women woke up and hit the ground running to serve the community. We painted the inside of the Hope Community Center (HCC). We also painted the trim on the outside, put pictures up and on the wall, and organized the office. It now looks amazing. Since the upgrade we are better able to serve the community. This will just help us to function a lot smoother. A huge thank you goes to Chi Alpha for the work they put in on this project. Also, Cory Nelson the Nehemiah Project coordinator for CoHO.

Later that afternoon was the massive labor to bring awareness about the poor in our city and our world. The World Banquet was a success from my viewpoint. I believe men and women to include those working for the event were enlightened. It was a blessing for both Phil and I to share this event with others. A huge thank you to everyone who made this evening possible. Special Thanks to Jennifer Mouser for laboring from 6am - 9pm in service to City of Hope Outreach. You are an amazing woman!

We wrapped this weekend up with a Community Lunch with the Church at Oakwood. We enjoyed a wonderful day of fellowship, food and fun. Thank you to Christ Church Conway for supplying the meal and fellowshiping with us.

Thank you to everyone...

It is my prayer that your labor this weekend will prove to serve the King of Kings. I pray that each one of you will see in each other the what God sees in you. It is our goal to educate and mobilize believers towards true religion (caring for the poor, orphaned and widow), helping them to focus on their Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria and the ends of the earth.

Upcoming Events

2010-10-31T22:37:00.000-05:00

Saturday November 6, 2010 we will be having another Nehemiah Project. For this Nehemiah Project we will be making rounds through the Oakwood Mobile Home Park to rake leaves and clean around the outside of peoples trailers. We will have the largest part of our effort cleaning the cement slab that King's Club is normally held. The cement slab is very large and often has debre, trash and broken glass. We are making it our priority to clean the area to create a safe environment for our children to all play.

Then following that project we will have King's Club for the children of the community to come out a play. It promises to be an amazing day.

If you would like to join this Nehemiah Project please contact Cory at nehemiah@cityhopeoutreach.com if you are interested in serving with King's Club please contact Jared or Liz at kings@cityhopeoutreach.com

Thanks

Continued Picture Show

2010-10-31T22:02:00.001-05:00

Family October 2010

My Mother Julia Kollmyer and I

extended family photo 2010

New & Old Family Pictures!

2010-10-31T21:41:00.000-05:00

December 2007

October 2010

Fall 2009

3 R's Tutoring Needs more TUTORS!

2010-10-26T23:11:00.002-05:00

We have run into a problem. It is one of the problem we like to have though. We have had an increase in the number of students needing tutoring. Therefore, we could use some assistance. If you think you would like to serve with us in tutoring children who need it please contact us at tutor@cityhopeoutreach.com

Tutor a child today!

Marriage Talks: New Podcast

2010-10-26T12:00:00.000-05:00

My King (Phillip Fletcher) and I have started a conversation series on marriage. It is called "Marriage Talks". These conversations between Phil and I are frank, open and direct.

This particular conversation began with my husband asking, "What are big sin issues for women? You hear people all the time talk about men in pornography but you don't hear about a woman's struggle."

So, please enjoy our very first discussion about the struggles men and women face. Click here to listen.
Feel free to comment.

World Banquet is SATURDAY OCTOBER 30, 2010

2010-10-25T23:07:00.000-05:00

World Banquet 2010

So you are asking what in the world is the World Banquet? Well, allow me a few moments of your time to explain.

The World Banquet is an experiential dinner. You will randomly be immersed into a specific people group from these areas North America, Latin America, Europe, Africa, South Asia and East Asia.

As our night progresses you will experience a traditional meal from the culture you are experiencing. You will not go from culture to culture to experience their world. Just the one you are selected to attend, with your eyes you will see and feel the emotions from what others are experiencing. You will immediately be surprised by the distinctions. We will have music and dancing from some of the cultures. There will be a few live bands sharing music from the Isaiah 58 Project. Really and truly this in a night you don't want to miss.

This is an awareness evening. Your eyes will be enlightened!

Tickets are currently on sale at the Christian Book Outlet (Conway Commons), Hope Community Center, Chi Alpha of UCA (see Jennifer Mouser), www.cityhopeoutreach.com or reply here and I can help you get tickets. The price is $25 for adults and $15 for students. Ticket sales END at MIDNIGHT TUESDAY OCTOBER 26, 2010. If you would like to attend but can not purchase your ticket until later in the week please notify me and we can reserve a ticket for you. All proceeds go to directly benefit the poor in the City of Conway.

We are on Facebook under City of Hope Outreach.

Again,

The World Banquet...See & Experience the cultures of the world

Saturday October 30, 2010 @ 6:30p-9:00p

Peace Lutheran Family Life Center

800 S. Donaghey

Conway, Arkansas 72034

501-499-1043 for more information

God IS!

2010-10-25T22:37:00.000-05:00

I want to make it clear how wonderful and amazing our God truly is. It isn't really because my life is perfect and everything is going great, but it is because of WHO God IS!
God IS......

HOLY

RIGHTEOUS

JUST

THE JUSTIFIER

HUMBLE

MIGHTY

STRONG

WARRIOR

TO BE FEARED

CREATOR

PROVIDER

PEACE IN A TIME OF STORM

HEALER

SHEPHERD

SELF EXISTING

ALL SUFFICENT

MOST HIGH

THE ONE WHO SEES

THERE

REST

Shall I go on? If you have a characteristic of God to add to this list please do so. If you have time share how God showed up in your life through that specific characteristic do that too. If you have scriptures that will also help us to encourage each other.

Some pictures from California! June 2010

2010-10-25T22:10:00.000-05:00

This is my mother and dad (step father)

My oldest sister and her daughters! The Chocolate Beauties! :)

My nephew and girlfriend. He is the son of my oldest sister Chocolate beauty!

My girls with my father

My Mother and I

What's Happening Now

2010-09-03T11:02:00.000-05:00

Okay so seriously I have not had time to breathe! I know that doesn't sound like a good thing but let me tell it is. As far a ministry is concerned God is jumpin off some huge events! We have been working for sometime now to establish a trailer in the community. It would serve as the community center were tutoring, counseling, bible study, meetings and feedings would be held. Well, that mobile home was moved into the park on Wednesday. It is so wonderful. We still have a lot of work to do inside the mobile home. We need your help to do it. We are scheduled for a renovation project on September 11, 2010. In order to accomplish that work we need $2,000.00. I know without a shadow of a doubt that we can raise those funds in a matter of days. Why am I so confident? Well, only because of the God I serve. He has been consistent in meeting our needs. He does own everything! Remember. It would be awesome if you would like to donate through our website www.cityhopeoutreach.com in order to help us accomplish the goal of having a facility in the community that can be used for the glory of God and the joy of people. Friends we are apart of building the Kingdom for God! It is an amazing opportunity. Join us in this effort. You can also purchase a Home Depot Gift Card in any amount and that will be used towards the renovation of the community center in Oakwood Village Mobile Home Park.

Next...

The Lord laid on my husband's heart to establish a shelter. This Hope Shelter would serve as immediate shelter for our community. At this point there isn't an immediate emergency shelter. So with lots of prayers and believing God for provision and direction we shared that vision at our Appreciation Banquet in July. We the God we serve is abundant is blessing and clear with His plans. One week ago today we were offered 1.33 acres of land and a 20,000 sq. ft facility to serve as the Hope Shelter. By offered I mean donated without charge as long as the Gospel will be proclaimed and the work of the Lord will continue. So, uh YES! That is what we are about. We currently have two grants in for renovations of that facility. We will also be raising funds and partnering with businesses and people to make that vision come to full fruition. So when you pray please pray for that effort in every way that you can think of. We are blessed but need your prayers.

So....

That is just the half. I will give more updates soon. Here is a look at the upcoming events calendar.

September 11, 2010 Nehemiah Project Community Center Renovations (get involved by donating finances, time, materials and labor)

September 18, 2010 God, Gospel and Poverty Seminar

September 24-26, 2010 Immersion (40 Hours of Intense Immersion in Poverty)

September 26, 2010 Community Lunch with First Baptist Church in Conway

October 30, 2010 World Banquet (tickets on sale September 15, 2010 see website for more details)

November 21, 2010 Thanksgiving Banquet

December 6-10, 2010 Christmas Store

These are current major events. Reply to this post, FB, email or check out the website for more details on any one of these events. Thanks

Do you remember?

2010-08-18T23:16:00.000-05:00

Do you remember when I said I had all this stuff to say? Well, that fact is still true. However, I have not found the time to sit and share all my thoughts with you. It has been hard for me to sit still (not because I don't want to) because life is moving at a very rapid pace for us. So seriously, check back because I do have lots to share.

Titus Twosday! Mothering to the best of your ability!

2010-08-10T04:00:00.009-05:00

Do you remember these, Titus Twosday's? Well, I thought we'd just jump back into our old routine with new thoughts and ideas. This Titus Twosday is all about motherhood. Over the last year I have discovered new things about myself, Christendom (if that is a word), parenting and children. My now 11 year old son, 9 year old daughter and 8 year old daughter have taught me many things and helped shape my opinion on life in general. Last year about this time I was on the road to homeschooling my middle daughter for the very first time. I was full of excitement and nervous anxiety. I wondered would I really be able to help her, teach her and train her in the things she most needed. I had a friend (Angie) holding my hand and encouraging me the whole way. She helped me to see how I was really the best teacher of all things my daughter could ever learn. While, that knowledge brought great comfort it also brought great responsibility. I realized if I did not teach it, it wouldn't be taught. I know most you are thinking DUH! But seriously that is SCARY! During this past year of schooling I had to learn to trust the Lord with the wisdom I would need in order to educate my daughter to the best of my ability. And so there you have it a successful year of homeschool completed in the Fletcher home. I can't honestly say my daughter is a brain scientist. I can't even say she is ahead of "the class". Here is what I can say. I know my daughter and she knows me! She knows exactly what I would say and do in almost any situation. That goes both ways. She is a professional business woman called to urban missions. She can hold a meeting at Starbucks, Stoby's, Tropical Smoothie, the trailer park, the United Way Services Center, Birth Works Doula Services Center, Conway Regional Gym, local Churches and home any day of the week. She can self entertain. She is confident in her math skills, she enjoys reading (only good books according to her), she can communicate her needs to others, she is more outgoing, she cares for others, she loves to cook and clean, she has the heart of a servant, she is a nurturer, she loves babies, she is a great swimmer, she loves zumba and enjoys woman topics (puberty, development, baby's and how they are born). Did you have to wonder where she got "woman topics" from? I am laughing out loud about that one. Anyway, all that to say I was able to really know and learn my daughter this year. As I said before she was able to learn more about me and my heart. It was an awesome adventure I was literally able to pour my heart into my daughters heart. That is amazing! As I say all of those wonderful things this next statement is probably going to shock you.

I will not be homeschooling any of my children this coming school year. They will all attend the local public school and I am looking as forward to that as I was to homeschooling Najee' last year. Okay, so the big fat WHY! As I look back I see so many victories but I also see what was lost in the process for me. I had one child in the elementary school (2nd grade), one at home (3rd/4th grade), and the other about 5 miles away at the intermediate school (5th grade). Not only that, we (my husband and I) were experiencing for the first time in our lives running and operating a non profit from the ground up and establishing a church plant. Those things were all major in and of themselves, however I will continue with the list of new beginnings. I recieved my Certification as a Doula for Central Arkansas, which meant I was being called away at any given time to a birth or to meet the needs of a laboring momma. I was answering prenatal and post pardum questions. Have I even begun to talk about ministry issues and concerns? Do you get the picture?

So the title of this post is "Mothering to the best of your ability", I was only successful this last year because of Christ. Seriously, no joke! I was able to mother to the best of my ability given the previous situation. In retrospect I could or should have given more to particular areas. I visited my other children at their school, oh about twice the whole school year. Now if you know me that is NOT how I roll! I usually visit my childrens school at the very least once per week! I was tired all the time. When the other children came home from school I was not the mother they were used to. I was tired, grumpy, busy, on the phone, rushing, shall I go on? Anyway, as my husband and I were looking into this coming school year I realized two things. This is advice for all women everywhere! If you are going to homeschool consider homeschool all of your children, not just one or two. Life is much easier if you are calling all the shots and not calling some and then trying to work around other people calling shots too. I also struggled with field trips. I wanted my kids in public school to attend the field trips I was taking Najee on, but she could not attend the ones they were going on. So what happened was the public school kids got to go on every single adventure there was and Najee' did her field trips with the sibilings on the weekends. That was sad, I know. The second piece of advice is if you are a better mother to your children while they attend public school then if they are homeschooled allow them to attend public school.

I know we talk about the influence of the world on our children when they attend public school but really if we as parents are actively training and discipling our children the influence of the public school will pale in comparision to the influence you have as a parent. I think Christiandom does a disservice to mothers and children by implying that the only way to teach our children Christian values is to homeschool often at the expense of good being a godly influence. I hope I am making myself clear. If homeschooling your children means you are a stress ball of crazy all day and night, then DON'T DO IT! Because in that process you are teaching your children who Christ and how they should behave. I would much rather release the homeschool concept and idea to better educate and equip my children for service in the Kingdom of God. Now that is my story.

I am not opposed to homeschool in the future. However, I will make huge changes. The first of which will be homeschooling all three of my children at one time. The second would be not homeschooling during the onset of major life transitions. You will all be happy to know (or at least I am happy to know) that we now have a wonderful group of servants in ministry what will share lots and lots of the load that Phil and I were carrying alone. So Praise the Lord for it all! Better mothering is already in progress, because God is providing so we can keep first things first!

Oh Me, Oh My I'm back online

2010-08-03T17:14:00.000-05:00

Well, it feels like it has been years since we were last together! :) I have been super busy but the biggest part was that my computer was actin' a plum FOOL! So, my wonderful husband had my friend (the computer) checked out and she is doing well now. I have lots to say however it will not be now. I just wanted to say hello since I'm back in cyberspace with my own working computer! YAY!

HOME ALONE (just my husband and I)

2010-07-13T18:47:00.000-05:00

My kids are at camp for a whole week! WOW! I can't believe it! We dropped them off on Sunday after church and will pick them up on Friday evening. I think we are all holding up pretty well! Phil and I are really enjoying our time to hang, discuss, work and plan. I praise God for this time and look forward to their safe and richly blessed return.

This is the first time we have allowed our children to participate in something like this that we were don't directing, teaching or whatever. We fully trust this ministry and in fact they are new partners in ministry with the CoHO. You can check them out. It is a non profit organization that pulls together once per year to put on this camp for "unchurched, poor, abused and broken children". The work is super awesome and right up our alley! There is a huge mix of children and every child is received with open arms and are fully nurtured at whatever stage of life they are in. I love it!

Check them out www.campcayc.org

Interesting!

2010-07-07T23:36:00.000-05:00

I just realized I have left all my friends in the blogging world high and dry. My last post was about me realizing that I need more time with the Lord. God is very ..... I don't have words. Whatever word I would find would be positive but words fail in describing the greatness of God most times. The day after posted Honesty I received an email asking me to speak to a group of young moms (MOPS) about how much time in the word a woman in leadership needs in order to lead effectively. REALLY!? I thought why in the world would the Lord send someone to ask me that when I am struggling with that very thing. Then I realized the answer was simple.

There is not a recipe for your commitment level. I would never tell a woman to read her bible three times per day and pray to the west at high noon laying flat on the floor before the Lord and then you can effectively minister to others. Far from it! I would and did encourage the woman and myself to keep a steady flow of in pour as you pour out. Does that make sense? I used the illustration of three jars. One of those jars is you, the other is family, friends and people you serve in ministry, then the final jar is Christ. I filled the Christ jar and the you jar up with water. Then I discussed everyday scenario. For instance you homeschool, your husband has a hard day at work, your kids need emotional direction and support, your girlfriend calls and her life seems to be crumbling before her eyes, one of the ladies in your church needs help (simple advice) and finally a girl in your neighborhood is struggling with some serious issues and wants to talk to you about it. By the end of that day your jar should pretty much be empty. However if you keep a slow steady flow from the cup of Christ your cup will never run out. We have to understand that His cup will never run empty but ours will. For mothers with small children or even older children with tons of activities going on it is hard to get time to be in your prayer closest for hours on end. I encouraged these ladies and myself to sing songs of praise and worship while washing dishes, listen to a sermon on the internet while folding clothes, pray as you go and on the way. I absolutely believe we need to take purposeful time to spend with the Lord but when we become legalistic about it, it turns from worship and fellowship to duty. There is no joy in duty.

So I am thankful to the Lord for presenting me with that opportunity and realization. I need Him consistently but it doesn"t have to look like three hours in the prayer closet while your children are tearing up the whole house outside your door. Different seasons of live require different and creative ways to maintain a steady flow of Christ into our hearts.

HONESTY!

2010-07-06T10:14:00.000-05:00

Where are you struggling in your walk with Christ right now?

I chose this topic because I am struggling to faithful pursue the Lord in scripture. I am frustrated with individuals around me who don't know the truth of scripture yet I am having the hardest time sitting down to rest in God's word. While visiting family in California I watched an episode of "Wife Swap". I learned so much, and felt so much shame as well. One of the moms was a belly dancer who spent her life belly dancing. She had belly dancing students come to her home and clean the house while she danced or meditated. She had a symbol of every faith system in her home because she did not want to be wrong about any one of them, and be overlooked by one. Okay so enough of the back ground. Here is the point. This woman who is hopeless, lost and blind to the truth takes time everyday for one hour to pray/breath/summon spirits/whateva! But, I am struggling to find time to read the word? WHAT! I have the eternal hope of glory. I am in relationship with the King of Kings, the Alpha and Omega. I have been blessed to be called a child, a joint heir to the throne with Christ and I can't find time to study. That show slapped me in the face so hard I can still feel the sting even now. Therefore, I must be honest and say I am without and lacking. My prayer is that the conviction of the simple show will bring me to a place of repentance and restoration in the area of study and resting in the joy of the Lord once again.

There you have it, my struggle. What is yours? If you are not currently struggling through anything would you be kind enough to leave a prayer for me and or others in the comment section of this post. Let us build on another up in the faith of Christ!

Ignorance!

2010-07-05T11:29:00.001-05:00

I recently heard some information that absolutely floored. Understand that there is not much out there that floors me. Lots of things disappoint, frustrate or break my heart. However, flat out floored me not often.

Okay so many of you may know that I have taken a firm stand on inter racial dating and marriage. For a many number of reasons. With that being said there is always the exception to the rule.

My friend a native Conwayian. Is that how you spell that? Is that even the right word choice? Oh, I hope so. Anyway, we were talking about a friend of ours who is married inter racially. They were seeking church membership here in town and the pastor told them that they did not allow that in their church. The pastor went on to say that it was sinful for them to be together. The scripture they used...Do not be unequally yoke. WHAT!?!?!?!

Let's actually take some time to look at the verse in context.

2 Corinthians 6
1Working together with him, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain. 2For he says, "In a favorable time I listened to you, and in a day of salvation I have helped you." Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation. 3We put no obstacle in anyone’s way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, 4but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, 5 beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; 6 by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love; 7by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; 8through honor and dishonor, through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; 9as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed; 10 as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything. 11We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open. 12You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections. 13 In return (I speak as to children) widen your hearts also.
The Temple of the Living God
14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, "I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 17Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, 18 and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty."

To be unequally yoked has nothing to do with ethnicity. Even in the old testament when the Israelites were told not to have any deals with other ethnic groups it was not because of their skin but because of their faith or lack there of. We don't live in such a way that our ethnicity predetermines our faith.

I guess me explaning all of this is because I am trying to give this pastor the benefit of the doubt but there really isn't one. Churches around this world are preaching and teaching IGNORANCE! Not all but a few. Those small often have great impact on the ones who would be damaged the most by it...unbelievers! The bottomline is whatever your preference is regarding this issue, understand it is your preference and not a sin issue. Sin is the issue when two people chose to be married and do not agree on faith in Christ. That is the true definition of being unequally yoked. Don't believe me read the passage again for yourself. Please Please don't continue to be ignorant and spread ignorance! Read the scripture. Most of all stop lying on God!

I would like to take a quick poll. Tell me your age (if your not ashamed) and whether or not you were taught in ignorance or righteousness as a child growing up. I would also like to know if this is the first time you have heard the scripture being twisted in this way or not. Thanks for sharing with me.

Monday's Ministry

2010-06-28T16:53:00.001-05:00

Her name is "Undesirable". She has been raped by her father over and over. She has given birth to one of her father's children and one by another man. She can't keep her children because DHS has found her unfit as a mother. All the while giving food stamps and government aide to her mother who is fully aware of what is happening between the father and the daughter. The mother hates the daughter because she stole her husbands affection. Now the daughter will sleep with anyone. She has repeatedly slept with a man who she knows has an STD and is married. Her siblings keep calling her stupid for being with him. Her response is "Maybe I want to die and this is how I want to do it." She has been in and out of juvenile jail. She wears an ankle bracelet. She was kicked out of school because of her pregnancy. The administration at the school thinks of her as a whore. Some days she wants to cry out and tell her story but if she does her mother will beat her within an inch of her life. So she remains silence, and angry. The hatred builds and builds.

Undesirable is young....very young. She is 16 years old. By the worlds standard she is ugly. She is fat, dirty, unkept in every way and uneducated. She lives in an undesirable part of town, where drug abuse is ramped. She is unseen and unheard everyday of her life. She wonders everyday, "Why am I here? If there is a God would He be merciful and kill me, right here, right now?!" Her exterior is hard and cold. She will curse you up one way and down another. She likes to fight people in the outside world because it is the only way she can relate to people. It is the only way her mother, father and siblings relate to her. She doesn't think there is anything good about her at all. Her life is filled with hatred, bitterness and fear.

This Ministry Monday is about our responsibility to minister to "the undesirable". The person described above is a picture of the many women with whom God has given me the opportunity to minister to. Allow me to take a few moments to describe what ministry to this type of woman may look like.

The primary goal is to get this person to see, know Christ and find value in the person God created them to be. However, the direct approach is not to walk up to this person and say.....Do you know Jesus? or Here are the 10 commandments, how many of these have you broken? You don't have to convince this person of their sin. They are already aware of it. They need to be convinced of God's love inspite of their sin. Then you need to help them see the Hope that lies in Christ Jesus. You will have to answer on some level the question of "Why me?" This is a great work and will take years and years to address the many concerns. Truth be told often you are not the person who gets to walk with that person in salvation. In this raw stage you are actually tilling the grow. Then you may plant a seed or two. You may even be blessed enough to water. It is always God who gives the increase and you may not get to see that happen. That is were you have to be strong in your faith in Christ.

Here is what I would say. Offer the hope of Christ and address the immediate need. Be consistent in their life, even if that means you get cursed out every time. Prayer, prayer prayer is key. We need to show this person the love they have never seen before in this life time. A love not of this world. Befriend Undesirable, enter into a relationship with her!

Here is a challenge question:
Why don't you engage in relationship with "Undesirable"?
If you do have a relationship with Undesirable, What are the difficulties you experience? What are the joys?

Here are some ways you can help us to continue to minister and love "Undesirable".
This week begins King's Club during the week.
Tuesday and Thursday @ 2:00pm-4:00pm in Oakwood
Still Match Funds for the Mobile Home....we still need 89 people to donate $35.00 to match funds for the mobile home. We are also looking for 98 people to donate $15 to move the mobile home from its current location to the mobile home park.

Back to Life!

2010-06-27T23:38:00.000-05:00

Do you remember the song "Back to Life, Back to Reality, Back from the Fantasy...Yeah ah!"? Well, if you do or don't that is my theme song as of this last week. I was blessed to go to California with my mother and kids for two weeks. We drive there and back. Upon our return to Conway we hit the ground runnin'. A seminar the next day, appointments with clients throughout the week, community service projects on and on. California you were great but it is certainly back to life. I actually need a few days vacation from my vacation and my life. But, this is the reality that is mine. Busy, busy up hill climb, then the plateau and down hill......of course to repeat it all over again.

Basically I am writing today to say....."I'M BACK!"

Titus Twosday! Modesty 2010 part 2

2010-06-08T11:59:00.005-05:00

This Titus Twosday is all about modesty in 2010. Some of you read my previous post on this topic. This time I really want to hear from you! So if you have read this much of this post you have to comment! DEAL! Okay I am going to ask some questions and you can answer any one of them or all of them. That is your choice. Here we go!!!

1. What is most disturbing to you about people dressed immodest?
2. How does immodesty effect you as a believer? Do you have to pay special attention to guard your heart? What are the specific ways in which you do that?
3. Is there a general standard for everyone, or is there room for "if you got it flaunt it"?
4. Do you think most people dressed immodestly are aware of their possible offense and disturbance...or more importantly that they may be lead another into sin?
5. is there a limit to one individuals responsibility to..."not cause a brother to stumble"? Example...someone in your church says it causes them to sin when you wear green. You are completely covered but they are lead to sin because of some childhood deal. What is your responsibility as a believer to help that other believer in their sin?

Okay I think that is enough for now.....

Here is a sneak peak at what we will be talking about in the next few weeks.
Can a woman be a missionary (outside the home) and have a family? What is a woman's role in the command to go and make disciples?

Excited to hear from you all!

Nicolle

Money Matching this Ministry Monday!

2010-06-07T22:27:00.000-05:00

We Need Your Help

We have been blessed to purchase a mobile home trailer that will serve as the main center for the Oakwood Community. This trailer will be the primary location for 3R’s Tutoring, counseling, King’s Club and other activities to serve the Oakwood Community.

We were blessed to receive a donation of $3,500 for the purchase of the trailer and we will need to match these funds. How can you help?

We are looking for 100 people to donate $35 towards this facility. I am personally asking that you would be a part of this endeavor as we continue to bring hope to our city of Conway and specifically here in Oakwood. You can donate securely online through our website at www.cityhopeoutreach.com You can also mail in your donation to:

The City of Hope Outreach, P.O. Box 11474 Conway, Ar. 72034
In the memo section please specify, “Trailer”

All donations are 100% tax deductible. The City of Hope Outreach is a 501(C)3 faith-based nonprofit ministry incorporated in Arkansas.

Thank you sincerely for your donation and time.
Nicolle
The City of Hope Outreach

Memorial Day!

2010-05-31T00:39:00.003-05:00

Memorial Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the last Monday of May. Formerly known as Decoration Day, it commemorates U.S. men and women who died while in the military service. First enacted to honor Union soldiers of the American Civil War (it is celebrated near the day of reunification after the Civil War), it was expanded after World War I.

Here is a video and song for you to be still and reflect on your freedom today! You have heard it time and time again FREEDOM IS NOT FREE! Salvation is not free! Christ PAID for your salvation!

Please remember MEN AND WOMEN ARE PAYING FOR YOUR FREEDOM EVERYDAY!

I want to say thank you to the men and women that serve this country!

I want to say thank you for the wives and husbands who scarifice every day for our freedom.

Thank you for enduring long nights away from home. The repeat tours overseas. The years you miss of the lives of those you love the most. The moms thank you for being strong! Thank you for building community around women and men that are waiting at home. Thank you for praying. Thank you for being strong when your spouse is not the same upon their return home. Thank you for loving them. Thank you for writing letters and sending care packages. Thank you for your leadership!

THANK YOU FOR BEING WILLING TO GIVE YOUR LIFE FOR SOMETHING GREATER THAN YOURSELF!

THANK YOU MILITARY FAMILY FOR ALWAYS SUPPORTING EVEN IN THE MOST DIFFICULT SITUATIONS.

PRAISE THE LORD FOR MEN AND WOMEN WHO LOST THEIR LIFE IN BATTLE. IT IS BECAUSE OF THEIR SCARIFICE THAT WE CAN BE FREE TODAY!

TO OUR SOLDIERS AND THEIR FAMILY I SAY THANK YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS!

Please comment on this post and thank or remember a soldier by writing their name and if you would like add a special note about them.

To my husband (former) Captain Phillip Fletcher.....Thank you for every hard scarifice! Thank you for the love you have for your family and those who serve alongside you. Thank you for being strong enough to stand for something greater than yourself. Thank you for being disciplined! I love you for being the man you are. I thank God for what you and I both learned and experienced as a military family. ARMY STRONG HOOAH!

Funny Family Moments in the Fletcher House!

2010-05-29T07:04:00.001-05:00

So Phil and I wanted to know what our children think about dating. This conversation began by our children asking the question, "At what age will we be able to go to the movies with just our friends?" Our answer was pretty simple. We will not create a standard age for our children to do anything really. It will depend on their independent level of responsibility, friends, obedience, the movie they want to see etc. Basically it will be to our discretion and on a child by child basis! That conversation lead into another. The topic of dating. Phil and I don't think we have come to a complete conclusion on the topic. We have heard so much and simply are not sure which way to go with it. We have talked about courting, arranged marriage, dating, banning all forms of contact between the opposite gender outside of parental relationship and on and on. Phil has talked about polishing weapons and intimidating all males and I have threatened to ban all "chicken heads" from our house. But what is a realistic expectation? This is still a matter of prayer and praise the Lord that we still have time to wait and hear from the Lord.

In the meantime, Phil and I both know each one of our children have formed their own opinions about dating, courting and the rest. So here are the results.

Our 11 year old boy says.....
Well the problem with dating is if people have sex, make out, or kiss. So if you don't have sex, or make out or kiss people should be able to date at 10 years old. Our question to him was, "Son, what would a person do with a boyfriend or girlfriend at the age of 10 years old?" his response was they could hold hands outside of school.

Then we have our youngest an 8 year old girl says.....
I think we should date at the age of 18! She was very excited about her answer. We are not sure if that is her true belief or if she just wanted to answer the question according to what we think would be a good answer. She went on to explain that 18 was a good age because you should be going to college and have the high school stuff out of the way and your maturity is in place to date.

Finally our middle child a 9 year old girl says....
You have to date at the age of 16 years old. Because you need at least 3-4 years to get to know a person before you marry them. I will be married at 20. She went on to say that she and her friend watched a show called, "Say yes to the dress" and she was 49 getting married for the first time. Oh, my she was way too old to be getting married for the first time. Who wants to be that old and getting married. I mean you can't even have children then. You body is starting to breakdown. No, way man. I want a boyfriend at 16 for my birthday gift!

Okay people what do we say to these things! I will admit a whole lot of laughter took place after that conversation. However I thought it was good to hear what they think about these topic without spoon feeding them our thoughts and beliefs. We certainly took the time to shape some of what was said, but even more so I had to examine my thoughts on a few things.

What is the appropriate age to allow your children to develop relationships with the opposite gender. In some ways I feel like the rules are the same as the movie rules. Phil had to look long and hard about Najee's thoughts and her 16th birthday request. LOL But seriously! Naj is my home schooled child, who has really learned this year about being a wife and mother. So naturally her desire would be towards marriage and motherhood. We are also currently in a sea of young people getting married at the age of 18-24 years old. Even I got married at 21 years old. I can see where that thought process came from.

I don't know. What do you think? What are you teaching your children about dating, courting and the opposite gender? What is your philosophy about this topic with your kids? Do you look at your dating experience and think it is something they should follow or is your experience something you want your children to avoid? Let's chat about that. I want to hear from you.

A Poem from my daughter Nichelle

2010-05-28T21:01:00.001-05:00

Enjoy this lovely story by my daughter! Please forgive all the family photos you will understand why I said that after you view it. I just could not imagine using another person for the character references.

Wednesday in the Word! Respect part 2

2010-05-26T00:16:00.003-05:00

Last week I asked you to find scripture to help me on the road to understanding biblical respect. I found a few and I will share them. Then it is your turn. There were some great comments last week, but I am still looking for scripture to back up our beliefs about respect.

I will begin by giving a pretty basic and secular definition:

1. To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.

2. To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit.
3. To relate or refer to; concern.

n.
1. A feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard; esteem. See Synonyms at regard.
2. The state of being regarded with honor or esteem.
3. Willingness to show consideration or appreciation.
4. respects Polite expressions of consideration or deference: pay one's respects.
5. A particular aspect, feature, or detail: In many respects this is an important decision.

Based on this definition I believe we can look at Proverbs 1:8-9. Hear, my son your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck. The scripture is calling children to have a deferential regard for the instruction that parents give. It is highlighted as adornment around their head and neck.

Romans 13:1-7 talks about respect to authorities. It also highlights that authorities are not bad but good. Authority seems bad to you when you go against it. I will add here that men and women in power have a tendency to abuse that place and lord over people. Which goes against the very purpose of authorities.

That brings me to my final point. Then I would love to hear from you. We see perfect love, respect and authority in the relationship of the Father and Christ. Christ was in perfect submission to the Father. (John 6:35-40) It was the Father's will that Christ yielded to in everything. Christ pointed to the Father in all things. Then the Father turns around and points to the Son. (John 1:33-34) What an awesome picture of love, respect and authority. I see the scripture telling us we need all three working in concert.

What does that mean practically? To the mom and dad you have to carry your authority from a place of love and not power. We have talked over and over about this in our home. It is love and not power. What do we naturally do and or think of those who use their power over you? If you examine your heart, you will know without a shadow of a doubt that the forcefully powerful lose every time. Let's take a second look at Christ. Over and over He could have exercised His power but every time he displayed love. Guess what that does? It draws the loved person closer. Their respect and love increases as a result.

Last week I was DONE! Do you hear me DONE! However my husband really walked our family through the truth of love, respect and authority. When there is love, grace, patience, long suffering, gentleness and clearly defined expectations there will be respect. You don't even have to fight for it. There will be a natural out pour of respect. I think last week I was ready to fight for respect. I do mean fight! However, from the scriptures I see that love is how respect is gained.

Titus Twosday "Modesty in 2010?!"

2010-05-25T00:25:00.002-05:00

Take a journey with me as we talk about modesty as it relates to Christianity. I will say now if it hurts say “OUCH” and make the needed changes. If you are fine then encourage another woman to be more aware of her need to dress modestly. Okay, so you may be wondering where all this began.

About two days ago Phil was listening to a sermon by C.J. Mahaney about modesty. Then Saturday we went to Wild River Country (a water Park in Arkansas) for the day. After careful review of the scripture, the message (by CJ) and a close look at the world we live in I was horrified. I was horrified by the dress of others and at times my own dress. I will say when the topic of modesty is brought to the table women usually leave it at a condition of the heart. What is your motive in dressing this way or that? To that I agree and at the same time we have to take that a little further.

Look at some scriptures.

1 Timothy 2:8-10 (ESV)

8I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; 9likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.

1 Peter 3:3-6 (ESV)

3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Proverbs 11:22 (ESV)

22Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout

is a beautiful woman without discretion.

After the visit to the water park I was pretty much in shock. Young girls wearing those triangle string bikinis that not only showed the tops and sides of their breast but the bottom too! The list of things goes on and on for inappropriate attire. Since I listened to that message by CJ I could only think of the men who wanted to have a day of adventure with their families having to endure breast and butt in their face every where they turned. It doesn’t even end at the females. I can’t even count how many times I got a full moon shine from some guy wearing his swim shorts too low. Both genders are attempting to show as much as possible to as many people as possible. This breaks my heart. I have to ask why? What has happened in our world that is creating this type of monster? I should not be surprised. There is nothing new under the sun. Modesty seems to change depending on the time period. This is why I agree with an individuals dress being an issue of the heart, but what is the rest?

I will be honest and say for many years I just felt like if a guy has a lust problem he needs to seek the Lord about it. I should not have to cover my whole body only revealing my hands and face for his sake. My mind is changing. You could say my mind is being renewed! I don’t want to appear as an Amish woman or a prostitute. My desire is to dress as the scripture calls us…respectable and modest. The trouble is what does that look like. I did some research on the web and found many, many articles about modesty, even clothing websites were you can purchase modest apparel. Some I thought were way over the top. But could I just be a product of this culture and be missing the mark as well? There is a fine line between legalism and license. I will connect you with one of the websites that I personally found very helpful. It did not seem legalistic at all. It seems to serve as a guideline. I’ll post that later. Moving to the reason why I believe this is a problem in our culture.

I think several things have happened. Women have not been teaching the younger women as Titus 2 instructs. I also believe women have forgotten or misunderstood what truly makes them beautiful. It is not the outer beauty that is lasting but the hidden person of the heart. That is what God looks for in his daughters. This is what we should be reflecting to the world.

I stated earlier that there were some things I needed to change as well. I am busty. Anyone who has seen me is well aware of that fact. It can not be hidden from anyone. You might ask Nicolle, “Why are you making this statement while talking about modesty?” Why not? We all have to identify what about our body’s poses a stumbling block to the opposite gender. Then pay special attention when leaving the house that, that particular area is well covered or doesn’t command undue attention. Women you are designed with hills and valleys that are visually pleasing to men. The goal in that was not for you to turn every man’s head when you walk in a room but to turn your husbands head. Your body is for your husband, not every Tim, Terry and Tom. So toning things down in public is a wonderful idea.

Here are some questions for us all to consider.

1. What would you tell a young girl about modesty? What does it mean?

2. What do you personally do to remain modest in your appearance?

3. If a woman in your church said your dress was immodest what would you do or say?

Now here is some material for you to consider.
http://www.purefashion.com/ this site has a great modesty guideline allows you have some style.
http://www.achristianhome.org/ a great resource to other sites about modesty
http://www.therebelution.com/ an interesting movement about youth rebelling against the cultural expectations of immodesty.

Ministry Monday! Your Family is your FIRST ministry!

2010-05-24T13:14:00.006-05:00

This Ministry Monday is very interesting. There are a lot of AWESOME events on the horizon. I will share them all with you. But first I have to talk about my most important ministry. That is my husband and children. Some of you may have read my "being his crown" post or even the "wednesday in the word" post last week. Both of those post at the very heart of them were about my family. So, I thought I give an update on that. We are doing well! My husband is all over it in every way. For that I am thankful. My kids are being redirected and I am blessed at what I see in them. The evidence of grace is all our lives is abundant! It is my heart that we truly keep a healthy balance between ministry inside and outside the home. Our lives are a witness of Christ all the time everyday, not just my family but yours too. It is neccessary that our first disciples (children) not be neglected while making disciples of others. I think we should all be doing both. Making disciples of our children and others. This is just a reminder to me that I must wash my children in the word as we go about each and everyday. We must seek out teachable moments with our children "by the way, as we go about our day." The same thing goes for making disciples of others. As we are in the marketplace (Kroger), the mall, at the library....make disciples. You don't have to go overseas to make disciples. You can and should start in your home and then with the neighbor etc. etc. This is a warning to all (myself included). Don't neglect your family to reach the neighbor across the seas. That is actually failure and speaks ill of the gospel. I am not indicating that your family should be perfect before doing anything outside. I am however pointing out our need to look deeper into the needs of the disciples that God has automatically given us. For the husband, you have automatic disciples...wife and children. For the wife...you have automatic disciples...children and holding the husband accountable. You are his accountablity partner in all things. Then from there we make disciples of all men (peoples).

So, I just wanted to give an update on our purposeful, clear direction within our family as we serve first one another, then the many men and women that God places in our path.

Okay , so now what is happening with the City of Hope Outreach?

1. Continuing to build relationships in and around this city!

2. June 19, 2010 is the next God, Gospel and Poverty Seminar this is an awesome way to learn about the needs of the poor in your city and how to be a blessing and not another welfare agency.

3. June 21-25, 2010 we are partnered the United Way to help with there Day of Action. We will assist with and have created service project around the city of Conway for men and women to volunteer with. We will have people all over downtown Conway holding signs with stats about poverty in our city. We are super excited about this.

4. I am heading up a group of ladies to attend the True Woman's Conference in Fort Worth Texas in October. We still have openings so if you would like to come along with us, contact me. This is an invitation to all women.

5. Community Lunch This Sunday in Oakwood. Those are always fun to be apart of. We will gather for worship as usual at 1:00pm and then break bread during the message for an awesome time of biblical fellowship. Come and join us if you can.

6. King's Club will be meeting twice per week (tues. and thurs.) beginning in June until early August.

7. We have CoHO vehicle stickers for sale. They are $5 each. They look just like the picture at the top of this blog post. They are all white and super cool.

If you are interested in participating in any of these activities and need more detail please leave a comment or email me directly at nfletcher9705@gmail.com

Thanks

Nicolle

FHM Being His Crown "Blessed to be His Crown"

2010-05-21T00:20:00.000-05:00

This FHM “Being His Crown” is all about the blessing of being his crown. We have talked over and over about how important it is that we embrace the true beauty and blessing we are to our husbands. Today I am compelled to share how I am blessed to be the crown worn by my husband. You might call this a bragging session but you shouldn’t! You should call this true rejoicing in the Lord for His provision and wonderful grace displayed in my husband, which should in turn cause you to look at the wonderful blessing your husband is to you. Really consider the fact that your husband could be married to any woman in the world but you are the chosen one! Take a moment to recall that girlfriend of yours who told you about a problem she was experiencing in her marriage. The first thought in your head was, “Oh my…I am thankful not to be married to that man!” The truth is we all have struggles but not every woman is equipped to deal with every struggle. So the struggles you experience in your marriage will be specific to what the Lord is working out in your life. (Okay so I obviously went off on a tangent somewhere. We are back on track now).

Wednesday I experienced one of the worst parenting days of my life. I am aware that it won’t be the last. Anyway, my husband and I rotate morning wake up with the kids. Wednesday was my morning. The kids were in a crazy place and had been for sometime. They seem to have crazy attitudes and all kinds of other issues right now. Needless to say there was a whole lot of chaos that morning. My husband called me into the bedroom and asked me what was wrong. So, I just poured my heart out. I explained to him how the kids are rude to one another, disrespectful and on and on. I went on to say I was diligently searching for what the scripture has to say about respect and authority. I told him that I was worried that they are learning all their ugly behavior from me. I blame myself for their attitudes and whatever else was wrong. He then said, “I will take care of it. We will meet tonight at dinner and address this problem.” He comforted and reassured me that I was not to blame for their behavior. After that I just wept on his chest for about twenty minutes. The kids were still around talking and asking questions, commanding attention etc. My King put an end to all of it! We got the school children off to school and the homeschooled child on to schooling.

Then one of the most amazing things took place. My husband and I made love in such a way that brought healing to my soul. Okay, I do realize I am writing this is on my very public blog, but the Song of Solomon is also very public scripture! Back to the moment, as our bodies intertwined so did our hearts. God used my husband as a protector, provider, prophet, healer, lover and king. My tears were swallowed by his strength. Phil heard and responded to the depths of my pain. Understand that this was not done in his strength. He was able to love and bring healing because of what Christ has done for him. He was in tune with my need by God’s grace.

That evening we sat at the dinner table ate about 3/4th of the meal and then my husband began to speak. He explained that there was going to be a new order in our house. He also took full responsibility for the problem of harsh tone in our house. He explained where it began and how it will end. Christ is our focus and we love because he loved. The hammer was laid down and it was awesome. But he did not leave us with a hammer alone. He then explained how we need to speak to one another in light of the gospel. We need to look for the evidences of grace in the lives of our family members. He spoke as a prophet and protector which brought healing to our whole family. He even purchase a mini, mini container of ice cream for every family member. He explained how Jesus often spoke to the disciples around a meal. Therefore we get to partake of this correction and redirection with joy. That night got to share how we see God working in each of our lives. Before we even think of giving correction we need to see evidence of God’s grace in the life of the other individual. It was clear that he had taken in what I said and then sought Christ for clear direction and just laid it out in the most loving and direct way possible.

I am a very blessed woman! I am privileged to be worn on the head of this man. I love the way he loves me, attends to me, directs me in light of scripture, seeks the Father, looks well to the ways of his household and totally and completely has my back. Translation he would be willing to give of his very life for me. That is the kind of man I have. I am worn on his head in this life forever! Praise the Living God for His gift of love towards me through my husband.

What do you have to share about the man who wears you on his head? You don’t have to share a super long story like I did or you can. I would love to hear how blessed you are to be worn by your man!

Wednesday's Word!

2010-05-19T00:00:00.001-05:00

What does the scripture have to say about respect? I am on a quest to define and completely nail this topic. We are called to respect in a million different ways. Wives see to that you respect your husband. Children obey your parents. I think that is a type of respect. You have to have some level of respect in order to obey another person. Right? Well, today I am looking for your help. Throw out some scriptures and definitions about respect.

Is it disrespectful for a child to express themselves to a parent and point their finger at them?

Is it respectful to be brutally honest with someone?

Is it respectful to call a person older than you by their first name?

What examples in scripture can we look to in order to understand respect better?

Are the lines black and white? Is there gray area? Let's take some time to look at this.

I found these scriptures in the concordance of my bible:

Matthew 21:37 (this passage describes a lack of respect),
Romans 13:7 (about giving proper respect to the appropraite people)
I Thessalonians 5:12 (giving respect to those over you, because they labour and love you)
I Peter 2:18 (being respectful even in the really hard areas)

What can you find? What can we look at together?

Our goal is to understand RESPECT from a biblical perspective. Respect in relationships such as husband and wife, parent and child, older and younger, and finally peer to peer.

Titus Twosday!

2010-05-17T23:55:00.000-05:00

This came to me from a friend by email. The scripture spoke to me and brought with it life. Isn't that awesome when God's word does what He says it will do! Anyway, I thought I'd post some of the content because it was a blessing to me. After you read it I will explain why it was such a blessing to me. You can share if it blesses you too.

Psalm 128:1-4

Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways!
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed and it shall be well with you.
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine (i.e., a bringer of joy like wine, and the mother of children) within your house; your children will be like olive shoots (full of energy and promise) around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.

Wives, bring joy to their house.
Wives, love your own spouse well. (will bring joy!!)
Mothers, faithfully train your children in godliness. (will bring peace and joy)
Mothers, view your children as God does. (full of energy and promise)
Single women, learn from the women around you how to love your future spouse and train children in godliness.

What an awesome list of things you are to your family! I am encouraged as wife and convicted as mother! I am encouraged to know that I bring joy to my home according to the scriptures. It is encouraging to know that loving my husband brings joy to me and him. I am convicted in my role as mother. Particularly the part of viewing my children as God does, full of energy and promise. I have forgotten this biblical perspective. I have gotten busy thinking they should already be in a place that they are striving towards yet have not attained. Therefore, I have become impatient. It was this text that opened my eyes to the truth of God's love towards me. I mean really! My kids are currently at difficult stages in their live. But, I am always in a difficult stage when it comes to Christ. I am needy and try to be independent. I am foolish and attempt to be wise. Does this sound like a kid to you? It does to me.

So the scripture above is my prayer for my family. Ultimately, that we would all fear the Lord and walk in HIS ways. As we sit at the table I would know we are blessed because of the food that is there (indication of work) and the family that surrounds me (indication of God's blessings). May I look upon my children with the love and adoration of the Father, even in the midst of my wrong. Let love, joy, peace and long suffering be my name.

What say you?

Somethin' for the Funnies!

2010-05-17T10:53:00.000-05:00

So I have been in all kinds of worship services....but this one is NEW TO ME! What do you think?

FHM Being His Crown....Blast from the Past How did you Compare?

2010-05-14T05:30:00.001-05:00

Last week Angie posted a chart to score how a woman in 2010 compared to a woman in 1930's. So, how many of you asked your husband to score you? Well, I did! It was super fun and very eye opening! My raw score was 9 which makes me an official failure as a wife in the 1930's. Praise the Lord that His ordains the seasons and times in which we live. Phil's comment after taking the test was, "I am going to divorce my wife according to Jewish Law and find another one because she will NOT allow me to sleep late on Sunday!" Please that was a joke. :)

Here is the old chart.

Let's make our own chart for 2010!

What should the standard be? What should you get a merit or a demerit for? This a list that my husband and I came up with. Test yourself in the same manner as the old chart subtracting the demertis from the merits. If it has a (D) next to it, well that is a demerit. If it has a (M) next to it, it is a merit. Every question is worth 1 point unless otherwise noted with a number in ( ). Then it subtract the merits from th demerits and get your raw score. Use the original chart interpretations of your scores. Have fun! I will share with you my 2010 woman interpretations at the end.

1. Slow to eagerly participate in sex (D)(5)

2. Able to watch and understand sports without questions (M)

3. Able to make food from scratch (M)

4. Calls her mother or father to complain about husband (D)

5. Wears granny panties because they are comfortable (D)

6. Talks to people on Face book more than you (D)(5)

7. Can be found texting or on the computer longer than tending to the family (D)

8. Has a higher paying job than you (D)

9. Seeks to be like Mother Eve, and dominates her husband (D)(5)

10. Female friends over your house all the time(D)

11. Able to redesign the house on a budget(M)

12. Leaves notes about how wonderful you are(M)

13. Actually makes dinner for the family (M)

14. Is welcoming to guest (M)

15. Always seeking “ME TIME” (D)(5)

16. Keeps the cabinets filled with food you enjoy (M)

17. Is a great entertainer(M)

18. Creates a home atmosphere that is pleasant to come home to (M) (10)

19. Has other women that she faithfully disciples(M)

20. Has a special talent or gift that is complementary to yours.(M) (5)

21. Drops the kids off to school in pajamas(D)

22. Thinks of creative things to do with family (M)

23. Is rude, loud and opinionated about everything (D)

24. Hides while changing clothes (D)

I took my own test and failed again! This time however I scored a 15 I am moving up the charts. I did discover that the test is designed to make you fail. You can only score a maximum of 25 points and that leaves you as a poor housewife to say the least. So ladies don't be discouraged you are still "being his Crown". I hope you enjoyed this little experiment.

~Nicolle~

3R Tutoring End of Year slide show

2010-05-11T00:16:00.000-05:00

One of the obstacles to overcoming poverty is education and opportunity. The 3R’S Tutoring program is an opportunity to reinforce education essentials in reading, writing and mathematics. 3R’s Tutoring will also assist children in grades 1-12 in homework, college preparation and exposure to other educational opportunities.

The video you will see was put together by the tutors that made 3R Tutoring possible for the 2010. We are looking forward to having more volunteers and students involved in the tutoring program for the 2010-2011 school year. Thank you again to all who made this year possible! Enjoy the video slide.

3R Tutoring Overview from CITY OF HOPE OUTREACH on Vimeo.

Friday's Homemaker Moments

2010-05-07T10:16:00.000-05:00

In lieu of our regular discussion about how we are currently being our husband’s crown, this week I would like to take a look back to a former era for a little comparing. I think we’re all aware, on some level, of the changes that have come about in women’s roles here in the U.S. and I found this great little checklist on line that will solidify our predictions. This “Woman’s Chart” was unearthed by some psychologists and is an actual document used by marriage counselors in the late 1930’s. To me it really speaks volumes about how different the role of a house wife really is today.

Now I realize that not everyone is a housewife, but I would love to see what all of our husbands have to say about our performances. So the assignment this week is to give your husband the “Wife’s Chart” and see how you measure up! You can post your scores in the comments or point out a specific area that you find interesting/ridiculous/unattainable.

Next week we’ll be discussing more about the differences between the 1930’s wife and the 2010 wife. I mean, I think I’m pretty much June Cleaver reincarnate, but it never hurts to take a good hard look at reality. Know what I mean?

Take a look!

~Angie

Homemaker Chronicles

Wednesday's Word

2010-05-05T07:09:00.002-05:00

Titus Twosday...P31 Fears!

2010-04-27T09:48:00.000-05:00

I have to ask this question. Does the Proverbs 31 woman bring thoughts of fear to your mind? Does she intimidate you? Is she the standard by which you seek and find yourself failing time and time again?

I do have to say I think every Christian woman has struggled with this thought. First off I need to say sister you are not alone! Let’s take a quick look at the woman described in this text.

Proverbs 31:10-31
The Woman Who Fears the LORD

10An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet
22She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29"Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

As I look at this verse, I see this woman handling business. I don’t know how many children she has or the type of chaos she experiences on a daily basis. But I can very clearly see what she is doing. Her husband trusts her to basically make things happen. She provides food and makes ready for the rough weather. She is selling and purchasing property. She is making things with her hands and then selling them for assistance within her home. Bottom line she is a busy woman with many talents and skills that she uses to provide for her family.

Here is the thing we don’t always get. Go back and look at the bold italics.

• She is far more precious than jewels.

• She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.

• Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.

• Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

A woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

• Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

The P31 woman is not really about all the things you can do in one day or week. It is about who you are! This woman is strong, faithful, diligent, supportive, giving and considerate. That is who she IS, not what she does. The things she does is a result of who she is! Am I making sense? I think we spend a lot of time trying to find the check list of things to do that we forget to simply be! But the truth is if you are in Christ you already are. Don’t allow this woman to cause you to fear, stumble or worry! The things you do are because of who you are.

Take sometime and examine your life. Ask yourself why do I DO this or that? Am I DOING something because I think I must do it for the favor of God, the praise of men, or to fulfill my Christian role/duty? What is the real deal? Search your own heart. In searching ask the Lord to reveal the true you to yourself. Ask Him to help you to just BE! It is the same with our relationship with Christ. We don’t do a whole bunch of things and then hope Christ will love us, receive us and accept us. It is the complete opposite. God loves, accepts and receives us in spite of us. He changes our heart and mind, and then He will cause us to do because of what already is.

I do pray this makes sense to you. It is very freeing to not compare yourself to every good thing every Christian woman does. The woman described in this text is a great woman who, like I said before is handling business. But the real question is to what purpose and for what is she doing these things. I would argue because of her relationship with Christ and the true value she had placed on her husband and family.
It is because she is that she does!

Ministry Monday!

2010-04-26T07:00:00.001-05:00

This Ministry Monday is all about ministry with children. You know I have three children. My oldest Nicollus is 11, then Najee’ who is 9 and finally Nichelle at 8. They are truly a handful on every level. I think mostly because as I speak with them, it is like I am talking to myself or my husband. They are truly mini we’s! Today I shared with a MOPS group, practical ways to incorporate your children in ministry. I will begin by saying children are often left out of most parent’s ministry efforts. Somehow I don’t see that as I view scripture. In Deuteronomy the scripture tell us to teach our children by the way, and as we go. That simply put, as you live out the gospel teach your children what you are doing, why you are doing and then give them responsibility so they will do the same.

How have our children learned to serve in this ministry alongside us? I will be the first to note the contribution my children make every single day is huge! There thoughts are often towards the needs of others in a big way. While we still need to work on not fighting for who gets to hold the cell phone or be the first player on the wii, they are miles ahead when it comes to the true need of people at their core.

We have spent and still do spend a lot of time in family devotions. Phil took the whole family through a Greek class, a study through the book of Acts, Saturday Morning discipleship classes, dinner devotions, breakfast devotions, around the fireplace devotions and discussions. We talk about the scriptures often. We look for ways to apply God’s word to our daily lives. Ministry is not something you do when you arrive at a certain place on Sunday or whatever day of the week. It is a lifestyle! It is the air you breath, because of the God we serve!

Ministry in Oakwood…

In the beginning it was Phillip, me, Nicollus, Najee’ and Nichelle. Every Sunday morning beginning in September 2007 our children would wake up and help load my van with speakers and about 20 folding chairs. Then they would unload all the chairs and help set up and organize the space. Nicollus would help Phil with the sound system. And after we worshipped we would do it all over again! What a task for such little people. Once we arrived in the park the kids would pair up with a parent and knock on doors. Nichelle has always been the boldest one! She would often knock on doors like she was the po po (that was hood for police). They all spoke boldly for Christ. It was awesome to see. They would lead songs and see about peoples needs it was great. They were concerned for the children living in the different conditions we allowed them to be exposed to. Nicollus had a boy in his class who lived in the park. The boy’s glasses were broken. It was all my son could do to make sure that kid had a new pair of glasses. My kids would save their clothes. They would pick out cool toys they had and or no longer used and gave them away... often! We spent a lot of time talking about the types of things you give to people. Our rule is if you would be offended that someone gave that you…don’t give it to someone else! We don’t give away trash to anyone! That really made sense to them and they will get on to people if they bring something to us for donation that is trashy.

Nicollus my oldest has lead groups of people through the park to witness. There was a team of college students who had a heart to serve. We take people in groups. We needed someone to lead a group and my son said, “I’ll take them!” So, Phil agreed to let him take the group around. At the end of the day the group came back and said, “Your son did all the work. He talked to people and guided us through conversations.” I was experienced this with my son also. We were talking to some new residents. The conversation ended with Nicollus taking over and telling the older gentleman about the hope of Christ. Again I was blown away! Yet, very thankful.

We had a Sunday early on, and the weather was off and on with rain and thunderstorm. It would rain and thunder then the sun would break forth. So we had a family meeting to vote on whether or not we would meet in the park. Oh, let me add a few details. We meet outside in a trailer park. Okay so now we are voting, I’ll be honest and say I was feelin’ the whole stay at home thing. But, Nichelle said “We need to go because people need to hear the Gospel!” Really?! Who could argue with that? So we went and the day was beautiful for the entire time we were there. Then as soon as we packed up and were all in the car it burst into rain and thunderstorms. God is amazing!

Najee’ was reluctant. She was always asking when are we going back to normal church (she would make the hand motion of a roof while she spoke) with a roof! I think her biggest concern was all the work she had to put in before and after we gathered to worship. Now she is all over it! Her gifts are acts of service. She wants to bake and babysit for people all the time. She is thoughtful in deed. I’d say she has the wannabe momma ministry!

I have watched my children grow in ways unimaginable for people their age. They have an awareness of things that I have wondered, is that okay? But in the end that awareness is used for the Glory of Christ and the Joy of People. They are disciples.

Today they love to attend tutoring. Nicollus will be representing CoHO at the Universities in the fall. He is seeking to become a tutor as well. He helps to lead with King’s Club and loves to really get to work on the Nehemiah Projects. Najee’ wants to feed the world. She will see someone and wants to feed them or buy them lunch or bake something. She is usually in charge of helping in food serving. She will make sure everyone is feed. While Nichelle fully enjoys participating with the children. She has the heart that will make kids feel loved and welcomed. She attends tutoring just be around the kids. My kids are open and very real with us as parents. They are quick to let us know if they are feeling neglected due to serving others. They are also quick to say, “It is important that you do this or that.” I really love my children. Phil and I tell them all the time how thankful to God we are for them. They are a blessing in our lives and they bring the balance we need in ministry.

Okay and the very last thing that we LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to do is Ding, Dong Bless! We may purchase groceries, clothes, a cooked dinner, toys or something we know the other person has been longing for and we place it at their door, ring the door bell and run away as fast as they can while I’m in the car ready to drive away. It is the most fun ever! You should try it with your kids sometime. But be sure to plan your escape route first! ;)

I could tell fun stories all day. The bottom line is that your kids need to be as important in your ministry as the people you serve and those adults who serve alongside you. Their thoughts need to be considered and you have to give them some responsibility. Finally live a life of real Christ Centered Gospel before them!

Being His Crown FHM

2010-04-23T11:10:00.001-05:00

Today let's take it back to the beginning back to basics. I want to talk about being his crown in physical form. I know we have gone over this in times past but I certainly think it is worth reviewing. Let's talk about Adam and Eve! In Genesis 2:22-25 Adam is put to sleep and this creature appears before him. The vision of her causes Adam to burst into song. I could imagine him saying FINALLY look at this....WO MAN! Then in verse 25 the scripture highlights that they were naked and unashamed. I am going to take that information and go from there.

PHYSICAL FORM.....Naked and Unashamed!

Do we have shame in our nakedness before our spouse? Please know I realize this was the state of man and woman before the fall. I do however believe we can be naked and unashamed with our husband today because of the redemptive work of Christ. I have often wondered what Eve's physical form looked like. Maybe that is the body I should seek after. Then, truth hits me hard. Eve was Adam's mark of all things beautiful. We have become that same mark of excellent beauty for our own husband. This is a message to not short change yourself or your husband by being shameful or timid because you don't like your look. I have now come to believe that magazines, books and images in general are not only concerns for men (who are visually simulated), but us too! We look at these things and instantly compare. We compare ourselves to images that are sometimes not real. We now know there is great technology that will allow a woman to be sculpted in a photograph to look totally different than she does in reality. Now, let's remove the excuse of airbrushing technology. Say a woman looks fabulous in every physical way. What does that have to do with you and your husband? Nothing! It doesn't matter what other women look like! The physical form of another should not be your standard of beauty. As we do this "dance" of comparison we deny our husbands the crown they long for in us. I would even say the issue of comparison is as big a problem as porn. Why, because it distorts reality. The reality is you may have booty do (where your belly sticks out further than your booty do), flabby arms, saggy bottom, huge calves, skinny legs, moles, freckles, crazy hair, hair in your chin and on and on. Friend I want to encourage you as I have to for myself! YOUR PHYSICAL FORM IS PERFECT FOR YOUR HUSBAND AS IS!

We are ashamed because of the sin of comparison and dissatisfaction. The bible would call that coveting, murmuring, complaining and discontentment! Ladies lets seek to be FREE!

I won't pretend that some of us could be healthier. Yes, if you feel unhealthy then do something about it. But don't make everyone around you suffer because you are unhealthy and are not doing anything about it. If you are the woman that is seeking and actively working on being healthier, great! Take it one day at a time and embrace the physical form you have now as you make the transition to a healthier you!

To the woman who says it is not me but my husband who is not satisfied:

Whether your husband fully understands this truth or not, it is none the less the truth. If your husband is asking you to gain/lose weight, gain/lose breast, gain/lose butt, gain/lose muscle or whatever, your goal should be to pray that the Lord would help your husband to see the pure beauty (physical form and character) that you are. Pray that God would cause his eyes only to be for you in every way. In the mean time give yourself unashamed before him. That will change things in this area for both of you.

Assignment:

1. Stand naked before your husband three times this week!

2. Let him see you change your clothes.

3. Pray for his heart to seek you as his standard of beauty and none other.

4. Pray for your heart to see yourself as a beautiful offering for your husband in every way!

Being His Crown (FHM)

2010-04-16T10:07:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I recieved a message from Nicole in my inbox. It was a blessing to me. I have been saying that I have all these thoughts that I can't seem to complete, then the Lord brings someone along who is in the same place as me and helps me along. So I have posted the words below for you to read and enjoy. I will comment about it then you can read it.

The Lord is amazing in this regard as well. Angie and I are working together on this Being his Crown series. Well, we hadn't even discussed a topic for today. I sent her the message that was sent to me. Then, I checked out her blog and her Being his Crown about this very topic. I think this is where the Lord is desiring his daughters to be this day! So enjoy.

Wives and Mothers need to take, make, create and or carve out time for themselves to just be! I have found this school year that my life has drastically altered. In that process I seldom take a break for just me! Whether it be for me to just read the word, or pray, or take a walk around the neighborhood alone. I like many women have felt that I could not do that because so many things and people need me. To take a break would indicate leaving something undone. I love my children and in the same breath I need time away from them. This is something that pre-school and homeschooling moms need to really consider. Your job is 24/7 and not many people will tell you to take a break...it is not often an option. Here is what I realized though, if I don't take the break I will be less than the wife and mother I desire to be. It is in me to love my husband, it is in me to nurture my children, but when I have nothing of me to give that is when it all goes bad. I go to the rock that is higher than I.

So I encourage each one of you to read this article and take the rest that you need in order to function in the beauty and joy of wife and mother.

Taking "Mom Time" is not selfish... it's a part of your job!

"I feel guilty when I blow it with my kids and I feel guilty when I take time for myself. I just can't win!" lamented my friend sitting across from me at a local coffee shop. It was a mommy meltdown at its very best.

I reassured her. I've been there. We've all been there. We know we need to take some time to refill our emotional tank, but we feel guilty doing so because it often means doing something away from the family. But then the guilt keeps us from taking care of ourselves and we end up with no reserves when we're disciplining our kids and we blow it. It's a common cycle that most moms experience.

I ran that cycle for years until one day it hit me: taking care of myself is part of my job description as a mom! It's my responsibility. Nobody is going to do it for me. I have to learn to do it myself. Before I'm on empty. Before I'm at the end of my rope. Proactively...not reactively.

With Mother's Day around the corner, I'd like to make a suggestion. Let's each give ourselves a Mother's Day gift. This would be a life-giving gift to us and to our family. Let's commit to putting something in our schedule that fills us up: exercise, scrapbooking, one night out a week with a girlfriend, an hour at the library, a walk, prayer, reading the Bible, sitting on the porch with a cup of tea...whatever activity would fill your emotional fuel tank!

Yes, it will take some effort. Sometimes it will even feel like a hassle. But it's worth it! And it is needed on a regular basis. You and I can't give to our families out of emptiness...we need to give to our families out of the overflow of our heart! The only way a heart can overflow is if it's filled to the brim.

Jesus pulled away from the crowds to refuel. We can follow His example and do the same.

Keeping hearts at home,

Jill Savage

Wife of Mark

Mom to Anne, Evan, Erica, Kolya, and Austin (and Grandma in about 3 weeks!)

Click here for more on how to take the break you need to function with excellence as a wife and mother.

Thinking on Thursday!

2010-04-15T10:54:00.000-05:00

So I am thinking about my need to love as Christ loves. I am thinking about what it cost Christ to love people who hated him and would continue in that hatred by their actions all their natural born lives. The ones that say, "I am on your team Christ and I love you" will abuse, neglect, disrespect, turn away from and disobey the very Christ they claim to be on the same side as.

What makes it hard for us to LOVE like Christ? I will be the first to say (not gladly though), that if I know you hate me or are going to abuse me I am not going to go out of my way to love or serve you. But what does that say about what Christ did for me? What does that say about my love for others? What does God want from His children in this regard?

Friend in the faith, how I long to release all of my cares, worries and fears aside and love. I mean really, truly LOVE without fear of the imperfect individual. I think that is what Paul means when he said "count it all as loss". We need to count everything in this life as loss "for the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ." Phillipians 3:8

My prayer this day is that I will truly count my life and everything I have as loss for the surpassing worth of knowing Christ. This my friend is a hard saying! I don't think we realize what this means.....I am only beginning to understand the gravity of this statement! Lord help me to walk this out in spirit and in truth!

Wednesdays Word

2010-04-14T18:10:00.001-05:00

I have been working on all kinds of post, yet I can't seem to complete one! Mentally I am all over the place, Emotionally I am all over the place, Physically I am all over the place, Spiritually I am grounded but wrestling! So would you pray?

I will leave these words with you and me!

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Ministry Monday

2010-04-12T00:20:00.002-05:00

The article below was published yesterday Sunday April 11, 2010 in the Arkansas Democrat Gazette. Please read and enjoy!

RIVER VALLEY and OZARK AREA — The first time Gary Harrison, a white man, saw Phillip Fletcher, a black preacher, in the mobile home park in Conway where Harrison lives, a drunk Harrison screamed and cursed at him to leave.

When Fletcher left Harrison’s mobile home after a visit on a recent afternoon, Harrison hugged him, slapping him affectionately on the back - even gave him a quick kiss on the side of his face.

“You’re my brother, man,” Harrison said. “I love you, but don’t tell nobody.”
Fletcher laughed and walked slowly through the trailer park, wearing a backpack and looking like a college student instead of a 37-year-old who made Oakwood Village mobile home park, at 475 E. Robins St., his mission and started City of Hope Outreach.

“Gary and I - that’s after three years,” Fletcher explained. “You can’t do this type of thing looking for immediate results. I come out with a lot of grace looking for God to do something.”

That something has been more than telling people about the Bible. It’s grown into a mission that helps people with food and utility bills, cleans up the park and tutors the children who live there with the help of community, church and college volunteers.

Fletcher got there by taking a wrong turn.

He was working at the Pulaski County Clerk’s Office in Little Rock and fulfilling his final requirements to be an Army chaplain. One day after work in 2007, he turned right off Harkrider Street instead of left to go home. “I had this impression on my heart to make a right onto Robins. ... I said, ‘This is where I’m supposed to preach the Gospel,’” he recalled. “This is a community, Chateau Ghetto, affectionately, if you will,” Fletcher said.

His wife, Nicolle, was a little skeptical when he told her. “I was like, ‘No, that’s not what we’re doing. That doesn’t make sense to me.’ I thought he’d lost it,” Nicolle Fletcher recalled.

Fletcher kept his paying job - at first. Fletcher said that as he started the ministry in the mobile home park, Nicolle’s father was retiring and closing his church and had chairs and a sound system for them. “We got all the stuff we needed and went out there, and nobody showed up,” Fletcher recalled with a chuckle. “We just set up the stuff, sang some songs - I play the guitar - opened up the Bible and said the message. So we kept coming every Sunday,” he said. Fletcher’s wife and their three children, ages 11, 9 and 8, participate in the ministry with him.

“We started knocking on doors, ... and people thought it was a strange thing,” he said, but people began to wander to the grassy spot where Fletcher was holding church; some just slowed down in their vehicles with the windows rolled down to listen. Now as many as 50 people gather at 1 p.m. on Sundays, a combination of Oakwood residents and people from outside the park. “It’s organized chaos,” Fletcher said, describing the scene. But however he can get the message across - that God loves them and that there’s hope - he’s willing to do it.

It wasn’t just about singing a few hymns and reading out of the Bible, though. “Over time, what I realized was, we’re out here preaching the Gospel, teaching about the love of Jesus Christ, but seeing all these needs people have in the community. We’re saying this, but you have to demonstrate the love of God as well,” he said. “For people outside in local churches, we started giving them an awareness of this community. Oakwood is like a city within a city, and you have good and bad parts of a city. One street, ... people own their trailers, keep them clean; the other part has problems: some crime, abuse, mental illness is present there.”

Fletcher said he was in Korea with the Army before he went to Iraq. “The fear of being in places that don’t look safe, I don’t have that,” he said.

He knocked on Gary Harrison’s trailer door one afternoon, reporter and photographer in tow. Fletcher said Harrison didn’t like him at first, mainly because he’s black. “He struggles with some things,” Fletcher said.
Harrison answered the door and told his daughter, whom he was talking to on the phone, he had to go because “my preacher is here.” Harrison apologized for being drunk. “Hey, I’ve got some money for you,” he told Fletcher, and Harrison went a couple of steps away into the tiny bedroom and came back with a big Bible. He opened it and handed Fletcher two $20 bills tucked inside the pages. “If you’re my friend, you’ll take it,” Harrison said when Fletcher hesitated. Fletcher had “helped him out” with rent. “I’ve lived a stupid life and I’ve met some stupid people,” Harrison, 59, said. “I’m an ex-criminal. Ex. That was 30, 40 years ago.” Harrison said he was in prison for 12 years for stealing a car in Michigan. Harrison said the only reason he agreed to talk to a reporter was because of Fletcher. “I trust him implicitly,” said Harrison, sitting on a twin bed in the living room, holding a cigarette in one hand, a bottle of whiskey in the other.

Fletcher won Harrison overslowly but surely. One day Harrison requested a song - “What a Friend We Have in Jesus,” he recalled - at a church service, and Fletcher kept talking to Harrison. “I’ve been racist. He (Fletcher) is a true person. He is a true person, and he has showed me myself, and he has showed me God.
“He has been there for me. I ain’t been busted in a long time.” Harrison said Fletcher has made a difference in the atmosphere in the park.

One woman who lives behind him and used to hate him now speaks to Harrison. “She comes by and says hello and says, ‘I love you,’” Harrison said. Harrison said he enjoys coming to Fletcher’s Sunday services, “when I’m not hung over.” “I’ve got a reputation to uphold,” he said. “This is Chateau Ghetto.” Fletcher points out other people he’s gotten to know in the park - this guy is a good handyman and helps with the ministry; the man’s wife knitted caps for people at Christmas. “People have started to take ownership and are trying to contribute in whatever way they can,” he said.

The turning point came in 2008, he said, when he spent the night in the park in a tent. “I said, ‘For these people to trust me, I have to spend the night out there.’ During that time, kids came out and they would sit and we would just talk about whatever. Then somebody would say, ‘Hey, are you hungry? We’ll give you a bologna sandwich to eat; that’s all we got,’” Fletcher recalled. Another resident offered to let Fletcher use his bathroom. “One guy, Robert, said, “OK, preacher - I hope you make it through the night!’ That was the turning point, because the next morning, it was Sunday, and Robert said, ‘Well, I see you made it through. It wasn’t that bad, was it?’” Fletcher said, “Typically, Christian organizations will go into neighborhoods that are notthe best, and we go in, we do our thing and we leave. God coming into the world, he became one of us, and that’s what I wanted to show them: I want to get to know you; I want to gain your trust. A lot of them, their trust has been violated again and again and again. They become survivors, too.” Fletcher also befriended a couple living near the mobile home park, Emilio and Nancy Marcial. They were raising their granddaughter because the girl’s mother is in prison. The Department of Human Services took the 10-year-old from the home because of multiple problems, Fletcher said. There were roaches, for one thing.

Fletcher and the City of Hope Outreach formed the Nehemiah Project, which “is just the project we have about community renewal and improvement in the area - having people clean up their homes, beautify the area around where they live. Like with Emilio and Nancy, getting them into a better living situation.” Students from Central Baptist College, New Life Church and the University of Central Arkansas spent a day moving the couple from the home to an apartment across town and cleaned the home to satisfy the rental requirement.

Emilio, a diabetic, had his legs amputated after an infection. Fletcher was able to get him an electric wheelchair. “They gave me a choice - cut ’em off or die in the next two months. I told them I wanted to live for my granddaughter,” Emilio said, looking tearful. Nancy said, “She is our life. We’re just waiting for her to come home.” Nancy, who said she struggles with bipolar disorder, told Fletcher that at a court hearing the day before, their grandchild was put into a mental-health facility. “They’re not telling me how long” she could be in the facility, Nancy said. “She has issues because of her mom and dad, but she’s not mentally ill,” Nancy maintained. “The courts were pleased with us,” she added. Fletcher asked the couple what the girl needed and promised to visit her. Nancy said the City of Hope Outreach made a difference in their lives. “Oh, Lord, they’ve done everything - moved us out of an old, cold, drafty house and moved us into this beautiful apartment.” She pointed out a photo of the large group of volunteers who helped them move and signed good wishes on the mat in the frame. Nancy said City of Hope Outreach and Fletcher “basically raised the [quality of] living there, ... and the church, it’s growing. There’s an awareness of God there.” She showed off her granddaughter’s bedroom down the hall, which was decorated in purple and turquoise and Hannah Montana posters. “She’s going to love it when she comes home,” Nancy said. There’s another court date in two months. “Yeah, I still have hope,” Nancy said.

Fletcher quit his full-time job in December to devote himself to the mission. Will he do it forever? “For right now, this is where I am,” he said. “I don’t look that far down the road. This is my second family. All of them are. As long as the Lord wants me to be here, I’m going to give my heart and soul to it.” - tkeith@ arkansasonline.com

This article was published today at 6:53 a.m.
River Valley Ozark, Pages 139 on 04/11/2010

More On Ministry Monday!

2010-04-11T17:12:00.000-05:00

This was another article written this past Sunday April 11, 2010 in the Arkansas Democrat Gazette
Ministry offers more than preaching

By Tammy Keith

RIVER VALLEY and OZARK AREA — It’s not just about the preaching.

City of Hope Outreach, which started in 2007 when Phillip Fletcher felt called to minister to Oakwood Village mobile home park in Conway, has evolved into a partnership with local churches and colleges to have cleanups, community meals and tutoring for the children, who attend Marguerite Vann Elementary School.

The soft-spoken founder, who left his Army chaplain track to start the outreach, said the idea is for people to “take ownership, improve and break this stereotype of what Conway thinks Oakwood is. “Regardless if you believe in Jesus or not, it’s getting them together and saying, ‘How can we improve this community ?'”

Students from Central Baptist College and the University of Central Arkansas in Conway volunteer to tutor children from 4-6 p.m. weekdays, except Thursdays.

Gage Jordan, 22, a graduate of CBC, is a member of the City of Hope Outreach pastoral team. He came Tuesday to set up the table and chairs for the tutoring. Jordan said a Conway police officer told him the department receives “about 600 calls a month” about the park.

Public Information Officer Chris Harris said, “I don’t know the numbers, but I know we get a lot of calls. In that area, it could be disturbances, domestics, just all kinds of calls. We’ve had shots-fired calls. You name it; we’ve had it.”

He said any program that “helps cleanup the community and helps introduce them to their neighbors” is helpful. “If you take a more personal interest in where you live, it’ll always help you,” Harris said. Fletcher said he wants to help “restore people, so we don’t continue to foster the welfare mentality.”

UCA student J.J. Holland of Cabot, who tutors in the park twice a week, said she wants to become a counselor. “I really just enjoy it - I like kids a lot,” she said. Holland said that in addition to helping the children learn, “it’s more of an empowerment thing [for them] - ‘I really can learn this; I really can be more than people think I am.’ They’re very eager to learn, very eager to be praised.” Jessiah Nelson, 8, a secondgrader who lives in the park, ran up to her. “Teacher, teacher! Can I get the snacks out?” he asked.

Before the tutoring starts, the students get snacks local churches have donated. Jessiah, who was all about the snacks, said Holland “helps me read - she listens to me read. She helps me do my math cards.” Hailey Gibson, also 8, came up full of energy after a day at school. She said the tutors help her with math, which is her hardest subject. Jenn Tong, 19, a freshman education major at UCA, worked with Hailey on math problems. Hailey, a second-grader at Marguerite Vann Elementary School, said she wants to be an author and a teacher when she grows up. Noting that she appreciates her teacher Lisa Wimberly, Hailey said she loves to read. She rummaged in the plastic tub of books and supplies that are kept in a storage shed in the park and found her favorite, Monday with a Mad Genius. “I love it - love it, love it, love it,” she said.

Dallas Whittaker, 11, rode up on his bicycle after the tutoring started. He has been getting help with math.
He said he heard about the tutoring through King’s Club, another City of Hope Outreach program. Nicolle Fletcher told Dallas he should try the tutoring.

King’s Club is held for an hour every other Saturday for the children in the park, Nicolle said. “We do a short Bible story, play games with the kids, give them a snack,” she said.

She said the mobile home park residents, which she estimated at 300, have welcomed the City of Hope Outreach. “Once they realized we were serious and really cared about them and weren’t looking at them as a project, the doors opened up,” Nicolle said. She added, “Christ stepped into human history and became like us on Earth. That’s why we go into their environment. It’s a mission field all its own.” The Fletchers are close to receiving nonprofit status for the organization, Phillip said, and more information about the ministry and ways to volunteer or donate can be found at http://www.cityhopeoutreach.com/.

Several churches in Conway have partnered with City Hope Outreach, including Peace Lutheran, Celebration Church and New Life Church’s college age youth group, Elevation. David Revis of Conway, an Elevation member and a UCA sophomore, led a Thanksgiving project to give out turkeys in the park. “It was really cool to talk these different people,” Revis said. “They were way more appreciative than anybody would have ever guessed.” Going into the trailers was an eye-opening experience, too. “I’ve been in one that was almost brand-spanking new on the inside; I’ve also been in one I think there were five holes the kitchen, with cats jumping and out. He didn’t have his gas electricity on,” Revis recalled.

Chi Alpha, a Christian ministry at UCA, has 50-75 students involved in the City of Hope Outreach each month. Jennifer Shiefer, a Chi Alpha staff member, said it’s “an amaz ing opportunity” for students. “I think City of Hope needsthe manpower our students provide,” Shiefer said, “and I think our students need the connection the City of Hope provides. “We invest a lot of time and really try to teach our students to walk out their Christianity and not have it be a once-a-week kind of thing, but have it transform deep inside who they are.”

Nicolle Fletcher said the ministry has had an effect on her family, too, which includes three children. “From the very beginning, it was just a transformation for all of us,” Nicolle said. She said she enjoys looking at the scene on Sundays of white, black, Hispanic, all coming together. “At the end of the day, it boils down to we’re pretty much the same,” she said.

- tkeith@ arkansasonline.com
This article was published today at 6:52 a.m.
River Valley Ozark, Pages 139 on 04/11/2010

Coming this Month!

2010-04-06T22:20:00.001-05:00

I forget to let you know about all the upcoming activities!

This week!

Monday-Wednesday and Friday 3R's Tutoring in the Park from 4pm-6pm

Saturday April 10, 2010
Nehemiah Project/ Not so Extreme Home Makeover with
Chi Alpha in the Park beginning at 10am

Saturday April 10, 2010
King's Club in the Park from 1:00pm-2:30pm

Saturday April 17, 2010

God, Gospel and Poverty Seminar from 9:00am -12:30pm at the United Way Building in Conway Arkansas.

God, Gospel and Poverty is a three hour intensive class desgined to serve local churches and those who serve among the poor and homeless.

In this class, participants will learn about the biblical perspective of poverty, how the Gospel impacts poverty and how to develop appropriate poverty alleviation methods.

This class is conducted in an interactive and lecture format as participants learn from both the teacher and one another. Participation is free and the class is offered four times during the year.

Leave a comment if you have any questions!

Ministry Monday!

2010-04-05T12:14:00.001-05:00

I must begin by saying Happy Easter or really Resurrection Sunday. I know that was earlier this month, but never the less it was and is a celebration that we should consider daily! So now that the craziness of our traditional Easter celebration is done for this year. I would challenge us all to think about how the truth of Jesus' Resurrection affects our daily lives. We need to seek the Savior daily and celebrate His resurrection power everyday! What does that look like for you?

For me it is the simplest and yet most complex concept there is....LOVE! The power of the Resurrection is real to me on a daily basis when I think of the Love of God in Christ Jesus! This truth is the driving passion behind any and all ministry I seek to partake in. It was Love that drove Christ to the Cross and Love that resurrected Jesus from the dead. It was love that caused Christ to reach down into the depths of my soul and call to me to salvation, it is that same love the compels me to leap for joy or burst into song when I think of Christ!

This Love that does not fail and has no end! Love that covers sin! Love; if only we could grasp the depths of this love we would be changed! I seek to walk in and give that same love that was afforded to me on the Cross of Calvary! What do you remember about the Cross and Jesus' Resurrection?

FHM Being His Crown Series!

2010-04-02T00:00:00.001-05:00

The post you find below was written by my husband Phil. I thought it was so amazing that I had to post it on my blog for the FHM "being his CROWN series". The post below confirms the truth that you are the crown for your husband. Without giving too much away: I want to encourage us as women to take physical pleasure in our own husbands. Sex is not a duty you are required to fulfill, but rather a pleasurable gift from God that brings healing and health to both you and your husband. So enjoy your man! Allow yourself to be free and refreshed with sexual awakening with your husband.

"Marriage that is intoxicating and exhilarating

Solomon, even with his many faults had great wisdom. In Proverbs 5:19, he speaks to his son and instructs him concerning his wife to…

Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;

be intoxicated always in her love (ESV)

Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;

be exhilarated always with her love (NASB)

3 observations

1. Sex is between husband and wife

The sexual relationship described by Solomon is shown as a fountain or cistern that is refreshing to the couple. This relationship was ordained by God and put in place at the creation of Adam and Eve. Within this context we can gain an understanding for the profound beauty of a man and woman sexually enjoying one another in the sight of God and reflecting what God did at the beginning where out of one flesh, God made woman. A husband and wife coming together is a sweet ripple in the waters of life that glorifies God. Out of that truth, husbands should rejoice in the knowledge that God provided them a sweet fountain called their wife, in which they can find refreshment and satisfaction.

2. Her body is your delight and satisfaction

The Scriptures point out the woman’s breast. Men it does not matter if your wife is an A cup, double D or experienced a mastectomy, God commands us to find pleasure in the breast of our wives. It is not a stretch either to say that God is commanding us to find pleasure in her neck, thighs, calves, and yes, the most private portion of her entire body. You are to have complete delight in the body of your wife. You are to be so satisfied in the body of your wife that the very thought of her should cause you to pick up your phones, get off of your computer and take hold what is most satisfying to your own body.

In the versions of ESV, KJV and NASB the phrase “at all times,” is used. Now the point is not that you are going to have sexual intercourse 24/7 but the emphasis is on the satisfaction and delight that is to be found in your wife. At all times she is to be your satisfaction and delight. At all times, the mind, body and soul of your helpmeet should lead you to find a complete joy in her alone.

3. Her love is highly influential

Finally, your wife’s love is to be highly influential. I included above, two different versions that explain how impactful the love of your wife is to have upon you. My favorite is the “intoxication,” version. How interesting it is that we are commanded not to be influenced by alcohol but be filled with the Spirit (Eph 5:18) and here we find that the love of our wife is to have a greater influence on us than wine. There is a sanctifying work that is present when we as men allow the love our wives to minister to us. So what is the application? Well instead of turning to the literal bottle for “healing,” turn to your wife who will pray for you and will be God’s tool to bring about your delight in her and ultimately Him.

Now if you are not comfortable with referring to your wife’s love as being intoxicating, how about being in a state of “exhilaration,” because of the love of your wife? This is a mood changer. This is the mood you get during March Madness or watching the Sprint Cup or the Super Bowl. God has given us wives which cause us to be in a state of elation, high spirits and happiness. This is huge because this causes us to graciously look beyond the “physical faults” of our wives and be exhilarated. I say physical faults because Solomon points out “breast and delight.” That means we cannot knock our women because she doesn’t look like Halle Berry, Jenna Jameson or some chick on the cover of Muscle Fitness. We have to be exhilarated in the woman that God created and gave to us. Remember, Adam was knocked out cold when God made Eve. He woke up and was so exhilarated to have a wife, he sang!

An Intoxicating and Exhilarating Gospel

Men remember that Jesus Christ found great delight and satisfaction in his wife, the Church, by dying and rising for her. He saw her sins, her physical deformities and cast his great love on the Church. Now there is a great pleasure between Christ and His Church that is intoxicating to some and exhilarating to others. This is the cause for us to love our wives because we have drunk from the river of Living Water and his influential love will overflow into our marriages. So ultimately your intoxication and exhilaration is because your name is written in heaven and because of that elation, your wife will be the blessed recipient of joy.

So take a moment men, refresh yourselves with the fountain of the Gospel and then find that wife of yours."

Fund Raiser Today @ Tropical Smoothie!

2010-04-01T07:11:00.000-05:00

Come out to the Tropical Smoothie on Club Lane off Salem Rd. to help us raise money to purchase a trailer for the City of Hope Outreach in the trailer park. We have been blessed to function for almost three years without a trailer or a roof. We are thankful that the Lord has continually provided for us within the community. We feel like we are moving very quickly and a central indoors location would greatly benefit the ministry.

Currently we are running the RRR's Tutoring, Community Meetings, Counseling, King's Club and Bible Study. Education is not top priority in this community. So having this trailer will allow a beacon of light within the community. It will also assist in establishing our perment presence in the community.

All that to say came out and get your smoothie and dinner today from 5-9pm and don't forget to pick up a flier so 10% of your purchase will go to the City of Hope Outreach.

If you can't make it but would like to donate anyway. You made make donations online here. Thank you for all of your prayers, time and finanical support!

Women in the Word Wednesday!

2010-03-31T23:07:00.000-05:00

What scriptures have blessed your soul this week? I want to hear what the Lord is doing in your heart. Where is the Lord challenging you to walk closer to Him? You need to comment. Even if you can't see or understand what is happening in your life. Leave a comment and allow other women to minister to your need.

For me the Lord is teaching so many things. However off the top of my head it is how to love. I am learning how to love others not in my might or power or even from my understanding. God is slowly showing me how to listen and learn to love. He is showing me His Love and from that Love I am able to pour into the hearts and minds of others His love. Love is huge; I was talking to my kids the other day about why they believe Jesus even came to earth and eventually died upon the cross. They gave many reasons but all three concluded with LOVE! Then we went on to talk about how difficult it is for us to understand the weight of the Love of God because of our own love levels. Our love is often temporary, convenient, self serving and on and on. So my thoughts are to encourage you with the truth of Love unfailing Love for His children even while they hated him.

Here are some scriptures to meditate on:

John 15:13

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

1 John 4:7-12

Romans 5:7-8 my favorite!

2010-03-30T11:35:00.001-05:00

I recieved these daily notes from Nicole who attended the True Woman's Conference just recently. I was so blessed by these daily thought provoking and convicting text that I thought I'd share them with you as well. You can read more for yourself on the website . Here you can sign up to recieve 30 days of biblical instruction directly to your inbox. Check it out.

I am also looking to gather a group of women interested in attending the conference in Fort Worth, TX

October 14-16, 2010 at the Ft. Worth Convention Center. Let me know if you are interested in joining by commenting on this post.

Complementary Versus Competing

Scripture Focus: Mark 9:33-41

“Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.” —Matthew 23:12, NASB

“The role of men and women in ministry is complementary. True enrichment for both Christian men and women comes when these roles are fulfilled side-by-side. A woman’s ministry is primarily maternal in flavor and style, and the man’s is primarily paternal. This marvelous and rich role difference should be celebrated and reflected. It’s cooperative ministry.” —Joni Eareckson Tada*

The woman was created to fulfill a vital role in man’s life, serving as his co-regent over creation and functioning as his helper. Some women react to the concept of being a “helper” as if that were an inferior position. But to the contrary, the helper role is honorable, vital, and can be embraced when it is seen as a necessary complement for the man.

Let’s look at one “helper” whom Jesus commended as the greatest Old Testament prophet.

In the Gospel narratives, John the Baptist stands out as a premier player, one of a kind and necessary in preparing the way for the coming King. But what did John say of Jesus and himself? “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30, NASB). Why didn’t John grasp for fame? Why didn’t he grumble over losing the following he had acquired in his wilderness ministry? Because he understood the principle “It’s all about Him; it’s not about me.”

Do we view John as less than the impacting proclaimer that he was because he played a supporting role when the Son of Man arrived on the scene? No, we hold him in even higher regard for humbly taking his rightful position as the “preparer of the way” while refusing to be proclaimed as “The Way.”

So why do we, as women sometimes take offense at being considered a supporting player rather than the leading character when it comes to God-assigned roles? Somehow we’ve convinced ourselves that there is less value in this position, so we view our role as demeaning or as less significant than the man’s.

Where did that kind of thinking come from? Perhaps during a dialogue in Eden? We’ll take a look at that fateful exchange tomorrow.

Take Time to Reflect

How did Jesus respond to His disciples’ competitive spirit in Mark 9:33-37? Do you compete with the men around you, or do you try to use your gifts and abilities to complement them? Do you seek to honor worthy men in respectful and appropriate ways, or do you have a demeaning attitude toward men? Ask God to open your eyes to your own attitude and behavior.

I'm Back Once Again!

2010-03-30T10:12:00.001-05:00

I think it is so important to take breaks. It allows for new perspective and fresh insight. So we are back to Ministry Monday's, Titus Twosday's, Women in the Word Wednesday's, and Friday Homemaker Moments (Being His Crown) blog posting. Although I am a day behind! I think I still need a break. :)

It's Monday and lots of ministry has taken place, as well as on the horizon. One ministry in particular stands out to me. My cousin past away while I was on a blog break. It certainly came as a shock but the biggest shock of all was at the funeral. It was then that the whole family gathered to remember and consider our current standing in life, that I realized how important family is. My cousin was not unlike the men and women we minister to in the Oakwood community. He struggled with drugs and alcohol. He lost his mother at a young age and his father never received him. I think that had something to do with his downward spiral. But here is the thing people. While Tony's biological family gathered on one side of the room, there were four to five individuals who stood to speak of my late cousin. There words were unmatched by anything anyone in the family could have uttered. One of them said, "I prayed with Tony almost every other day for the past two years." Then another stood and said, "My name is Pastor Somebody. I am representing (church name) where Tony was in fellowship. Tony was a great man who loved the Lord! He always had a smile on his face and was very encouraging to others. We at (church name) loved Tony and will greatly miss him."

Okay so what just happened? My cousin Tony was a member of a local church, he had prayer partners? Who was this guy they were talking about? Then as my Uncle began to preach I felt sick to my stomach. Realizing he is preaching about a family member that no one really knew in the present. Yes we have memories from the past but his very recent past no one in the family could account for. This led me to two conclusions.

The first being Thankfulness! I am thankful to God that He has people in specific places to reach specific people. When no one in our family could or would reach out to Tony God had a plan for him! So for that I am thankful. I could see how the Lord would use me in ministry the same way He used those men who spoke of my cousin at the funeral. They shared Christ with him. Now I don't know that he was a believer but that is not my place to judge a man's salvation. I can only speak to the fruit and verbal confessions. Since, I have neither of those things to go on I simply don't know. For me that is okay, I fully trust the sovereign will and hand of God.

The second conclusion is we need to redeem the time. Earthly family is important and as much as it depends on us we should seek to love, have relationship with and tell of the goodness of Christ in our lives. It is strange to me how we can almost evangelize the whole world and ignore the ones we see everyday or purpose not to see among our own family. I currently live in the same state with a large portion of my relatives and honestly I don't know a large number of them. At the funeral I was guessing at the names of family, based upon who they looked like. Now for the most part I was right but that was really ridiculous. Family is important! I am speaking specifically of extended family. As you consider ministry this Monday I would challenge you as I have been challenging myself to get to know a family member. Take time to minister to your family if you are able. Call them on the phone or go visit for an hour. Take the time to learn intimate details and share them. Pray with someone in your family that you would not have otherwise thought to.

This Ministry Monday is all about how we can minister the love of Christ to those in our own families. The list of ways to do this is endless. But start with a phone call, dinner, a card game or prayer. Love those you have while they are there, it is not guarantee they or you will take the next breath!

This Week in Ministry for the City of Hope Outreach:

Launched Monday March 29, 2010. Tutoring will take place in the Oakwood Village Mobile Park Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 4p-6p. Volunteers are welcome just send me an email or comment and we can get you connected!

Get Out & Smoothie is this Thursday April 1, 2010 at Tropical Smoothie from 5:00pm-9:00pm. This is a fundraiser event for the trailer that is to be built or purchased and placed in the trailer park. 10% of all purchases between 5p-9p will be donated to the City of Hope Outreach. Please come out and enjoy a smoothie or a healthy dinner sandwich with us.

Please keep us in your prayers.

A MUCH NEEDED PAUSE!

2010-03-08T09:45:00.000-06:00

Ministry Monday's, Titus Twosday's, Women in the Word Wednesday's and Friday Homemaker Moments are on a break from my blog site until Monday March 29, 2010! Thanks for reading and follow what is going on in my head, and heart. I need a break and I will return with great joy and excitement! Love Ya....

Ministry Updates can still be found on the website http://www.cityhopeoutreach.com/
Titus Twosday can take place by reading Titus Chapter 2 every Tuesday. :)
Women in the Word Wednesday is also still available...just dig in ladies. I plan to. :)
Being His Crown will continue on Angie's Site http://www.homemakerchronicles.com/

Your Identity In Christ part 2

2010-03-06T05:00:00.000-06:00

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. 1 Peter 2:9-10

Well blogger family I'll share what started this whole question of sinner or saint shortly. First I want to thank all who participated in this discussion. You can click here to see the previous responses from the original post Dec. 2008. It is great when believers can come together and examine our practice in light of scripture. Through the power of the Holy Spirit may we be transformed even more into the image of Jesus Christ.

When God calls a sinner to receive salvation by the blood of Jesus Christ that individual becomes a saint. There is the greatest miracle! A walking, talking DEAD man or woman made ALIVE through the power and work of Jesus Christ on Calvary's Cross. That individual is now a saint and should no longer identify themselves with what was sin. It is like the Jews relying on the law. Christ fulfilled the whole law and for one to go back to it (the law) is to deny the power of the Christ. By identifying oneself with what God has called you out of is to say that Christ isn't enough!

Many struggle with this and so we should take a closer look at it. I'm a practical person and so my examples will be also. Once you are married your name changes. Along those lines if I am married am I also single? No I am married. Likewise if I cheat on my spouse am I no longer married to him? Nope, still married. I used that example to say, as saints we will struggle with sin, yet are not bound to or by sin.

There are lots of scripture that tell us not to look back to the former. See Luke 9:62, Phil 3:14, Eph 4:17-24, 1 Peter 1:13-16. Yes we need to remember how sinful we were but the memory should only cause us to worship, honor, and adore Christ all the more. Again it is not by your wonderful works (or should I say bloody menstrual pad) that you are a saint, but by the work of Jesus Christ and Him alone.

The payment for sin is death. Christ paid for your sin from 20 years ago, the sin from today, the sin of tomorrow, and the sin 20 years from today. It is PAID for by the pure, clean, spotless blood of the Lamb Jesus Christ! To continue the claim of sinner is to deny the saving power of Christ.

Oh yeah, how this started. I have been around many saints and I noticed there to be a strong connection with the sins of old and a very weak understanding of our present place in Christ. Tommy hit the nail on the head about defeated saints. We need to see ourselves as God sees us. We tell that to sinners all the time but not so much with saints. You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation....see above. God loves His children. No matter how you have messed up in times past, present or future, Christ blood is enough. When God looks at you saint, He sees Jesus (whom He was pleased to crush for you!). The righteousness of Christ is placed upon you and your sin was placed upon Him over two thousand years ago. Don't look back saint or you will make His crushing in vain (if it were possible).

Being His Crown

2010-03-05T08:15:00.001-06:00

It's Friday and we are happy about it! Today's FHM Being His Crown is really a review. We have covered a lot of topics and I don't want us to miss the opportunity to dig deep and understand our husbands and ourselves. Angie and I are really wanting to know if these post are helping, encouraging and or challenging you ladies. We are certainly being stretched everytime we post something because we either have to be practicing these truths or learning how to apply them along with you. Any way just leave a comment letting us know you are reading even if you are not consistently posting. Thanks we need encouragement too! :)

Let's Review.....

The Beginning....

The heart of this ministry comes from Proverbs 12:4a "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband" and Proverbs 31:29 "Many have done excellently but you surpass them all". This whole effort is to help women embrace their identity in Christ and specifically concerning your husband.

The Assignment...

Ask your husband these 10 questions. Be your husbands crown not comparing yourself to other women.

1. What type of support do you need from me? Example does he need you to compliment, build his esteem, speak out more often, or brutal honestly.
2. What small or big thing could you do to make his day?
3. How often does he really want to have sex? You have to ask this question. I know most of you think his answer will be everyday all the time. However you many be surprised at the real answer.
4. How does he feel about the food you cook? It is too healthy for him, not healthy enough, is there something he would like to have every now and then?
5. Is the house clean enough? Does it matter to him if there are dishes in the sink overnight?
6. How about your appearance? Would he like you to wear makeup, high heels, flats, more or less jewelry?
7. Does he feel like you respect him, in public and private.
8. Does he feel like you trust him?
9. What is his favorite outfit of yours?
10. Does he need you to be more or less open and vulnerable?

The Flawed Crown....
How are we working through the flaws in our lives as we are "BEing his Crown"?

The Physical Crown....
Your image of you. Physically. How does that affect your relationship with your husband?

You can click on the title of any of the previous post to review the full story. If you remember the post and just have not had an opportunity to respond now is the time sister! We desire to grow in our relationship with our husbands and in Christ, your words may be what someone else needs to encourage them along their journey. Let us know you are there by leaving a comment and encouraging another sister along the way!

Your Identity in Christ! part 1

2010-03-03T05:25:00.000-06:00

I have chosen to do a repost today. This was written in December 2008, and here it is March 2010 and I see that many people yet struggle with this truth. I want to create a little dialog amongst believers. Are you in the same place you were before? Have you been enlightened on a truth of scripture? Do you yet struggle with your identity in Christ?

Again this post is designed for dialog. We may not all agree and that is fine. However we need to talk about these things. So if you read any further YOU MUST POST A COMMENT in response to the questions below! Smile!

Is the individual whom the Lord called to receive salvation a sinner or a saint?
Should believers refer to themselves as sinners or saints? Why or why not?
What does God's word say about sinners and saints?
Do you find yourself creating an identity with something God has called you out of?
If so then who is your trust in?

Come back tomorrow for part 2. By the way men, you can participate as well! :)

Titus TWOSday

2010-03-02T07:00:00.001-06:00

My plan for today was to give a deep study about something biblical. This is about as deep as I can get! Seek the Lord for joy in your daily task. Today began with my Nichelle having some intense pain. Throughout the day however she was better and we were on the road to recovery. Here is the real deal... My day ended with another child "throing up"! It was Nicollus. So for him Phil and I got to clean up thro up, pray for and nurture this little guy back to health! Seek joy in the journey!

UPDATE: Najee' is now throwing up! Again praying for joy amidst the journey!

Ministry Monday

2010-03-01T06:04:00.000-06:00

This week’s ministry was a little different then it usually is. I'll start with this...Nichelle wasn't feeling well Sunday morning. We all thought she would get over it because her being the youngest, she tends to have a little lot of drama when it comes to sickness or injury. It is guaranteed that Nichelle will have some sort of accident everyday and play it to the extreme. So we thought today was just another one of those days that began really early with the pain. However, as 12:45pm rolled around Nichelle is still not up to speed. So we are facing the reality that we (Nichelle and I) are not going to worship with the body as a whole this afternoon. My ministry would consist of cleaning vomit from my cell phone, couch, carpet, rug, pillows and Nichelle's clothing. Not the kind of ministry I look forward to but none the less it was for me to do today.

Nichelle wrote me this fabulous letter after she was able to release what was upsetting her tummy. I am writing what she wrote exactly as I received it.

SORRY
I'm sorry I got thro up on your cell phone
and the couch
and the floor
and the carpit
and on the
wait
I don't think there was anything els that I thro up on
but
I'm sorry for it all!

What a sweet girl! I loved getting that letter and then being able to say, "That is fine and you don't have to worry about what you threw up on. I love you." I hugged her and she rested on me. It was great! That was my ministry yesterday.

Within that ministry I learned that I don't have to do everything. If I am not at the worship gathering other people will still come. If I am not there Christ is! My presence doesn't make or break anything that God has planned. So thank you Lord for the straight up reality check!

Saturday we did King's Club and that was really fun. Phil uploaded pictures on Face book. The kids really like it and getting used to us coming on Saturday's just for them.

Being His Crown

2010-02-26T00:18:00.001-06:00

Friday's Homemaker Moments will be hosted at Angie's Site this week. Click here to read what is on her mind. Join us with comments, MckLinky, or BlogFrog!

I will add this note: Today is my husband's 37th birthday! I am very proud of this man. He is kind, gentle, direct, and loving. We have been married for 12 years and I am thankful to God because he actively chased after me. Many women are not chased after and I was. For that I am thankful but one it displays in him the quality of endurance! He understood the prize he was getting in me. Nothing WORTH having comes without WORK! I have few pictures that I just love of this man. So I will post them for you to see in celebration of his birthday.

Happy Birthday King

Love,

Your Queen

Word Wednesday!

2010-02-24T00:08:00.001-06:00

James 2:1-13 (ESV)

The Sin of Partiality

1My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. 2For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, 3and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, "You sit here in a good place," while you say to the poor man, "You stand over there," or, "Sit down at my feet," 4have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? 5Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him? 6But you have dishonored the poor man. Are not the rich the ones who oppress you, and the ones who drag you into court? 7Are they not the ones who blaspheme the honorable name by which you were called?

8If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing well. 9But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors. 10For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it. 11For he who said, "Do not commit adultery," also said, "Do not murder." If you do not commit adultery but do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law. 12So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. 13For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

I have found myself GUILTY of this sin! Of, course not in a direct way but in the subtle way. The kind of way that many people would agree with my position. However, at the end of the day I need to know that in my heart there is paritiality! Lord, help me to be who you call me to be. Help me to love others as I desire to be loved. Breakdown the walls that I create in relationships when I am afraid of the consequences of real love towards a brother or sister.

Titus TWOsday

2010-02-23T09:03:00.000-06:00

So, here we are on another Wonderful Titus TWOsday. What is happening in your world? I am currently recovering from some major work! It was a labor of love but none the less a labor! As I sit and think of the direction for us today I am a little torn because I don't think I am an expert in this area but we are going for it anyway. Titus 2:3..Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior! That is our topic REVERENT BEHAVIOR!

So I have questions today. What does reverent behavior look like? How are you walking reverently (is that a word?)? What are your struggles with this? I will add on to this post but my computer is being very difficult. So as soon as time avails I will seek to answer these questions myself. Let me hear from you.

Ministry Monday

2010-02-21T21:16:00.006-06:00

click to find out more about Nehemiah Projects

This is where they began!

This is the beginning of the NEW!

This is the Group of HANDS that made it all POSSIBLE!

Saturday was the big day for Emilio and Nancy! I have shared parts of their story for the past few weeks on the Monday Ministry post. They were moved from their previous living conditions to the new apartment in order that they may begin a new life and have their granddaughter restored to their custody! There were a large number of people who worked together to make this happen so I will begin my long list of thanks now....

Chi Alpha Campus Ministries (UCA)

Conway Regional Rehabilitation Center

Conway Celebration Church

Due Amiche's Resturant

Faulkner County Council on Developmental Disabilities

NLC Elevation

NU:U Day Spa & Salon

The Church in Oakwood

The City of Hope Outreach

XII Ministry

Ye Ol' Daisy Flower Shop

Thank You

Thank You!

As we were gathered before heading to work Phillip admonished the group with these words from the book of Isaiah 58.....Fast not by seeking your own pleasure but by sharing your bread with the hungry. Fast by covering the naked. Fast this day by serving this family with Joy and the Love of Christ!

Again, A BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE!

Upcoming Events:

KING'S CLUB Saturday February 27, 2010 @ 12:30PM Oakwood Trailer Park

Being his Crown (Friday's Homemaker Moments)

2010-02-19T08:11:00.005-06:00

Okay there is a change of plans. Homemakers computer has an attitude so you get to talk to me today! Are you happy?! Well, anyway as I began to think this morning about the direction of this weeks "Being his Crown" I stumbled across this thought: . I thought man that is pretty interesting. We all have flaws but how are we able to still be a lovely beautiful crown atop our husbands head with a big o' flaw?

Here is my thoughts some of us reading right now were previously married, some had many sex partners, some were told sex was bad and once it become good in marriage you were unable to come to grips with that reality beause your were told bad bad all your life. Some of us have body image issues, others have guarded hearts because someone has hurt us emotionally, some of us are never satisfied, some of us refuse to submit because we think our husband is stupid, or just not as smart as we are. Some of us carry poison in the form of a tongue and take every opportunity to spread it, some of us crush the very spirit of our husband with our attitudes, some of us are unwilling to love without perfect conditions, some of us abuse others out of a wounded heart, and some are trying so hard to again the approval of that one person all the while ignoring or dealing harshly with the ones whom God has sent that do approve.

That list felt long. Well, it is long and could actually be longer. But ladies that is what I am talking about, the flawed crown. How are we working through the flaws in our lives as we are "BEing his Crown"? You are still his crown dear sister, but let's face it we are not the perfect unstained crowns of glory!

So my answer is a daily renewing. I love my husband with all that I am but I admit to being flawed. I protect myself because I have been hurt, it is hard for me to allow myself to be nurtured by him because he too is imperfect. I had to come to grips with being raped and then allowing my body to be used by dudes in order that I would recieve "love". All of that to then find I was never loved at all! Remember, we are talking about a beautiful lovely flawed crown. So how do I look in the mirror and present to my husband and ultimately the world this crowned beauty? In Christ Alone! I am not trying to be preachy but maybe I am. I just want to offer hope to the woman who says Vine Woman or Homemaker Chronicle you seem to have it all together, but I am flawed. No love we are all flawed! Here is the amazing gift that I have recieved in Christ.

All of my flaws, I MEAN ALL, Past, Present and Future flaws/sins have been addressed by Jesus Christ on the cross of Calvary. The Vine Woman with the endless list of flaws is looked upon by God as a spotless, beaming light of radiance adorned atop of her husbands head! Praise the Lord for such a wonderful gift in Christ. The spiritual REALITY is that my crown is unstained, my daily concern is that I would walk in the natural this spiritual reality! To repeat that answer again it is a daily renewing in Christ. I am constantly reminding myself of who God says I am because of Jesus Christ.

Jude 1:24-25 says "Now to Him who is able to keep me from falling and present me faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, to the only wise God our Savior, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever. AMEN!

It is Christ who sustains my unspoted crown atop my husband's head!

So link up and leave a comment. How are you dealing with "The FLAW in your Crown"?

Women in the Word Wednesday!

2010-02-17T04:38:00.002-06:00

Mark 8:31-38

31 And he began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes and be killed, and after three days rise again. 32And he said this plainly. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. 33But turning and seeing his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, "Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man."

34And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 35For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. 36 For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? 37For what can a man give in return for his soul? 38For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels."

I was challenged this week to consider what I have been willing to exchange for my life. Is it the gospel, the cross of Christ, or some created thing? I found I placed high stakes in the preservation of my own life, some how unwilling to truly DENY MYSELF and FOLLOW CHRIST IN EVERYTHING! In my effort to preserve my life I lose it and there is no gain. The scripture plainly states that if I give up my life, I will gain it. Lord help me to see that seeking gain in this world is loss. However to lose now is an eternal weight in Glory!

Lord, count me with the angels that chant your praise both day and night for eternity!

Holy, Holy Holy is the Lord God almighty!

Titus Twosday! Woman to Woman Ministry

2010-02-16T05:00:00.004-06:00

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands that the word of God may not be reviled.

This scripture is the base for Tuesday's on my blog. There is so much to be taught. I have come to realize that we will always be a student and always be a teacher. At this point in my life, I have been blessed with a group of women that I am older than (time in marriage, age of children, and life in Christ experience) and at the same time I am the younger woman with a completely different group. This text in Titus has come alive to me in recent years, as I have searched for an older woman who is wise and willing to pour into me. I understand how hard that is for younger women to find that mentor. My heart in this is to encourage women to believe no matter your age and life experience there is someone with less and another with more. So be willing to be taught and willing to teach. When you don't think you have anything to offer you’re probably wrong! We short change ourselves and others when we withhold blessed information that pertains to the scripture above.

For the sake of clarity. Titus 2 is not the verse in the bible that we should use to make every woman like us, quite the contrary! A good teacher is able to see beyond their own ability and help another achieve their personal best. I know that sounded like some self help book. But, you do understand, Right?

Here are the topics we will examine....

1. Being reverent in behavior
2. What is the process of training?
3. Loving your husband
4. Loving your children
5. Being self controlled
6. Being pure
7. Being a worker at home
8. Being Kind
9. Being Submissive to YOUR own husband
10. How our actions and being affect the Word of God

I pray you will be blessed by this time in Titus with me. Ask questions, share your thoughts. I’d like to hear from you. This is how we follow the scriptures. My opinion is the younger women need to learn how to close their mouths, listen and learn. While older woman need to be bold and share was they have learned, experienced and understand in scripture.

I am currently working on loving my husband and children, and working at home. With my husband I am taking time to understand him and his needs. Therefore being a better wife. It is work to learn a man that you know and feel like you understand but I must keep in mind that he is changing as well. If you have not been connected with the FHM being his Crown here is a clip we were assigned homework to learn about our husbands. One of the questions was what does he need from you? My husband answered that he needed me to be more open and vulnerable. Well, that my friend is HARD! I have been hurt, hurt and more hurt. The strange this is most of my hurt did not come from him, yet he has to suffer through it. CRAZY huh! We are really seeking the Lord. But it blew me away to know that he needs me to be more vulnerable, the very thing I know I can’t do in my flesh. My flesh wants to protect against every potential enemy foreign or domestic!

The loving my children is twofold. I love enough to teach them responsibility. Again, if you are just now tuning into my blog we have CHORECHARTS! Each child has a job to do. They contribute to our home and life. They are important in our house and in ministry. I don’t want to send any of my children to marry unprepared for real life. As each one of you know real life is chores and sacrifice. So the more they get now the better they will be in the future.

It's Ministry Monday

2010-02-15T13:04:00.001-06:00

What is going on? Well, a lot! Psalm 82:3-4 tells us to, "Give justice to the weak and fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked". This is our work this week. I have talked about this family we are helping by doing the Nehemiah Project/ Extreme Home Make Over, the Lord is moving in great and mighty ways. We will see if we can assist in finding them another place to live tomorrow and basically establish them on their feet. They need all new furniture, and basic household items. It will be a destruction of the old and a new beginning. The wife shared with the congregation today about a healing she recieved from the Lord. She asked me to lay hands on her and pray for healing. So I did, believing that it would be a pure work of God to heal her body. She told us that three days after our prayer time she was without pain and has not felt any since. WOW, our God is awesome! He hears our cries and answers in our affliction. Praise the Lord! You can read about their make over story here. If you want to donate to help this family re-establish themselves you may do so here. Transformation day is February 20, 2010...THIS SATURDAY! If you would like to help comment on this post and we can get you connected.

Here are a list of things this family will need.

~~Towels, bath / wash / Hand~~
~~Shower Curtains~~
~~Sheets and comforter (twin and queen)~~
Chore Chart
~~Dishes (set of 4)~~
Silverware
Pots and pans
glasses
~~curtains~~
~~Cleaning products~~
Towels and oven mitts for kitchen
~~Trash Cans~~
Broom and Mops
~~Vacuum Cleaner~~
Food
~~Ramp~~
Dry Erase Board

Here are some pictures of the house they are currently living in.

An Awesome Testimony!

2010-02-13T21:51:00.001-06:00

As I was looking around the internet for chicken and beef that are fed the proper foods...like grass for cows etc. etc. I stumbled across this farm and this was the testamony of the owner and founder. I normally don't like to read long articles on the internet especially if I don't know the person. But this one captured me so much so that I had to post it and give you the connection as well. It is long but it will bless you.

I was driving down a rural highway in north central Wisconsin that Autumn night in 1977, thoughts running wildly through my mind. "Why wasn't I dead?" I thought unbelievingly. I had fully intended to overdose on drugs and end my life just hours before. But after swallowing some one hundred assorted pills that I thought were pretty potent, I woke up surprised not only to find myself alive, but my head clear also. Didn't even catch a buzz!

As a senior in high school, I was hanging around with the wrong crowd, and heavily into the drug culture. My parents being divorced when I was young, I had tried living with both sets of parents and couldn't get along with either one. I didn't strike it off too well with girls either, so with one failed relationship after another, I had decided that death was preferable to life, thinking that somehow it would be a gateway to a better life.

But now I was confused, off balance. Overdosing on drugs seemed like the easiest most painless way of ending my life, and when I decided to finally go through with it, there was no turning back. The thought never occurred to me that I would not succeed. So there I was back in my car driving down a rural highway pondering what to do next. I remembered a junior high teacher once reading an article to our class about a guy who killed himself instantly by driving his car 55 mph into a telephone pole. That was it! It would be instantaneous; painless.

There was one problem, however. As I drove down this unfamiliar rural road somewhere north of Appleton (about 2 hours north of my home in Milwaukee), there were drainage ditches between the edge of the road and where the telephone poles were. I feared my car would never make it over the ditch.

Finally the road led through a small country town consisting of not much more than a bar and grocery store. But it was lit up with a few light poles on the gravel shoulder of the main highway. This was it. I backed the car up several hundred yards, and then floored it, racing towards one of the light poles. A glance at the speedometer read 85 mph just before impact. And then total darkness…… for maybe 10-15 seconds.

The sound of my car horn blaring woke me up…. again. Again I had failed. With nothing better to do, I decided to try and crawl out of the wreckage. The car was now upside down, but my driver-side window was missing, so I began to climb out. The people who were in the bar across the street rushed over and helped me the rest of the way out. One guy exclaimed to his buddies, "Wow! Check it out! He knocked down the light pole!" It was probably the most excitement that little town had seen in years. They called an ambulance and took me to a nearby hospital.

At the hospital they did some routine checks on me, but other than a few bruises, I had driven my car into a light pole 85 mph and walked away from it. The police were able to contact my father through my licenses plates. I was kept in the hospital overnight for observations, mostly out of concern for the drugs I had taken.

So I laid there in the hospital bed staring at the ceiling and wondering why I was alive. The thought had never occurred to me that I would not succeed in ending my life. Then it hit me. I did not have control over my own life. God did. It was not mine to take. This was not some tremendous revelation or anything like that, it was just something I had learned that day through practical experience. And it gave me comfort. I felt as if God was saying to me: "I have a purpose for your life, just wait." From that night on I never again had the desire to take my own life.

The next day confirmed my suspicions that God had been in control the whole time. First the sheriff's report from the "accident" came in. I learned that my car had gone right through the light pole shearing it out of the ground, and then continued up the road, veered off into a drainage ditch, hit a culvert that went underneath a driveway which upended the car and flipped it over three times finally coming to rest upside down. Wow! And I walked away from that! But wait, it gets better….

My dad says to me, "Let's go to the crash site on the way home." Ok I thought, why not? As we drive down the rural highway heading north out of Appleton, we come to the small town where I crashed the car. The name of the town: Freedom. We drive over to the place where the car finally came to rest: right in front of a big country church. As I look at that church and reflect on God's control over my life, my Dad says to me: "Hey, look at the name of that bar across the street." I turn around and look at it: The Crash Inn. My Dad chuckles, and I feel like I'm in the twilight zone or something.

It's time to drive back to Milwaukee, but we decide to stop at the junk yard where they hauled my car. We ask the guy where the Torino is that they brought in this morning. The guy takes us to the car. He looks at the car, looks at me, and then asks, "Were you driving that car??" I nod in affirmant. The guy shakes his head in disbelief. "You see that car over there?" he says, pointing to a large wrecked car, "It's not half as smashed up as yours, but the guy driving that car didn't make it."

We walk over to what used to be my car. Totally demolished. The engine was pushed off its block, and half of it was in the passenger side front seat. The car basically crumpled when it took out the light pole. The guy said he couldn't even tow it, because the wheels and axles were bent. He had to use a flat-bed truck and lift it up there with a crane. After hauling it to the junk yard, he had to return a second time to pick up all the pieces. But the driver seat was still in tact. It was almost as if a protective bubble had been placed around it. I left there feeling like my life was worth something to God, and that he had me on this earth for some reason.

Going back to school, my whole outlook on life changed. I now had hope, believing that God had some purpose for my life. I had been brought up in church, and had been taught the Bible and the creeds of my Protestant denomination, but my faith was very "creedal" also: it didn't have much of an impact on my day to day life. So I went back to my old friends and my partying way of life.

But my attitude in school changed. I was enrolled in a specialty program in my senior year of high school majoring in business and marketing. With my new found self confidence, I excelled in the program, especially in demonstrating sales abilities. I won some awards in some city and state wide competitions, and purposed to graduate from high school and make a lot of money in sales. After graduating from high school, I quickly got certified and began to sell accident and health insurance door-to-door. I was doing great, and even sold a policy my first day on the field. But there was something missing, and I often felt guilty having "conned" someone to buy a policy that they probably didn't need and wasn't quite what they expected it to be.

So I got a job in a factory working a graveyard shift from 6:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. three days on and three days off. It was a good hourly rate, and a lot of my buddies from high school were working there. It was boring work, and we all "got high" to help us make it through the long shifts. But I always saw it as temporary work, until I found a good sales job that I really liked. It allowed me some financial freedom, and I was able to rent a condominium with another friend. I was also able to buy a nice sports car. Life was great in many ways, I could now party as much as I wanted. But I was still empty and unsatisfied with my life. I knew there had to be more, and I just thought that if I could get a good job with the potential to advance in a career, that I would be happy.

After about a year out of high school and having worked at the factory for several months, I decided to get back into sales. This time I got a job selling educational books. It seemed like a more "worthy" product to be selling. But something inside of me said that I would not be happy doing this either if I didn't have God's blessing. So facing discouragement again, and having no where to go but forward, because I had already tried running away from my problems, and I had already tried exiting life and God wouldn't let me, I decided to try not getting high for a few days and just read the Bible, to try and understand what God's will was for my life.

This was July of 1979, and at that point I had been getting high on drugs every day for almost 4 years straight. As I read the Bible, and I don't even remember what exactly I was reading, I became acutely aware of my sins. I had always considered myself a Christian, and a good person. Even though I got high on drugs, I was no junkie. I rationalized my behavior as being no different than the casual social drinker of alcohol. It was just that one was legal and the other wasn't. But I thought the laws were wrong, not me.

But now two major sins in my life were staring me right in the face: one was my drug usage, and the other one was planning my life without considering what God wanted me to do with my life. Without even really understanding what the word "repentance" means, I saw myself in a different light, and knew that my sins were keeping me from knowing God's will. I immediately confessed my sins to God, and told him that I was not going to make any more decisions about my life until He told me what He wanted me to do.

What happened next is truly the miracle in my life, and words cannot come close to describing the inner transformation that occurred in me that summer day in 1979. First of all, a joy and peace flooded my being, such that I had never known could even exist in this life. It was the ultimate high, and it was from the Holy Spirit. It was so wonderful, that I took all my paraphernalia that I used to smoke pot and threw it into the dumpster outside our building. What I had found was so much better than drugs, that I never had a desire to get high on drugs again.

Secondly, the words in the Bible now came alive. It was as if God was speaking directly to me through them, and indeed He was. The facts I had studied for years as a kid growing up in church now became part of a vibrant relationship with the living God, and with the Savior of the world Jesus Christ. Having never doubted the facts of Jesus life, death, and resurrection, they now came alive with fresh meaning. I read the entire New Testament in about two weeks: I just couldn't get enough of it. When I read verses like Romans 5:7-8 "Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us," I would just fall down and weep over the incredible love God was showing me through Christ.

I now knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had saved me, not just from a suicide attempt, but He had truly saved me from my sins, and that I was now going to be with Him in eternity: "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

Since I had dedicated my life to God, I decided to go back to school and study the Bible. I studied the Bible for a number of years, and then served in full-time ministries in various parts of the world. But I have also learned that one does not have to be professional Christian minister to be serving God. You can serve God as a minister wherever you are in many different ways. Today my business is providing healthy food, and I seek to serve God in that task to the best of my ability. The Bible says, and science now confirms, that a "joyful heart is good medicine." The Bible has much to say about good health, and not all of it is physical. Our spiritual and emotional state has more to do with our health than our modern rationalistic society and medical system would care to admit. So if you are seeking better health, don't just look at your physical symptoms. Look to the Great Physician, and healer of your soul, and give your heart to Christ for true peace with God. Then you will discover true health and life! Everything else on this website, and any product I have to offer you, is worthless if you don't know God and His incredible love for you, and understand His will for your life. The best part is that His offer of eternal life is free for you, because he already paid the price of your sins through the blood of his Son. I have nothing here to offer you that can beat that!

Peace!

Brian Shilhavy

Founder, Tropical Traditions, Inc.

http://www.created4health.org/

Being his Crown

2010-02-12T05:04:00.002-06:00

Last week there was homework! Make a comment on this site or on BlogFrog to share insight from the homework assignment! Today's Being his Crown (FHM) will be hosted at homemaker chronicles. Click here to read what is on Angie's mind. Don't forget to join in on the discussion at Blog Frog.

Chores and Charts PRAISE THE LORD!

2010-02-11T21:18:00.000-06:00

Saturday the 6th of February my family and I spend the day with all the Halehole's. We had a fabulous time and exchanged some great family ideas. Mrs. Halehole allowed me to borrow two books (Managers of Their Homes & Managers of Their Chores by Steven and Teri Maxwell). These books have changed my world (for the better)! I am so thankful to God and the Maxwell's and to Mrs. Halehole for getting this information into my hands!

I am now the proud momma of three morning chore chart packs, and a color coded kitchen chore chart. We still have lots of charting and chores to establish, but I am very excited by what I have seen so far.

We have kept rooms squared away for days. Dinner clean up took all of 10 minutes. I don't think you understand what I am saying. IT TOOK 10 Minutes to clean an entire kitchen for a family of five. That my friends is SUCCESS!

I did not understand the importance of having my children participate in household chores until recently. So word to the wise get these little people moving! Not only for you but truly for them and their future spouse!

Thanks friends!

Scripture of the Day!

2010-02-10T00:28:00.002-06:00

Isaiah 53

1 Who has believed what he has heard from us?
And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
2For he grew up before him like a young plant,
and like a root out of dry ground;
he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
and no beauty that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by men;
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.
5 But he was wounded for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
and with his stripes we are healed.
6 All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
7He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
yet he opened not his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
so he opened not his mouth.
8By oppression and judgment he was taken away;
and as for his generation, who considered
that he was cut off out of the land of the living,
stricken for the transgression of my people?
9And they made his grave with the wicked
and with a rich man in his death,
although he had done no violence,
and there was no deceit in his mouth.
10Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him;
he has put him to grief;
when his soul makes an offering for guilt,
he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;
the will of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.
11Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied;by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant,make many to be accounted righteous,
and he shall bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many,
and he shall divide the spoil with the strong,
because he poured out his soul to death
and was numbered with the transgressors;
yet he bore the sin of many,
and makes intercession for the transgressors.

Ministry Monday

2010-02-08T04:00:00.018-06:00

It's Monday and the week has flown by. Last week was jammed packed with ministry opportunities and task. Monday was recovery day; Tuesday I spent time with a family in Oakwood. Wednesday the kids had doctor’s appointments, Thursday, Phil met with Peace Lutheran Church and I worked to created a story board for that. Then the kids and I went to a math and science fair. And, finally on Friday there was Friday Morning coffee and taxes. But, let me tell you a little more about the family from Oakwood.

Her husband is a double amputee and the wife has suffered many injuries. They are trying to get their home in order so they can be reunited with their granddaughter. As I took a walk through the home my heart broke at all that my eyes beheld. I had never seen anything like it before. This family has been connected with the Church in Oakwood for several months. We could not ignore their hurt because of these words in Psalm 82:3-4.

"Give justice to the weak and fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked."

This family has an income of $1600 monthly and pays $425 in rent and has a gas bill on average of $600. WHY is the bill so high? Well, because there are gaping holes in the floor, the front door, and the windows. They have to borrow money from others to get food. They don't qualify for food stamps because they make too much money, yet not enough to survive. The husband and wife don't even sleep in the same bed. He has a special bed (twin) and the wife sleeps on the couch. That couch was left there by the previous residents and is sloped in many areas. She suffers from ulcers in her abdominal area and has problems with the disk in her neck which causes very painful headaches. If that isn't enough she has also had three eye surgeries and is 70% blind. There a many with this story. The story of, one thing after another. But, these people are right in our midst. What can be done in light of the word that has been resting on my heart?

Here is our current direction. We are partnering with Chi Alpha a college ministry of University Central Arkansas (Conway) to serve this family. Chi Alpha does what is called "Not So Extreme Home Makeovers" were they gather about 40-75 students to help serve a family. The City of Hope Outreach has what is called "The Nehemiah Project" based from the book of Nehemiah. We want to help rebuild this area of Conway. Many people have ignored this area, and we are crying out on their behalf. So we are putting together our resources and skill to help change this situation. Not only that but we are working with this family toward empowerment and responsibility.

I have to add this in as a HUGE side note. We talked to them about moving into a trailer that was a whole lot better and a little less then what they are paying now. Her response was, “But we don’t want to leave the church”. I was floored at that statement. She went on to explain that this was the only church they felt at home in. She mentioned how much they are loved and cared for, when they needed hope Phil would show up at their front door.

It is hard to change behaviors without instruction. People need people who will be willing to take time out of their "busy" lives and lovingly train and instruct in everyday basics. We can't assume that everyone has been taught from the same values and skill sets. When a person is struggling and is searching then we need to be there.

The next stage is getting people who will help with the basic how to. For instance, how to wash laundry, prepare and clean after dinner, on and on. What need is basically a schedule and training to accomplish the things set before them. I am working on a schedule myself. This is the helpful guide I am using and will help this family with. Anyway, that was a lot and will continue to be a lot as we take the gospel into the lives of men and women.

The message of the gospel not only affects your relationship with Christ, but it will affect your love for others, how you live and where you are willing to live. As the gospel is made more and more alive in your heart you will be willing to dig deeper and deeper in the mess of your own life and the lives of others.

UPCOMING EVENTS

King's Club in Oakwood Saturday February 13, 2010 @ 1:00PM
Sunday Worship in Oakwood Sunday February 14, 2010 @ 1:00PM
Community Meeting in Oakwood Friday 19, 2010 @ 4:00PM
Nehemiah Project/ Not So Extreme Home Make Over in Oakwood Saturday February 20,2010 @ 10:00AM

Please be praying about each one of these events and activities. It is our prayer and goal that Christ Name be made known through the PROCLAIMED WORD and the WORD LIVED OUT!

Being His Crown (Friday's Homemaker Moments)

2010-02-05T08:05:00.001-06:00

The topic...Learning YOUR husband, so he can wear HIS CROWN (YOU) well!

It's Friday and I am holdin' it down for the "Being his Crown" FHM this week! I am thrilled to share this particular topic with you ladies. In my 12 years of marriage to Phil, I have realized that the type of woman my husband needs is very specific. It has taken years and years to fully understand (did I say fully? I meant gain a little understanding of) his needs as a man, husband, father, friend and co-laborer in the gospel of Christ.

In times past I struggled with comparing myself to others (especially Christian women). You know how we (Christian women) try to act like everything is perfect in our world because of Jesus all the while hurting and in need of one or two sisters to just say, "I hear you, I understand or you can make it through." Okay I feel like I am digressing!

My point is you are your husband's crown not mine. So the things that I do should be specific to my husbands needs. Have you ever done this?

Talked to a friend and they said, "I wake up at 5:00am have a quiet time with the Lord for one hour. After that I make a full breakfast for my husband and kids. Then as my husband leaves for work the kids and I stand at the door waving as he pulls out of the driveway because that is what he likes. It makes him feel important and significant." So, after this conversation you go home and wake up the next morning at 5:00am and attempt to recreate this woman’s morning. But the response from your husband is much different. Your husband does not like big breakfasts. As a result he overlooks your meal, gives quick kisses to everyone, hops in his car and drives off looking back at the whole family like you have all LOST your mind. Then you walk away feeling like the biggest unloved, unwanted LOSER!

Has that ever happened to you? Well, I have experienced something along those lines. I can recall thinking those are good things I should do them. I thought my husband would really respond favorably to this, only to find that he is in no way interested. This type of comparing hurts marriage. We need to take time to understand our own husband. I don't need to understand your man you don't need to understand mine. There is nothing wrong with the exchange of ideas and practical things, but at the end of the day we need to see what it is that pleases our OWN husband.

Our goal with FHM Being His Crown is that you would embrace the crown that you are for your husband. However, you can't fully do that if you don't know what kind of jewels he likes to wear. Remember, you are already a crown for your husband, but today we are going to decorate that crown just the way your man likes it.

You have an assignment....
Ask your husband these 10 questions.

1. What type of support do you need from me? Example does he need you to compliment, build his esteem, speak out more often, or brutal honestly.

2. What small or big thing could you do to make his day?

3. How often does he really want to have sex? You have to ask this question. I know most of you think his answer will be everyday all the time. However you many be surprised at the real answer.

4. How does he feel about the food you cook? It is too healthy for him, not healthy enough, is there something he would like to have every now and then?

5. Is the house clean enough? Does it matter to him if there are dishes in the sink overnight?

6. How about your appearance? Would he like you to wear makeup, high heels, flats, more or less jewelry?

7. Does he feel like you respect him, in public and private?

8. Does he feel like you trust him?

9. What is his favorite outfit of yours?

10. Does he need you to be more or less open and vulnerable?

What are your thoughts on this topic? Comment or share on your space using the MckLinky below. Or visit us in the Blog Frog Forum under Homemaker Chronicles.

Scripture of the Day!

2010-02-04T20:27:00.000-06:00

Okay so this scripture popped off the page this morning as I read it. What does it do for you? Pay close attention to the highlighted verse.

Hebrews 12:3-11

Do Not Grow Weary

3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. 4In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
"My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
6For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives."
7It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Ministry Monday

2010-02-01T11:01:00.009-06:00

This is Ministry Monday! I like these little catchy phrases. My goal is to share a portion of my heart and give updates on what is happening in ministry with "The Church in Oakwood" and "The City of Hope Outreach".

I will begin with this scripture.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame and is seated at the right hand of the throne of GOD. Hebrews 12:1-2

Yesterday was a day of endurance. For those of you who don't know we gather for worship outside under the sun and trees in the center of a run down trailer park. Most of the time it is a blast! However, we had experienced snow and below freezing temperature. So the gathering was at best going to be very cold! The sun came out and shined just bright enough to melt the snow on the trees ever so slightly. Slowly and continually melted snow dripped on many heads throughout our gathering time. This to some degree was funny but not 100%. Much of the reason we gather in this location is to build community, love the outcast and be a visible picture of the body of Christ (rich, middle, poor, black, brown, yellow, white, college education, no diploma etc.). The weather was bad and as a result only one of the regular people aside from my family was there. I thought for a minute why are we here? We could have meet inside my house or someone else's for that matter. And then it hit me. Christ is asking me to "run with endurance the race that is set before me, looking to Jesus". Now there were plenty of people there, however only one who was living in the community.

Then I remembered the witness. There was young man taking out his trash. He happens to deal in creative finances if you know what that means. Anyway, he watched us set up chairs, in prep for fellowship and worship. One of the other residents was blasting his music right were we meet. He came to me and said I will turn it down in a few minutes so as not to disturb the church meeting. Side note this was a man who yelled that he couldn’t stand me and did not want his wife to be brainwashed!

All of that opened one more memory...Gary! He said, "I don't understand why you guys just keep coming back? There is nothing and nobody here, except a bunch of drunks, hoes and dealers! Why do you come?” If I were to see only my comfort many of these people would never understand the love of Christ! We keep coming because Christ kept coming to us! He still does! If I were to stop going before God said, I would never understand how to partake in this joy that is spoken of in Hebrews. So, I seek to endure what is hard and unexplainable for the human heart that in looking to Jesus I may be like my Father.

Be encouraged in your walk with the Lord. Run your race with endurance looking to Christ and receive His Joy!

UPDATES:

Community Assessments

We will be going house to house beginning February 2-5 @ 1p-5p taking a survey of residents and needs (physical, emotional, & spiritual)

Valentine Boxes

This Saturday February 6th @ 1p we are helping the children of Marguerite Vann Elementary School put together valentine's boxes for school!

King's Club

Begins February 13th @ 1pm (will continue every other week). King's Club is a one hour Saturday activity for the children. It will help us to establish and develop relationships with the children and their families in Oakwood. If you would like to help with any of the activities listed above please see the website and sign up.

Not So Extreme Home Make Over

February 20th in Oakwood at 9am. We are helping a family be reunited with their granddaughter by bringing their home up to code. The City of Hope Outreach and Chi Alpha partner again to display the Love of Jesus Christ!

If you would like to get involved with any of these activities click on the title and it will direct you to the website and you can sign up.

Being his Crown!

2010-01-29T00:00:00.005-06:00

This is an exciting adventure that the Homemaker Chronicler and I (The Vine Woman) are on. The Lord has laid a burden on our hearts for marriage. We are seeking to create an open forum where women can learn, grow and discuss the issues of marriage, not often spoke of. The heart of this ministry comes from Proverbs 12:4a "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband" and Proverbs 31:29 "Many have done excellently but you surpass them all". This whole effort is to help women embrace their identity in Christ and specifically concerning your husband.

Dear sister, you are the one your husband has chosen and there is NONE who can or will excel at being your man's woman. You are his crown so adorn yourself with truth, love, strength, dignity and unbridled passion for him to wear! You are “being his crown”!

This is how the partnership works. Every Friday The Vine Woman or Homemaker Chronicle will write a post or direct you to the others site. Homemaker will post the topic on her blog Monday for the upcoming Friday. You will then have the opportunity to partner in dialog as well. We are also in the blogfrog forum. Sign up (it’s free) and connect with us. We desire to hear from you. So let’s talk!

New Faces in Old Places!

2010-01-28T13:55:00.000-06:00

On Tuesday of this week I had coffee at Starbucks with a friend. It was a great time of fellowship. While we were there a homeless entered. I was unaware as my back was to him. The barista was mopping the floor. I looked at my friend and said they need to clean that mop water it smells like pee! Then I turned to see the older homeless gentlemen in the corner. We continued to talk then I felt compelled to do something for him wasn't sure what was needed. My friend having a better view of everything said they gave him food and drink. So we concluded he was taken care of at least for that time. We spoke to him as we left and that was the end or so we thought.

Today I was at Target with my daughter. She was blessed with a gift card and HAD to use at least some of it. Well, that brought us to the Starbucks inside Target. What did my eyes behold, it was the man from the other night! So I thought to myself I need to just say hello today. I mean a real hello like I can see you when all the world seem to ignore that fact that you are here because you are different from "normal". Anyway I told Najee to finish her drink and I was going to talk to this guy. I talked to him, his name is Joe. He is indeed homeless and living in the city of Conway right now. We talked for about ten minutes. He shared a part of his story with me. I asked lots of questions and he answered. We both acknowledged that I was all in his business but it was fun for us both. I gave him our phone number and will be looking for him again.

Praise the Lord for this encounter. I am praying for him that the Lord would have His perfect work in Joe's heart, mind, body and soul! We are willing vessels if you choose to use us!

SCRIPTURE OF THE DAY!

2010-01-28T10:36:00.000-06:00

EZEKIEL 34:11-24
The Lord GOD Will Seek Them Out
11"For thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I, I myself will search for my sheep and will seek them out. 12As a shepherd seeks out his flock when he is among his sheep that have been scattered, so will I seek out my sheep, and I will rescue them from all places where they have been scattered on a day of clouds and thick darkness. 13And I will bring them out from the peoples and gather them from the countries, and will bring them into their own land. And I will feed them on the mountains of Israel, by the ravines, and in all the inhabited places of the country. 14 I will feed them with good pasture, and on the mountain heights of Israel shall be their grazing land. There they shall lie down in good grazing land, and on rich pasture they shall feed on the mountains of Israel. 15 I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I myself will make them lie down, declares the Lord GOD. 16 I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will destroy. I will feed them in justice.
17"As for you, my flock, thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I judge between sheep and sheep, between rams and male goats. 18Is it not enough for you to feed on the good pasture, that you must tread down with your feet the rest of your pasture; and to drink of clear water, that you must muddy the rest of the water with your feet? 19And must my sheep eat what you have trodden with your feet, and drink what you have muddied with your feet?
20"Therefore, thus says the Lord GOD to them: Behold, I, I myself will judge between the fat sheep and the lean sheep. 21Because you push with side and shoulder, and thrust at all the weak with your horns, till you have scattered them abroad, 22I will rescue my flock; they shall no longer be a prey. And I will judge between sheep and sheep. 23And I will set up over them one shepherd, my servant David, and he shall feed them: he shall feed them and be their shepherd. 24And I, the LORD, will be their God, and my servant David shall be prince among them. I am the LORD; I have spoken.

This text gives me great joy and Hope for today and eternity!

Wonderful Week!

2010-01-27T14:28:00.000-06:00

The Lord has blessed this week! I have spent time with a wonderful group of young ladies. This brought an overwhelming sense of joy to my heart! I praise the Lord that these relationships will continue to grow and develop for the Glory of Christ.

Here is the challenge for the next two weeks!
Go somewhere you have not been before and met someone new. Invite them to dinner, a playdate or out for coffee/tea. Here is the biggest thing try to find someone different from you. Either clearly in another financial tax bracket, another ethnicity or someone much older or younger.

I want to hear about your experiences. What were your fears in seeking out someone unlike yourself? Did you find that what you feared most was nothing to be feared? Did you find that you were not only afraid and uncomfortable but you don't plan on trying that again? I want to hear all about your experience.

Blessing in Christ!

My First Post of 2010!

2010-01-19T21:10:00.000-06:00

I have had a lot on my mind! MAN O' MAN! So for me to try to put my thoughts on paper (well computer) is going to be difficult to say the least. I will give a summary and hopefully fill in all the details throughout the year.
1. My passion for marriages has increased, so much so that I will be talking about the things most "Good Southern Christian Woman" do not talk about openly. We will be open here this year. We will be challenged in our marriages to step up to the plate. Why does our culture portrait marriage like a death sentence? I think it is because we have problems at the core and don't talk about them! Christian pornography?!?!? Why is it easier to get a married person to purchase pornography then to support a missionary, or the local church, or the homeless person???? Something is wrong and we need to talk about how to get it right! Marriage particularly amongst Christians should be what the world desires! Single people should want to be married because of the joy that married Christians have around them. It should not be the other way around. So this year we will deal with that WAKE UP CALL!

2. The believers joy in serving the poor! The poor are mentioned in scripture over and over and over again. Yet, they are still overlooked by the large majority of Christians today. What is up with that? We need to live out the gospel not just attend church? What good is attending church without a transformed life living out the gospel?

3. I am increasingly drawn to the simple life. Someday I want to purchase a huge plot of land and call all my friends to live there and create a garden, raise goats, chickens and live off the land. Then other days I just want to go to Kroger and buy what I need or even sit down at the restaurant and have them bring it to me. So I am conflicted. I pray this year I will make some changes toward a more simplistic lifestyle.

I think that is enough for right now. I am excited to get moving and talking about the things I have grown passionate about.

Blessings to you this year as you discover the truth of scripture and the direction the Lord is leading you to serve for His glory and Kingdom! AMEN and AMEN

Growth!

2009-12-28T22:09:00.001-06:00

I was reminded by a brother in Christ (Matthew Schnarr from Mission Year in Atlanta)that growth doesn't only take place above the surface. Here is a quote from Matt's newletter. "I get discouraged when I feel like I am not growing. ...growth doesn't always occur above ground; growth isn't always seen right away. The experiences and hardships that come this year allow my roots to grow deep."

As believers we tend to measure growth by what we see above the surface. However, in that process we neglect to see how much transformation and growth is taking place beneath the surface.

When you plant a seed in the ground it actually grows beneath the surface before it sprouts above the ground.

I have felt much like Matt, however I now realize that is because of the growth beneath the surface. God is establishing me in many areas so that when the winds and the storms come I will be deeply rooted in Him.

I encourage you to seek the Lord for deep roots, not just a pretty flower.

Because of Christ!

2009-12-25T22:06:00.001-06:00

I answer you
I care for you
I listen to you
I love you
I am kind when I am within my right to be rude

WHY

because Christ hears the cry of His children.
because Christ cares for me.
Because Christ listens when I call.
Because Christ first Loved me!
because Christ was spit on, mistreated and abused, and ultimately CRUCIFIED and had done no wrong!

I can be ONLY because of Christ who dwells in me!

Don't Get it Twisted!

2009-12-23T22:36:00.002-06:00

"I am doing real ministry for the Lord. Look at the sacrifices I have made. Oh, and don't forget my kids. I mean they are in the cold, the heat, and anything in between all for the sake of the gospel. I have given up my plans for the holy sanctuary with new carpet and perfect seating for metal fold up chairs, poop on my shoes every other week, no covering and random communications that don't often register in my realm of understanding. Man, I am deep. It doesn't get any more like Christ than this!"

I don't for a second want to remain in that thought process. Because I can look at the person next to me and think I am doing more than them and so God is pleased. Whether you serve people in a trailer, on the street corner, in a house, in the smallest building or the largest, at the end of the day the Lord looks upon your heart(1 Samuel 16:7)! While we may look at ourselves and say "I am doing great things praise the Lord," God is looking at the heart of the matter. What is our heart speaking when our outward actions are all correct? This is the point.

I am ever before the Lord asking Him to keep me humble and looking to Him. That what I do as a result of my relationship with Christ is simply that... A Result, A By Product Never the Product Itself! The product itself.... intimate relationship with Christ, forgiviness of sin from the Father, a pardon and an embrace. Christ is the product. So, my prayer is don't get it twisted, Nicolle! I look through scripture and I see people who got it twisted because they looked at the by product. See Matthew 7:21-23. People were coming to the Lord saying "look we did this and that in your name". They thought because there was a result they were good. However, the truth was their hearts were FAR FROM GOD.

Such a dangerous place to be.

I think it is dangerous because you can be fruitful like the individuals in the text Matthew 7 and God's response could still be "DEPART FROM ME! I NEVER KNEW YOU!" That is very heavy to me. At the same time I know God used a donkey. So the Lord's purpose will be accomplished no matter what. The question is, "Are you a tool or a child?" I could pick up any tool to hammer a nail. My goal is the nail not the hammer. However I can't just pick any one to be my child. I only have three. As of this date that number is set and was set before the beginning of time. I have love and great concern for the child and not so much with the tool. The other difference between the child and the tool is relationship.

So I say to you and especially to me, "DON'T GET IT TWISTED!"! Continue to seek relationship with Christ so that your service to others is properly placed. It is a by-product, NOT THE PRODUCT ITSELF!

Jesus Christ is Born!

2009-12-22T10:53:00.000-06:00

Glory to God in the highest! And on earth peace among those with whom God is pleased!

Luke 2:14

New Beginnings!

2009-12-21T10:31:00.000-06:00

Today is the first offical day of Phil in full time ministry! It was a strange thing going to bed last night knowing my husband is not getting up at the crack of dawn and driving 30 - 45 mins. (with traffic) away and not returning until after dusk. The Lord has done marvelous things thus far and I am looking forward all He has in store. Please keep us in your prayers as we seek to follow the Lord's leading in this urban missional ministry.

We've been married 12 years now!

2009-12-20T21:44:00.004-06:00

So today was a blessed day. Phil and I have been married for 12 years. I can say with the utmost confidence..."there were days, weeks, and months that caused me to believe we would not make thus far". However by God's grace foreknowledge and purpose for our lives we are standing together strong, with great joy, and completely in love!

I just want to add this little note. We went to a Christmas party with some friends it was all couples and adult only (that was fun!). Anyway a question was put on the table for all to answer. What has your spouse done for you that you will never forget, or was super cool, something you loved etc etc? I answered the question but when I got home I realized I missed the thing my husband has done for me that has meant the most. He preached a sermon to me and me alone when I was struggling through some biblical understanding. In the moment I did not realize all the effort he put into explaining through scripture. But afterwards, like an hour and a half later I realized he put as much effort into helping me as he would a congregation of 1,000 people. My walk with the Lord is that important to him. Not only that, he was not able to study for the week and then come back with a layed out message. God just used him as a willing vessel to speak truth and understanding into my heart. For that I am so very grateful.

I am enjoy the rest of this evening reflecting on God's grace for both my husband and I. It would be normal to spend time with your spouse but my husband is sick in the bed (in sickness and in health right!). Gotta love the gift of marriage!

Here are some recent pictures we took. ENJOY!

Special Thanks to...

2009-11-24T08:16:00.003-06:00

Chi Alpha of UCA (Matt Carpenter, Jennifer Barnett, Jennifer Schiefer, Tony Williams and the rest of the leadership staff) for helping organize and gather people to help demolish the trailer on Saturday November 21, 2009. I want to say thanks for sharing the load with us! May the Lord richly bless this partnership for His Glory and Name Sake!

Trailer Pictures to follow...

An awesome testimony came from that experience. Rebecca a member of the City of Hope Outreach who resides in the trailer park came out to help with the demolition. On Sunday she shared that while tearing down the trailer she felt the Lord speaking to her about her purpose. That she is a helper. She also spoke of how as she was hammering at the trailer it was as if Christ was hammering away sinful strong holds in her life. Praise the LORD that was an awesome testamony!

My Cheer Squad!

2009-11-22T10:37:00.000-06:00

Just wanted to share pictures of my first little cheer squad! If you are wondering why they are wearing pants and not cheer skirts the answer is... I did not want my daughters showing off their butt cheeks! I personally feel that is unneccessary. I cheered in college and the skirt was short but my butt cheeks did not hang out as a matter common place. That really makes me sick. Like what is the purpuse of all that? Okay sorry to go crazy because the point of this post was just to show off my squad. It was fun! All the girls were cheering for their big brothers on the Broncos football team. Again it was really fun!

THANKSGIVING OUTREACH

2009-11-16T07:10:00.002-06:00

THIS IS THE BIG WEEK BEFORE THE THANKSGIVING OUTREACH!

We need volunteers to....

1) Send money to purchase 100 food boxes
2) People to help shop on November 17, 2009 @ 10:00am
3) People to assemble food boxes on November 19, 2009 @ 10:00am

Let us know how you would like to get involved!

Thanks

MARRIAGE

2009-11-15T07:55:00.000-06:00

1. How do you and your husband work together?
2. What is your conflict resolution method?
3. What does submission look like in your home?
4. What are things that you as the wife do and what are the things that you as the husband do?
5. Who leads family bible study? Do you have family bible study?
6. If you are going on a long trip who drives and why?

Here are my answers...
1. I am the social network lady (as my husbands says..."the social butterfly" while he is the overall visionary...in most areas. You could say I am the Captain and he is the Commander.

2. We talk things out almost to the death! Of course after we internalized our own position. I think we try to not speak out of pure fiery anger.

3. We make decisions together however God has given my husband the authority to make final decisions and I submit to that. We don't function like barbaric cave people, "YOU Woman, Get Food!" as some would suppose submission to mean. My husband loves me and seeks to honor God with the gift (me) that he has been given. In fact my role in submission is pretty easy because God called him to be a sacrificial servant leader. Really, who wouldn't want to submit to that type of leadership.!?!

4.I do most of the interaction with people and lots and lots of administration stuff. Phil works, helps around the house, pays the bills and he gives our family its style, tone and direction.

5. Phil normally leads family bible study. I will lead if it is just the kids and I but if the whole family is together usually Phil leads.

6.Phil drives on a long trip almost 100% of the time. Why??? because I will go to sleep in the car usually after 5 minutes on the freeway. Remember we are talking about long distance trips. If figure if I go to sleep we will get there faster and avoid arguing about his driving technique. It is a win win. He listens to sermons and delights in the Lord!

What is your marriage like?